When to tell prospective BF?

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Denise2730
Denise2730 Member Posts: 648
edited June 2014 in Life After Breast Cancer

I posted this question in a few different threads with no answers so I'm starting a new one with hopes of getting some answers.

I met someone this week through ChristianMingle. We have really hit it off and he lives in my area. We have chatted online and on the phone for hours and hours. We meet for the first time a week from today.

At what point should I tell him I had/have breast cancer, have had a DMX and am in the middle of reconstruction? Should I tell him now before we meet or wait until I see how it goes to know if he is going to run screaming for the hills?

Because my husband died of cancer I would be afraid of dating someone with cancer because I don't think I have the strength to go through that again. But many Christians feel if God put someone in your path it is for a reason.

Advice anyone?

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Comments

  • babycakes82
    babycakes82 Member Posts: 32
    edited October 2011
    Hi,Congrats on meeting someone,these days it is hard to do!!Kiss   I know this is a hard decision.   I think for me, I would wait until I had met them  in person, developed a friendship and then discuss it.  For me, I am pretty private with things like this and I probably would not want to discuss it until I knew someone pretty well.   I don't want pity from people.  I know your husband died of cancer, but there are many people who do not have that fear of dating someone with cancer. There are alot of people who wouldn't really mind it especially if they felt like God was leading them that way. I think you will know when the right time to tell him would be.  Sounds like you have  good head on your shoulders.  Trust youself, you know when your are comfortable.  I hope this helps, and I will be thinking of you.  AllisonCool
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  • Denise2730
    Denise2730 Member Posts: 648
    edited October 2011

    Thank you Allison.

    Denise

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  • PinkSurvivor
    PinkSurvivor Member Posts: 63
    edited October 2011

    I am sorry for the loss of your husband.

    I would wait to tell your new BF until the time feels right, I wouldn't rush into telling him, wait and see how things go and if things progress.  Go with your gut and how you feel, if you feel like you want to share this with him, I say go for it.  Good luck in whatever you decide.

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  • Mantra
    Mantra Member Posts: 968
    edited October 2011

    Definitely, agree . . . wait until the time is right. If you only see him a couple of times, I don't think you'd want to pour your heart out to someone who's just passing through.

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  • Jellydonut
    Jellydonut Member Posts: 1,043
    edited October 2011

    If it were me (and it was once) I would wait until after you meet in person.  If there is a connection and a second date, then you can begin thinking of a time/place to let him know.

    BTW, I met two guys on dating sites; one when I was having the TE's and the other before any of the reconstruction had begun.  The BC did not stand in the way of meeting either guy.  We stayed friends for a while and then it just poofed out.  No one was hurt, no hard feelings.

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