Can I do this alone (the surgery)?

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Not_Tuff_Enuff
Not_Tuff_Enuff Member Posts: 12
edited June 2014 in LCIS (Lobular Carcinoma In Situ)

My surgery is scheduled for a week from Thursday (10/20).  My mother is flying home from FL to stay with me for a week.  I am single, and not in a relationship right now.

Lots of reading today....and there are so many fortunate people on this site that are married to wonderful and supportive men, or have a good support system in place.  Unfortunately, this is not my case.

Please...is there anyone out there that has gone thru PBMX basically on their own?  Drives for fills and basic errands, etc? 

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  • beacon800
    beacon800 Member Posts: 922
    edited October 2011

    Are you having recon at the same time as your PBMX?  That makes a difference.  I did not and my recovery was pretty fast.  I was hospitalized one night and the next day I came home and walked one (slow) mile around with my sister.

    For the first week you do need your mom cause you will have drains to deal with and she can help.  Plus you cannot lift stuff and should not drive. 

    I'll tell you that two weeks post, it was New Year's eve and I went out and dancing with my husband.  This was probably not recommended, but I did it cause I wanted to.  Ok, I left at 10pm, but I had fun even though. But I needed help to carry groceries and basic stuff, like making a bed. 

    Some insurance will  provide for a home health nurse to come in and help for some time post surgery.  Also, line up stores that will deliver for you and stock your place with as much as you can upfront.  Put your plates and stuff that is up high out on your countertops for easy access.  Prep some easy slip on shoes and zip tops.  You might consider hiring a maid service to come in and do dishes, carry out trash and vacuum. 

    Sorry  you are facing it alone but take hope, this is a very doable operation.  ((((hugs))))

    edit to add: talk to your hospital. Some have programs with volunteers that can  help drive you, bring in meals, etc. There are many resources out there that no one hears about til they are needed, so see what your area can set you up with.

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  • Carla9112
    Carla9112 Member Posts: 162
    edited October 2011

    Hi there - I'm in a similiar situation - live four hours from my family and am divorced.  My mom stayed with me for a week after a double mastectomy.  By the time she left I was ready and did okay. 

    Do not make the same mistake I did if you have to take chemo.  I thought I could handle it byself - no big deal - afterall everyone says that it's not near as bad as it used to be.  WRONG.  I spent the weekend after treatment on Friday wishing that I had asked them to come.  I was so sick and weak.  They wanted to - I just didn't want to bother them.  Plus I thought it would be something I could handle since I'm such an independent person.  WRONG.  I will not do anymore treatments by myself.  This cancer thing is much bigger than we think and we do need some help from others at times.

    Best of luck to you.  Hope it all goes well.

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  • Not_Tuff_Enuff
    Not_Tuff_Enuff Member Posts: 12
    edited October 2011

    Thanks to both -

    Beacon - I will have the TE's put in at that time, but I beleive that's it.  Did you do that as well? 

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  • beacon800
    beacon800 Member Posts: 922
    edited October 2011

    No I didn't have tissue expanders and those will make things go a bit slower than what I had, which was just the MX operation.  I'll tell you, I have stubbed my toe for more pain than that operation caused me.  Seriously.

    With recon you can expect more discomfort but from all I know it is manageable.  You'll feel pretty out of it for the first two weeks though.  Good luck to you - you CAN do it!

    Are you having sentinel node biopsy?  I did not have that, which also makes recovery easier. 

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  • ArleneMarie
    ArleneMarie Member Posts: 152
    edited October 2011

    You can do it by yourself.  Looking back a yer ago, I could have done it by myself if I had to.  I walked to the PS's office a lot by myself to get the fills for my TEs and, personally, my husband just checked on me on occasion after both operations and handed me my antibiotics.  I don't want to make light of the operation but it is extremely doable.  It is just nerve wracking since you have no idea of what it will entail.  Also, I sent you a private message.

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