I'm so Miserable and Down Today/Rant

Anonymous
Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer

It's such a beautiful day and I want to be out in my garden or walking on the beach, but I'm still so incapacitated with this "Baker Cyst" (Popliteal ) behind my knee.  It's cause constant agonizing pain all day long, my leg is so swollen and I have to wear a sleeve on it.  I guess it's like Lymphedema of the leg from my thigh to my footCry  I got thru BC chemo and treatment, but right now this seems so much more frustrating because of the intense pain and the fact that I can' t really walk without painfully limping with a cane.  I know I need to be active and exercising because of the BC prevention of recurrance.  But I can' friggin do anything.  I told my DH I'm tired of keeping my leg up on a pillow and resting it, I want to be out walking with my beloved dog, Bruno, or running by the beach.  This really sucks.  And for as long as this could last I refuse to go back on the hormonals.  So there is my rant for the day sistersFrown

  image

Barb

· Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Comments

  • Carla9112
    Carla9112 Member Posts: 162
    edited October 2011

    Hi Barb - You have every right to vent.  It sucks not being able to get out when this fall weather is so beautiful.  What causes this type of cyst?  I've never of it before but it sounds painful.

    Hang in there - you will get through this too and be outside doing all of your activity before you know it.  Maybe just sit outside and let the sun hit you.  Sometimes that makes me feel better when I'm just not able to get out because of chemo.

    Wish I could make you feel better.  Sending you a big hug and wishes to get better soon!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • pupfoster1
    pupfoster1 Member Posts: 1,484
    edited October 2011

    Rant away Barb, we all get it here.  You already heard me rant earlier.  It's always freakin something isn't it?  I definitely have been depressed lately, mostly in the morning.  I just want to stay in bed and hug the pillows.  I never used to be like that.  Once I'm up and about I usually snap out of it, but it's getting to the point where I hate mornings.

    What is the tx for a baker's cyst---the name sounds painful in itself!   Any painkillers other than OTC to help???

    (((Hugs)))

    Sharon

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • SharonMH
    SharonMH Member Posts: 353
    edited October 2011

    Hi Shanagirl,  So sorry your knee is not getting better yet. I also love being outside and walking. What kind of dog is Bruno? Do they say how long before you might be feeling better? Wishing you the best.  SharonH

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • karen1956
    karen1956 Member Posts: 6,503
    edited October 2011

    (((((((((((((((((((((Barb)))))))))))))))))))  we are here to listen.....

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2011

    Pupfoster-  I do know the feeling in the morning.  NOT wanting to get up and face the day.  I've had those days before, but so far never during BC experience.  But I am beginning to feel that way now with this.

    SharonMH - My Bruno, is my Great Dane who I began fostering as a 5 month puppy who came into rescue.  I was a regular volunteer as a safe foster home for incoming Great Danes in rescue, and the Rescue cooardiator asked me if I wanted to foster this one "even though you have a lot on your plate" she said she wanted to ask me first before going to the other rescue volunteer homes.  Because I have 3 pugs already and he was only 5 month old I said yes.  I had just started with my Onc following my  surgery and scheduled my first chemo tx. Bruno came that week and I called him my "therapy Dog" because he hung out with me the whole time, laying next to my lounge chair with me while I recovered from surgery, and tx.  We have since adopted him because I wasn't letting this one go anywhere . He's a big guy who really believes he's a pugSmile

      imageBarb
    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • pupfoster1
    pupfoster1 Member Posts: 1,484
    edited October 2011

    OMG Barb, I LOVE Danes!  They are such gentle giants!  I'm sure I mentioned it before (and obviously my screen name gives it away too) but I foster too for a good friend of mine who runs a rescue of her own (Kathy Graningers Puppy Rescue) through Petfinder.org.  I've fostered GD's over the years including a litter of NINE 8 week old pups (an abandonment case in GA---pregnant Mom running loose in the woods, finally lets someone catch up to her, she had the pups all alone in a den ishe made n the woods).  Our black Lab Molly was one of my fosters too like your Bruno, and we love her dearly.

