The solution to painful intercourse!!!!!! Yipeee!

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LivingIt
LivingIt Member Posts: 710
edited July 2020 in Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY

Like so many of us, chemo, hormones and surgery have made my marital relations very very painful. Since all this started my DH and I have tried a total of 4 times over 2 years. That is soo sad I know. But it was so very painful I bled for 2 days after try number 3. Then I decided I wanted to try again cause Im so crazy about this guy. We had a date night and I did two things that ended up making me feel like I was 21 again (or a newly wed or however you want to think about it).

1) Scream Cream (thanks K-Lo)

2) 5% Lidocaine Ointment.

The first brings blood to the area and hightens sensation like you cant believe. The second makes the tearing pain DISAPPEAR!!!!

To get scream cream I brought this page to my onc and he wrote the script and I paid about $30. The lidocaine was perscribed for my neuropathic feet so it was free/insurance. 

I wish I could go back in time. I wish I could tell everybody who ever got chemo. I hope you try it if you have this problem.  

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  • Kathy36
    Kathy36 Member Posts: 85
    edited October 2011

    Wow! Thanks for this. Is Scream Cream the medical name? What name would the oncologist call in when she prescribes? And do you apply all this externally, or internally?

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  • CoolBreeze
    CoolBreeze Member Posts: 4,668
    edited October 2011

    I have had the same problem, poor hubby.  Now I'm in no shape to try but someday.....so what is "Scream Cream" and is there a clinical name for it? I'm not asking my doctor for that.  I have lidocaine for my port - do you put that inside, or what?

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  • Annie4
    Annie4 Member Posts: 109
    edited October 2011

    Yes, need to know more!! I have the same prob. Havent had sex in so long - my poor sweet husband!!! Thank you for sharing!!

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  • MaryjRN
    MaryjRN Member Posts: 130
    edited October 2011

    Hi ladies,

    I'm definitely interested in both products. Is EMLA cream the same as lidocaine?  i used the EMLA for by SNB and I have a tube of it left.

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  • Cafelovr
    Cafelovr Member Posts: 1,534
    edited October 2011

    Thanks for bringing up what I was too embarrassed to. Interesting!

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  • NannaBaby
    NannaBaby Member Posts: 510
    edited October 2011

    Sorry to peek on this stage 4 thread... for those that are annoyed...

    I have discovered Astroglide lube and it's amazing!!! Specifically the green label that claims to be paraben free and glycerin free.

    I have tried a bunch of lubes, and nothing compares to this one! I am so happy my good friend bought me this lube for me! I swear they should offer it at the cancer clinics!

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  • Enjoyful
    Enjoyful Member Posts: 3,591
    edited October 2011

    Details, please!!

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  • jenn3
    jenn3 Member Posts: 3,316
    edited October 2011

    Yes, more info please.  My onc is so straight laced and clinical I think if I asked for Scream Cream he would first, turn red, second stumble on his words and third, ask for the clinical name.  I remember asking for the Magic Mouthwash and he said he didn't know what it was and prescribed me something else.  It turns out what he prescribed was the same thing.  And......lidocaine, inside? outside? both?

    My DH is so patient with me and will wait long periods without.  It's hard for both him and me knowing how painful it is and knowing it'll bleed.  Ahhhhhhh the joys of BC.

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  • NannaBaby
    NannaBaby Member Posts: 510
    edited October 2011

    More details about astroglide???

    It's the liquid glycerin and paraben free kind I tried, not the natural one. 

     http://www.astroglide.com/product-glycerin-and-paraben-free-astroglide.html

    They don't provide samples of the one I tried, but they are providing free samples of the natural kind on their website! Trust me, the glycerin and paraben free kind is well worth the $7 and it's available in wal-mart.

    http://www.astroglide.com/product-astroglide-natural.html

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  • Del11
    Del11 Member Posts: 944
    edited October 2011

    I've tried the lidocaine and a lubricant, but the tearing still happens.  Did the other cream prevent the tearing for you?

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  • debstar
    debstar Member Posts: 230
    edited October 2011

    I have a female onc. and I cannot wait to ask for a presciption for this I miss sex with my hubby soooo much and I know its the different drugs doing this, thank you soooo much!!!!!

     debbie 

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  • K-Lo
    K-Lo Member Posts: 2,743
    edited October 2011

    Zoh, you little devil.



    Scream Cream is by prescription:

    http://compoundingtoday.com/CNLSharedInfo/DownloadPDF.cfm?Item=Scream_Cream_Handout.pdf

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  • justjudie
    justjudie Member Posts: 3,397
    edited October 2011

    All I can say is I am glad to see so many women here still interested in sex!! Thats a good healthy thing to still have sexual desire although you have been through so much. L' Chaim!! To Life!!





