Obsessed! how can i make it go away

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bevdurrant
bevdurrant Member Posts: 68
edited June 2014 in Not Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastases but Concerned

Hi everyone, i really need some words of wisdom, was dx in march found tumour 5 cm, after bmx found small tumour in other breast still waiting on recepter to see if its the same her2 neg.  have a wound vac on due to one side of my bmx not healing....................thats the shorty version!!!, i am constantly sad and think i wont make it past a year (terrible thing to say), when i did chemo i felt positive and up beat, the more i read the more depressed i get..............i want to wake up and feel happy and positive that i can be here in 5 years.........................anyone HELP, thanks so much for listening :) B

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  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited October 2011

    Bev, one step at a time! Try to think about tomorrow. You are still waiting on pathology reports and possible further treatment. No one can say where ANYONE will be in 5 years!! I have learned (wasn't easy) to accept the fact that since I've looked my own death in the eye, I have lost my naive innocence that I will be okay "forever". You are in the same boat. Turn it around and look at the innocence of everyone else as naive about life and it can put a different spin on it. It doesn't mean we'll die of our breast cancer, but we've been closer than those without it. Good luck!

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  • mrsnjband
    mrsnjband Member Posts: 1,409
    edited October 2011

    Just it take it one day at a time.  You might ask for an anti-drepressent.  It's okay to take it.  I fought hard but then got really down.  It does help.  You might need to try a couple different kinds to find the one that works best for you.  Hang in there. NJ

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  • bevdurrant
    bevdurrant Member Posts: 68
    edited October 2011

    Thanks girls, i just dont want to feel like this, when this journey started i didnt even think about death, i thought okay we are faced with this I can beat it at least i found out in time, my scans were all clear, bones, liver etc, so i am trying to use that as a positive, i think with surgery going wrong, and them finding the other lump, (although the onc said we made the right choice with BMX) plus i read this site all the time, which can be both positive and negative from a feelings point of view.  I will let you know how im doing, and of course i would love to be here for support for you too. thanks again x

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  • Lowrider54
    Lowrider54 Member Posts: 2,721
    edited October 2011

    One day at a time...its ok to seek 'better living through pharmaceuticals' - it really helps. 

    No one has an expiration date - and waiting for test results is the hardest part.  It is not unusual to have reconstruction issues - I did, big time - but, a conversation with the LE gals - it was likely that all the drainage prevented getting LE so there is an up side.

    B - always hope, there is always hope - never give up on hope.

    Hugs

    LowRider

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