    Bug hugs,

    Sharon Smile

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • jennyboog
    jennyboog Member Posts: 1,322
    edited October 2011

    I'm so sorry Barb, you have a right to rant and we're here so go ahead.  I hate you're going through this and I hope things get better soon.  I would hate not being able to get out and about too...it's a miserable feeling along with the pain.  Hugs going at you.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • AnacortesGirl
    AnacortesGirl Member Posts: 1,758
    edited October 2011

    I hope today was a better day Barb.  I've only had a few days were I had ankle swelling and had to lay around with my legs up and it made me feel rotten.  I just hope you get better soon and the swelling/pain disappears.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • tlundy
    tlundy Member Posts: 142
    edited October 2011

    Also hoping today was better.  Chronic pain like that is horrible and we can't help it - it's going to get the best of us at some point.  You know you can rant here all you want and we know where you are coming from.  I've decided this is the best place because a rant from me anywhere else is pretty much wasted breath - they just look at me like what the...????Undecided

    Hugs and parayers for relief for you!

    Tara

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • SharonMH
    SharonMH Member Posts: 353
    edited October 2011

    Hi  Shanagirl, Gteat Danes are good dogs. Hope you get to feeling better so you can get out and about again. I bet Bruno misses his walks.  SharonH                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               Hi Pupfoster, I was wondering about your screen name. Glad that Molly found a good home with you. SharonH                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • NJvictoria
    NJvictoria Member Posts: 119
    edited October 2011

    Hey Barb,

    I'm orginally from Monmouth County, NJ too! I live in MD now, but my entire family is still up there in Freehold :)

    Vikki

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • apple
    apple Member Posts: 7,799
    edited October 2011

    hugs to you Barb

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2011

    Awwww, thank you, everyone, for all your caring words.  I'm still in pain and forced resting my knee.  I have an appointment again tomorrow morining with the ortho doc.  I'm really dreading it. I'm so afraid they are going to give me a needle to drain the back of my knee because even though the cyst ruptured last week, it feels like it's coming back again. My knee and thigh are so swollen.  So what have I learned thru all of this??,  Well, so far I feel like I can't stand the thought of losing my ability to fast walk, exercise, ride a bike and just be active again.  I've always been so active.  I used to run everyday, ride and jump and train on my horse at horse shows, fast walk, exercise and work out, and now all I can do is hobble around the kitchen with my caneFrown  When I was in BC tx, what got me thru it all was knowing I would get back to running and working out again. When I had my brain hemorrage 10 yrs ago, what got me thru it was knowing I was going to be riding my horse again, Now this thing with my knee has totally made me housebound and right now to me stage III doesn't seem as bad as the loss of being able to walk comfortably again.  I have been telling myself, it's only my knee,and what if I had been an amputee!  Suddenly stage III and breast loss seems like, whatever......

    image

    Barb

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • pupfoster1
    pupfoster1 Member Posts: 1,484
    edited October 2011

    ((((Hugs)))) Barb,

    It all comes down to our perspective doesn't it?  As bad as we have it, there is always someone that has it worse.  So we have to be thankful we are still here to complain about it right? Laughing

    What kind of horse do you have?  I used to ride years ago (was trained to ride English) but gave it up as a regular thing after having a bad fall.  I did go bad to a different stable and they got my confidence back up (riding on a lunge line, arms out to my sides with my eyes closed!) and going over small jumps, but then I found out I was pregnant!  So I didn't want to chance it.  Now have only been a smattering of times over the last several years.  Just found out about this cool stable nearby called Great Strides that offers "theraputic" riding.  Man I am definitely going to look in to that!  Here's the link"

    www.greatstrides.org

    Love,

    Sharon

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2011

    Just got back from the ortho doc.  They really didn't give me any answers other that the cyst can come back after rupturing, and there is probably a menicus tear, but they wouldn't be able to confirm that unless surgery, so in the meantime before deciding on a surgery they want me to go to physical therapy 3 x week, and hopefully that will help the pain and swelling.  So, more appointments.