    Judie

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  • jancie
    jancie Member Posts: 2,631
    edited October 2011

    Sorry for busting in but I have been complaining to my oncologist, gynocologist and urologist about this same issue since having chemo 2 years ago!

    Printed out the scream cream - I see my oncologist next month.

    What are the details about the lidocaine?  I have been using a dilator at the request of my gynocologist but even though I use it every night - IT STILL HURTS!! 

    I was even wondering earlier today if they couldn't cut me in there to make me wider because that dilator is too "girthy" for me.  I know,  TMI.

    Please.....more details on the lidocaine!

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  • LivingIt
    LivingIt Member Posts: 710
    edited October 2011

    Scream Cream is by prescription: 

    http://compoundingtoday.com/CNLSharedInfo/DownloadPDF.cfm?Item=Scream_Cream_Handout.pdf 

    Lidocaine OINTMENT 5%:  

    Both are gooey ointments to be applied LIBERALLY externally. (who can even apply anything internally without pain anyway??)

    They both do thier thing within minutes.

    Jancie, I know what you mean! I felt like I had a rubber band at the entrance and it tore each of the times we tried. Aweful.

    The lidocane numbs that area while the scream cream brings circulation and sensation to the area so that it loosens up the way it naturally would.

    I think the dilator may have been the idea of a male doc..Do try using the lidocane scream combo with the dilator. I think you'll get good resultsWink

    Astroglide: I have used this and it does help some for sure, but it didnt change the pain and it didnt change the fact that my "area" didn't respond in any way to sex. So the three together worked well. I did use a lube, I forgot to mention cause it wasn't new to me.

    Any reports yet???

    PS: DH hung around hopefully last night (first time in three years) but the kids were both in and out of bed till 2:00AM..   ha ha ha.. itsn that the way.  

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  • apple
    apple Member Posts: 7,799
    edited October 2011

    i am so jealous of you guys.. 'we' have an unspoken contract of sorts with which i dutifully and rarely happily comply.. but that's because i have absolutely no libido whatsoever.. i've never had any libido.. it's like i am a sexual autistic. unless i am extremely stoned and that is certainly not going to happen these days.

    once every two or three days.  i would love a sex free life.  HOWEVER, for my husband's sake i will definitely check into this scream dream thing.  I''m sure he'll love it.  how big is a tube?

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  • kriserts
    kriserts Member Posts: 224
    edited October 2011

    It's still not clear to me. You apply lidocaine to the inside of your vagina?

    My gyno has recommended Yes lubes, because they're "cleaner" than K-Y: http://www.yesyesyes.org/

    But if lidocaine can help with the stinging pain, that would be great.

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  • Del11
    Del11 Member Posts: 944
    edited October 2011

    Yes is great. Organic. Made in the UK, I think?  There's a water-based version and an oil-based version (I have both).  My gyn-onc recommends the oil-based because she thinks it works better and longer, but it's  little messier than the water-based version.

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  • LivingIt
    LivingIt Member Posts: 710
    edited October 2011

    Kriserts: Heres the how to. 

    Scream Cream is in a sort of pot shaped like a pill bottle or something. I just dip in a finger and take out a glob about a 1/2 teaspoon. Maybe more. I smooth this over my clitoral area and over the labia. If it is not painful I part the labia and put a bit in there, but ususally it stings so I don't.

    A bit later when penetration is about to happen I squeeze a big teaspoon of lidocaine ointment (not liquid) out of the tube. (its like a toothpaste tube) and spread that over the labia parting the labia so that I can get a good glob on the bottom of the vaginal opening. I get the most pain at the part of the vaginal opening nearest the anus. By the time Ive had the lidocaine in contact with my skin for 20 seconds or so, I can insert my finger about an inch into the vagina to get some of the lidocaine inside. I think that slow penetration would also do this, so the only thing would be to have a nice amount of lidocaine ointment on the labia so that it can be smeared around by intercourse.

    I did find that at first both the scream cream and the lidocaine gave me a bit of stinging even around the urethra. But it passed quickly. After sex I took a quart of warm water in a plastic jar and gently rinsed the whole vulva as I didn't want those ointments sitting on my tender skin or causing me a urinary tract irritation.

    Writing this I remember the scene in Apollo 13 where the scientists on the earth had to figure out how to tell the astronauts how to build an air filter using socks...

    Anyhow. I hope that makes things easier.

    Take home message:  Lots of gloop on the outside. Scream on top for clitoral area, Lidocaine on vaginal opening for pain. Intercourse or finger can be used to get lidocaine inside. Rinse afterward to avoid UTI.  

