Living in the Moment-mental health therapy 101 for survivors

A few dos and don'ts

Don't:
Speculate about why you got it ( I drank too much, was too overweight, worked too hard - looked around the chemo room - it was full of thin non drinkers as well - my RO said - Penny you were just unlucky

Don't ever look at the sad posts

In the middle of the night when it all seems so scary, don't turn this over and over in your mind. Its your mind you can choose to think about good stuff

Don't think you have to get to exactly who you were before. This changes us mentally often for the better.

Do:
Within the bounds of still enjoying life make sensible changes to improve your health, what harm can it do, and it feels like you are doing something positive. (but you can only drink so much green tea)

Look at the survival stories.

Find a happy moment/memory and turn your mind to it at the lowest times. I mentally walk in the garden with my little grandson.

Laugh - there is an amazing amount of humour in all of this. Did you ever think it would feel normal to lie on a metal table while little men draw on your chest with green felt tip pens.

Have days when you refuse to think about it at all, or have a single conversation with anyone which relates to BC.

Enjoy every day, there are opportunities for happy moments however tiny so many times in a day, take them all, and try to give some back to all those people who were lovely to you.

Plan something you want to do every week, and do it.

"Ring the bells that still can ring.

Forget your perfect offering.

There is a crack in everything.

That's how the light gets in. " 

Lenard Cohen

"Don't think about how your going to die.  Think about how you are going to live TODAY."

Carpe Diem!

When things frustrate you or get you upset, put it in perspective...most of it is stuff so stupid and you have already been through worse, so don't sweat the small stuff. It's not worth the time or energy. 

I also am trying to "just let it go" when it comes to asking why I got BC.  I will never know the answer to that question so I need to stop wasting time thinking about it.  What will be, will be....and it is. 

Do crazy, happy things.....I have picnics on the floor in my kitchen with my son for no reason.  We drink apple juice out of champagne flutes - because we can!  I cherish those moments.

ruthbru - my very favourite Leonard lyrics - love it

I have this hanging on my fridge...I always need reminders to "live in the moment" !

"There is no word in the Hopi language for past or future. There is only becoming. If we can stay where we are, in the ever-present now, we can't be overwhelmed." 

That thorny path, those stormy skies,

Have drawn our spirits nearer;

And rendered us, by sorrow's ties,

Each to the other dearer.

- BERNARD BARTON

A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportuniy;

An optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.

-unknown

Someone said this in a post this week: If you knew that hope and despair were paths to the same destination, which would you choose?

Today was sunshine, and family, swearing at a rugby match, and playing trains with a small child - perfect.

Blake:
To see a world in a grain of sand
And a heaven in a wild flower,
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour

Here is my random list......

• Eat the chocolate, drink the wine.
• Go on random adventures.
• Get three really nice bubble bath potions and use them.
• Buy a new lipstick that brightens up everything.
• Find and eat the perfect fruit.
• Toss out all the old bras for "non support".  Replace with ones that do something for you.
• Sex.
• If it's holey, bagged out, and ripped......TOSS.
• Buy clothes that make you feel wonderful.
• Spend time with friends.
• Go to a new place, near or far.
• Walk.
• New luxurious sheets.
• Get a makeover from someone who is good at this.  Hairdressers are also your friend.  Get the color you always wanted.
• If you have a choice of a clean house or being outside on a glorious day, forget the house.
• Spend time in the sunshine.....and look around at all the wondrous beauty out there.

Do several things from the above list every single day.  You will notice that this list applies to women who haven't had a trip through breast cancer treatment.  Just for me, that life is even more precious time now.  I am not squandering this time I have on earth. - Claire

Thank you so much nowords.

I forgot to mention a major way of getting there, discovered long before the BC journey.  As a businesswoman, I have been carefully trained to multi-task, manage priorities, etc.  So always a "to do" list.

I make up a "to do" list for fun stuff at the beginning of the year, and then knock the items off one by one.  A bit slower this year as am devoting a ton of energy to getting my career back on track.

I did go to three new places in WA State, I had never seen.  Make that 4, as I would count the Yakima Canyon Ride different from the Inland Empire Century.  Saw all these places by bicycle.

This technique has served me well for the last decade or so.

Reminder to add hiking to next year's. I am not sure if this counts as "living in the moment", but part of the fun is anticipation.  And it keeps you focused on making the time for fun and pleasure.

Now, just where is that wine......

I am not a bible reader but I found this quote and it made me think of all of us doing the daily work of fighting BC and staying positive.

"Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them." Psalm126:5