Freaking Out...please calm me...please

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Tiger_Blood
Tiger_Blood Member Posts: 270
edited June 2014 in Not Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastases but Concerned

Hi,

I post sporadically on some other forums. My name is Katie and I was dx in March 11. I went thru 6 cycles of Taxotere, Carboplatin, and am still taking Herceptin. I had my UMX in August and my BS said the chemo did it's job, crushing my tumors to micromets and at the time of surgery there was no lymph involvement. During diagnosis in March there WAS lymph involvement so the chemo helped with that too. All my scans came back good in March also.

As I started to begin RADS, they did the normal simulations and x rays. Yesterday, I get a call from my onco saying that the radiologist who read my RADS pLanning saw some bone scarring on my thorax/spine. My onc wanted to investigate further with a MRI and a bone scan. I am literally freaking OUT. My radiation oncologist says to be calm that neulasta can cause these types of things to show up and it would be highly unusual for this to be something serious as I just completed active tx but I CANNOT stop worrying. Like everyone else here, I have a family, a 5 year old son and I cannot fathom having to change treatment plans when everything is still so new. Praying for a miracle.



My wife has Tiger Blood. Winston Churchill: If you are going through hell, keep going

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  • carcharm
    carcharm Member Posts: 486
    edited October 2011

    Xrays are nondescript for cancer. They only give a general idea that something is askew. They cannot define what it is.  My girlfriend was told she had stage 4 cancer since 2 of her vertebra were eaten away but after study they found it was an infection. I know it's hard to stay calm xanax helps but it could be anything. Your doctor thinks it is neulasta related. Hang in there. The waiting is the worst.

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  • calamtykel
    calamtykel Member Posts: 1,187
    edited October 2011

    I'm so sorry - I understand your anxiety.  Eight weeks out of chemo, I found a hard, moveably lump at my collarbone.  Talk about "zero to sixty".  I went for an ultrasound and my doctor called and said that it was a solid mass - that they don't know what it is - and that the supraclavicular nodes are the third tier of the breast nodes.  :(  I was so scared - I had to be medicated.

    I went in to the breast surgeon and it was too small and slippy for her to get a piece of it so it had to be surgically removed.  Then we had to wait.  The biopsy came back as a benign solid node - I guess it was permanently solid due to the surgery trauma (something my oncologlist told me couldn't happen - WRONG!)  

    Anyway, I totally understand the freak out - but did you have any bone scans or x-rays of that area  pre-chemo?  That would be something they would base this on.  And I think you're doctor is right - it would be highly unusual for it to show up now--and actually that's what my doctor told me too at the time.  But it didn't stop me from worrying.

    I wish I had better advice as to how to calm down.  My doctor said "Dont' worry - we don't know what it is yet.'  HUH?  Yeah, put yourself in my shoes, honey and tell me not to worry!  I have four kids--just finished treatment and now THIS!

    What did help me was using a temporary medication - ativan is great, but some people reall like xanax - it takes the edge off in a big way.  You'll only need it for a very short time so don't be afraid to ask for it--hang in there!  

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  • Tiger_Blood
    Tiger_Blood Member Posts: 270
    edited October 2011

    Hi All!

    So, I just completed by scans. Sigh........now the waiting begins.

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  • Panmars
    Panmars Member Posts: 299
    edited October 2011
    Take it one day at a time, Tiger. Don't think too far ahead. I know it's hard to not worry. We've all been there. Sending good thoughts your way! {{hugs}}
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  • Tiger_Blood
    Tiger_Blood Member Posts: 270
    edited October 2011

    So the scans came back...it is positive for cancer in the spine areas. Three small spots. I am sick about this. Does anyone have any guesses as to what they will do now?

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  • lovetosail
    lovetosail Member Posts: 544
    edited October 2011

    really sorry to hear this Tiger.  I'm waiting on my scan results now.  I hope you get started on tx soon and that it is not too hard on you

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  • Panmars
    Panmars Member Posts: 299
    edited October 2011

    Tiger, I am sorry to hear this. I wish I could advise you as to what happens now, but I can't. I do know, based on what you've already been through, that you are tough, and you can get through this. You will get through this. Hang in there, take care of yourself. You're in my thoughts.

     {{{HUGS}}}

    Sandi 

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  • Racy
    Racy Member Posts: 2,651
    edited October 2011

    Tiger, I notice that you posted on the Catholic thread. I am doing a novena now and visiting a holy site next week and will pray specifically for you. I will post more on the Catholic threads.

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  • Halah
    Halah Member Posts: 352
    edited October 2011

    Katie I am sorry to hear the news about the scans. I hope you can find calming activities that give you some comfort. During trying times I like to listen to new age music (see my profile). 

    As to what they will do next, speak to your rads oncologist or MO. Certainly there are ladies here who will chime in who are going through or have gone through exactly what you are going through. 

    Big Hugs, 

    Mindy 

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  • D-Ann123
    D-Ann123 Member Posts: 5
    edited October 2011

    I am so sad for you.  I imagine this was your biggest fear.  I started praying as soon as I read your post.  You are not alone......  Might I suggest obtaining a second opinion for you treatment plan.

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  • Artemis
    Artemis Member Posts: 759
    edited October 2011

    Tiger Blood ~ I am so sorry you got this diagnosis.  I can't say anything about what your treatment might be, but I just wanted to send some support and hugs.

    If you go to the "Just Diagnosed With Mets" board, someone there can probably give you ideas on what to expect.

    *hugs*
    Artemis

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