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  • sueopp
    sueopp Member Posts: 1,541
    edited October 2011

    Jolly good for each of you!  I am an old lady, but still love the romance.  Thanks to each for sharing - we are all truly sisters - Sue

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  • Bernicky
    Bernicky Member Posts: 461
    edited October 2011

    4 times in 2 years! Wow that's 4 times more than some of us.

    Good posting and I am sure more people have read it than are willing to post a response but the advice is going to be valuable to many who are still willing of spirit.

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  • Lynn1
    Lynn1 Member Posts: 2,141
    edited October 2011

    You said the lidocane was a prescription.  Do you know if it is only available that way, or could you buy something at the drugstore?

    I think if I could get past the pain, the rest would be ok, so I'm quite interested in this.  Thank you for sharing all this information!!!  Only here can one be so open and honest.  It is very much appreciated.

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  • jenn3
    jenn3 Member Posts: 3,316
    edited October 2011

    Livingit - thank you so very much for the details.  After typing my post yesterday I remembered that I have a gyn appt later this week and will ask her about both scream cream and lidocaine.  I would love to be more intimate with my DH.  He is so patient and understanding, but I still feel terrible for him.

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  • Stiney
    Stiney Member Posts: 12
    edited October 2011

    Ladies. Excuse me for butting in. My name's Stiney and my partner was diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer last December at age 36. In February we were at the C4YW conference in Orlando and Pure Romance was there with their intimate products.
    I was blown away by how much care the company put into getting products for women going through cancer that I ended up becoming a consultant.
    We actually have great things to help with your intimacy issues, that I know about myself.
    We have this AMAZING lubricant called Just Like Me. It's PH balanced so it won't throw you out of whack and it actually works with your body to help you retain moisture.
    It's water based and contains no sugars even though it's edible. ;)
    We also have an amazing arousal cream called X-Scream. It's actually unisex so you can both use it and it's also edible.
    We have dilator sets and oil to help with stretch marks and scars that are in our SSS line, which stands for Sensuality, Sexuality, Survival.
    I feel weird busting in on the conversation but I just wanted to let you know about the great products that I can personally vouch for.
    My website is http://www.christinedavenport.pureromance.com
    We're a great company that's focused on sexual education and health of women all over the world.

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  • 3katz
    3katz Member Posts: 1,264
    edited October 2011
    This is great info - thanks for sharing. Now if there was just a simple aphrodisiac (sp?) to get the libido going . . . sigh! My poor, poor hubby . . . my mojo has left this planet.
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  • apple
    apple Member Posts: 7,799
    edited October 2011

    edible... eeew

    lol

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  • K-Lo
    K-Lo Member Posts: 2,743
    edited October 2011

    I have Scream Cream for MY sake. Sometimes I'll tell DH " hey I have scream cream" and raise my eyebrows up and down. He's the one afraid to tire my body, but we get cozy now and then.



    I have placed SC only inside and it helped the entire process. something loosened up the walls and made more pleasure than pain.

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  • Kaara
    Kaara Member Posts: 3,647
    edited October 2011

    Great info...thanks!  I haven't started any treatment, but just from having my complete hysterectomy and lowering my HRT dose dramatically, I am having some problems, so can only imagine what everyone else is experiencing.  If guys were having these problems it would be blasted all over the internet, and on every TV show!  Thank goodness we have each other to share with.

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  • jancie
    jancie Member Posts: 2,631
    edited October 2011

    I am back!!!!  Thanks for the details on how to use the products.

    Besides feeling like the outside is tearing as it is all pushed inside for penetration - my main pain is about 3' inside of the vagina.  There seems to be a muscle there that does not want to stretch which is why the dilator is not working but the vibrator that I have that is skinny is fine.  However my dh is built like the dilator.  I figured if anything get the blood flowing in that area should help.  Been working on this nightly for about 2 weeks without much success.

    So my question is about the lidocain does it numb you?  I keep thinking about this friend that went to a sex party (can't remember the name of it) but it is where you buy all of these great products to enhance your sex life.  Her problem was that her husband was quick to fire.  So she got some numbing gel and put it on him.  Her mistake was to give him a blow job with that gel on him and it numbed her entire mouth.  I still giggle when I think about this.

    Does the lidocain get rid of pain or is it also a numbing agent because I don't want my dh to get numb in the middle of all of this.

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  • billiegirl
    billiegirl Member Posts: 85
    edited October 2011

    I buy a product from Swanson Vitamins (on line) called Arginine Arousal Gel. Works wonders. And if you don't have lidocaine, maybe Oragel would work...I used that on hemorrhoids during chemo.I am getting married in 2 weeks and have been "worrying" about this sensitive issue also.

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