My friends have organized a walk in "honor" of me???

Rachel - Exactly! I told very few people about my cancer because (1) it's none of their business, (2) I didn't want to be Cancer Girl, and (3) I wanted to maintain as much normality and control of my life as possible.

When I was diagnosed my dear friend did a 5k walk /run with donations excepted. She called it "a friends walk". I only found out about it the day before. She kept it quiet because she knows I am a private person and thought I wouldn't approve. She did it to raise money to help with my gas expense at the time. I was traveling 5 days a week for 6 weeks to radiation and it was 200 mile round trip. The $ helped me so much and I was grateful for all that participated in the " friends walk". It has now become an annual event held on mothers day and the proceeds made go to an individual from the town who can really use it to help with medical expenses etc......and I am happy to be able to participate in the friends walk and help give back to those that helped me.

I am sad for everyone dealing with this disease and I am especially sad for all the women dealing with stage 4 and for those that went before.

I don't like all the pink stuff but I must say that I am encouraged and honored that people take an interest and want to help out in any way they can. For some people, helping means a casserole, a note, an offer to watch the kids, and for others it becomes larger than life. Pink boas and a walk with our names on the their backs, a candle at the Relay for Life, etc. People feel helpless and they sooooo want to help..perhaps we aren't ready to receive that kind of help.. depending where we are in this journey that no one wants to be on. 

It is so difficult to ignore the pink or to decide to embrace it. I am always on the fence...appreciative and yet skeptical all at the same time...hmmmm 

After I was diagnosed in Feb. 2010, a friend asked if she could create a team in my name for the SGK Race for the Cure (the event is in June in my city).  I said, "Sure!"  Several friends even came up with a list of team names, and I got to pick the name:  Shawn's Bosom Buddies!  So many people got involved, that I was really touched, and discovered that I have waaaay more friends who love me than I thought.

I'm very up-front about my disease.  Within 5 minutes of meeting someone new, they know that I'm a BC warrior.   

I'm a costume designer, and during our May production, I spoke about BC to every audience following the curtain call, asking for money for my SGK Race team.  Over 10 performances, they donated over $3000!  :-D   I've done some volunteer public speaking about BC, as an example of someone living with cancer, to help raise money for SGK and a few other cancer charities.  I do it leaving my wig at home, and I have no trouble asking people for money.

I understand everyone is different, but if my friends want to honor me in any way, I love it!  The way I look at it, is that they often ask me if there's anything they can do for me, but I usually can't think of anything (fortunately, my cancer's stable, and I honestly don't really need any kind of help right now)... so...  when they wanted to create a SGK team in my honor, I thought that was a great way for them expend a lot of energy for a good cause, and I don't mind being the face of my team. 

bedo -

There are so many walks that it hard to say what is happening in your area Oct 30.  As far as I'm concerned there are two rules involved with using me or any of my loved ones who've passed away from cancer.  First, you have to ask my permission. Second, you have to tell me what is going to be done and where the money goes.

It sounds like you have a lot of respect for this friend and she understands that she needs your permission to use your name.  Go back and ask her about the walk. 

I've changed my stance about walks.  After my sister died there was no way I was going to walk with her name on my back advertising her death.  But as part of the grieving process I've moved on.  With my dx and the confirmation of the BRCA mutation I decided to get involved in our local Relay for Life.  My team captain/chairman is a good friend and he always asks me before using my name on anything.

This hasn't been an easy change for me.  I've always been the person in background doing the support work.  I get a lot of pleasure helping others and not being the one in the spotlight.  But, as my counselor pointed out, sometimes we need to be the ones getting the help so we can make the support people feel good.  My friends (and these are real friends, not just aquaintances or co-workers) enjoy this work and I'm honored that they are supportive of me.

But it's so important that we do what is comfortable for ourselves.  No one should be pulled into an event that they are not comfortable supporting or being a participant.  It's not for everyone.