Feeling down and anxious!

No good advice, scanxiety sucks. But huge hugs to you, and fingers crossed that things go well. You responded so well to the AC, and Abraxane is a good drug, I think you will hear great results! Oh, I wish I had better words. Hang in there and keep us posted!

Oh boy...I just typed out a whole ong message for you and I deleted it!!  Gr...

When I read your thoughts, I wanted to reach out and hug you.  You are ok.  It's a very emotional journey and this tuff can really mess with our heads.  But you are in control ... feeling down is normal, staying down can be a choice.  Sometimes we can switch it on and off, sometimes we need help - I needed help and "pre-cancer Fuzzy" would have probably never needed that.  It took a lot of coaxing for me to accept, but I'm glad I did.

Please don't steer away from your life - you are headed for your BA!  GO GO GO!!!  If you need a few months break, give yourself some room.  But, don't get trapped in this monster.  Eat something good daily...with your comfort foods - even a little bit will make you feel great about doing it!  Excerise as you can - taking the stairs or walking up the parking ramp has worked it's way into my schedule ... and I feel great about that (ok, I don't do it everyday, but I won't beat myself up for it...I've always been active but I have to accept this healing process along with the side effects...it all OK

Breathe deep...focus on what you can control...be good to you...and, one step at a time - that's all you have to do.

((((HUGS))))

bak94 - thinking of you, stay strong. Scans suck, waiting sucks, hot flashes suck, waiting for the other shoe to drop... whine away, we get it!

During treatment, I was part of a clinical trial looking at the effects of exercise. I can't tell you how beneficial it was to walk 4-5 times a week, a mile at first, then 2 miles, then 3 miles, then I started running! The comraderie of the ladies was great too. Maybe you can find a cancer support group that has a regular exercise program? And yes, agree with Titan, stay in school and do what you can...

I really felt like crappers for at least a year after treatment...then it's amazing how  you feel better.  Now I feel almost like my normal self.  Just know that that part will get better.  I could barely work at first...now I can do so much more. 

I totally freaked out right after I finished chemo and my rads were done...totally freaked out because I felt so unprotected.  OMG I wanted my chemo back becasue I knew it killed off cancer.  Then, once I read the studies about low fat and read that it reduced recurrance something like 35% or 40%....and then read about the exercise studies that also lower recurrance some huge amount somthing like 30-40% I thought hmmmmm well....If a person did both....doesn't that really really really lower the risk...almost like we get to take tomoxifen (sp)...becuase low fat chokes the cancer cells...low fat really pisses them off.   And exercise aparently does also.  So I started to think of low fat as being like chemo...that my body was not a good host to cancer anymore.  Also...I just did it for one year (at first)...but you could just say dedicate yourself to a smaller amount of time to get started.  And I'd say to myself, what do I want more this high fat item of food or the risk of chemo for the rest of my life.  Also, don't tell youself that you can never have that food again....we can all have it later.  Also we can have it once a week or so. 

Just start eating low fat for 3 months or 6 months or 12 and take it from there.   I can't eat salt because of lymphedema but if you can eat salt you can really enjoy eating low fat...it's actually good.  It is our medicine.  It is our after chemo drug.  Those studies are so inspiring and I told myself eating lowfat is just as powerful as tomaxifen or herceptin.  I really believe that it is.  

I think it is like drinking cranberry juice to avoid or cure a bladder infection.  It is not a replacement for chemo which will get most of the cancer....eating low fat is to wipe out the remaining cancer....the stuff that we don't want reproducing.  

Once I started to eat low fat and walking (inside the house in a circle because I felt self-conscious)...my true nervous breakdown after rads ended.  I felt so empowered.  It was so freeing.  Also I take Ativan every night to sleep.  Get something to help with the stress.  Ativan may not be the right choice though. 

I have a small journal on my kitchen counter where I write down how many grams of fat I eat a day.  I dont even have to read a label I know it all by heart.  I put a smiley face if I did good and a frown on days I mess up.  That way I can assess a whole week or month in just a glance.  After a while I don't bother to write the grams just a smile or frown.  The journal really helps keep you on track.  You can do it sister.  You really can.  Don't let this stupid cancer come back.  Don't wait for it to come back.  Starve it out starting this week.  It's like denying the cancer air to breath.  It needs its fat.  Don't feed it.  Start this week. 

Read the thread on low fat to find yummy replacement foods to have around...there's lots of confort food out there with no to little fat in it.  You can do it sister. 

Meg

I want to cry reading this.  I feel so scared and down that I don't know what to do.  I'm trying to do everything right.  I'm exercising, eating well, taking supplements, working, smiling, and having a positive attitude.  I'm just so scared.  I've gone thru 3 surgeries, chemo, radiation, and am working on reconstruction and all the sudden it has hit me like a ton of bricks that my life will probably be cut short.  I'm just waiting too.  I had a biopsy on my scalp last week and am waiting to hear on that.  How do you manage this fear and anxiety everyday?

Mammalou: Sorry you are feeling so anxious. I was in that exact place a year ago. All I can say is, it gets better. In the meantime, if your anxiety is interfering with your daily activities, see your doctor about medication, or try meditation, or a support group -- whatever helps.  

Thanks for the encouragement and for listening.  I am mostly done with treatment, so maybe these feelings will pass.  i think having a biopsy of my scalp last week has got me very worried too. 

Meggy- I'll think I'll give the low fat a try. I've really stepped up my exercise and it really does make me feel better.