    image

    Barb

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • jennyboog
    jennyboog Member Posts: 1,322
    edited October 2011

    Jeez, I hate to hear it's back and you have more appts.  I hope PT helps though and surgery can be prevented.  Hugs going your way.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • SharonMH
    SharonMH Member Posts: 353
    edited October 2011

    Hi, Just thinking of you. Hope PT will help. You have been in pain with your knee long enough.  SharonH

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2011

    I know, Sharon.  I don't begin PT until Thursday, so I'm just taking the script for 600mg Motrin 3x day to take the edge off.

    image

    Barb

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • SharonMH
    SharonMH Member Posts: 353
    edited October 2011

    Hi Barb,  Just thinking of you. Hoping the knee is starting to feel better. SharonH

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • NancyD
    NancyD Member Posts: 3,562
    edited October 2011

    Barb, I tore my meniscus this summer (mid-July). They confirmed it with an MRI...no surgery, thank-goodness. I was off it for a couple of days then wore a compression sleeve on my knee for a few weeks, taking ibuprofen a couple of times a day at the beginning.

    I am JUST getting back to normal, able to walk down stairs without clutching the rail. I realized I was probably as good as I was going to get when we had an evacuation drill at my office last week and I had to walk down 26 flights of stairs. I thought for sure I would feel it in that knee the next day, but it was my thighs that ached.

    So, hang in there. They say it takes time, and it does. Three-to-six months is average, and that is just the torn mensicus...no Baker Cyst to complicate recovery.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited October 2011

    NancyD, thanks for your encouraging words.  Still in a lot of pain when walking and going down stairs.  Like you, I also have to clutch the rail Smile  I went to PT today and the therapist is also a stage III BC girl.  She told me she knew all that I have gone thru with treatment and how she believes it impacts the healing of my knee right now.  It was good to have someone who asked me what treatment and hormonals  I'm taking.. I told her I didn't want to start the Aromosin unit the knee is resolved.  She's been on Tomoxifen for 3 years.

    image

    Barb

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • SharonMH
    SharonMH Member Posts: 353
    edited December 2011

    Hi Shanagirl. Just thinking of you. How is your knee?  SharonH

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • karen1956
    karen1956 Member Posts: 6,503
    edited December 2011

    Shanagirl.....haven't seen a post from you in a while....hope you are doing good....

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Lowrider54
    Lowrider54 Member Posts: 2,721
    edited December 2011

    Shanagirl...rant away!

    I know what it is like to be unable to enjoy things - very different reasons as my cancer has progressed and I am experiencing the 'hand and foot syndrome' making it nearly impossible to walk comfortably.  I got a cane but then realized - what the heck will that do???  Both feet are affected...LOL  Oh, my chemo brain was showing...again.

    Hope the PT works or maybe go right for the surgery - which ever you decide - best to you!

    Hugs

    LowRider

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • AnacortesGirl
    AnacortesGirl Member Posts: 1,758
    edited December 2011

    Lowrider -

    I'm so glad to hear your posts again!  And apparently nothing can hold back your humor, including hand and foot syndrome.  That some nasty stuff.  Definitely not fun to walk anywhere when it feels like blisters on your feet or little pieces of glass grinding in.  I'm sorry to hear the cancer has progressed.

    Shanagirl -

    Like the others, I'm wondering how you are doing?  My switch to Tamoxifen has been going well.  I've actually started feeling more energy and most mornings this last week I was up at 6:30 instead of 8:30.  Actually planning on trying to go back to work for 3 days a week.  Hope you've found ways to get relief and improvement.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories