Every Side Effect....

Jewls2nu:  I am sorry for all you are going through and for the miserable side effects.  We all have our most definitely non-Zen, why me, kicking and screaming days and that is all right.  Please do not feel bad about whining.  This is the place where everyone understands.  Sending hugs to you.

Hi Jewls,   I can sooo relate. I almost quit chemo twice. I came to these boards so many times and all the wonderful ladies helped me so much. It is so hard to go through, but i kept thinking if i quit and it came back i would be so mad at myself. Try to keep in mind it is temporary and before you know it you will be done. If you can make yourself take little walks it really does help. I know you don't have the energy but just try to go a short distance. The fresh air will make you feel better. I'm also from Seattle and finaly we have some sun, try to enjoy it even if only for 5 or 10 mins. Where are you going for treatment? I also told my onc and his nurse's i wanted to quit and they helped me through it. My onc also let me skip one week because i was so tired, of course he made me make it up at the end, but it still helped when i felt i couldn't do anymore. What part of town are you from? If there is anything i can do to help you through it, let me know. We are all here to help you with whatever you need. Hang in there, it does get better.

Pam 

This just sucks so bad, Jewis2u. Looks like you're going to be able to share my title as the Queen of Side Effects! ::::places crown on Jewis2u's head::::: I didn't have your specific chemo regimen, but during my 6 rounds of TAC (taxotere, adriamycin and cytoxan), short of the blurred vision, I had everything you have, plus chemo brain and depression (which I never COMPLETELY recovered from: I'm still barely holding what's left of my brain together with Wellbutrin and Ritalin). The AIs I ended up going on a few months later -- because I got a blood clot from Tamoxifen! -- were "better" ONLY in the sense that they didn't wreck my GI tract or make me bald! Oh yeah, and then I ended up with blistering second degree burns on my chest from the radiation treatments too (on top of the fatigue and coughing, naturally). So I know how horrible it is to have every stinking side effect the damn books can throw at you! 

I'm not zen at all, though, and I don't care -- I am what I am, and I'm not what I'm not. I'm not brave or positive or anything else except just plain old pissed off and depressed because I feel like I lost my life even though I'm not actually dead yet. Don't worry about "whining" -- this is the place to do it, since we all know it's necessary to vent. "Normal" people just don't get it. I hope they never do, if you know what I mean, but people who belong to such forums as BCO do get it.

I hope you somehow manage to be able to take off your Queen of Side Effects crown. 

Is there a contest?

I'm in!

Waiting for mri, because they expect neulasta may kill me. Well, just the pain... The knowledge that someone is suffering is not really helping. Hope, they, the doctors, can help for side effects. I hate pain more than anything!

But it has to be worse before it gets better.

After second chemo I feel that more damage is from neulasta than the treatment? But I can't find any details about neulasta on the site...

Thanks!

And what are you up to? ;-)

I'm trying the search, but that's too much and only mentioned, and I'd like to know everything!  I can't search only in topic title... and by keywords... I'll never be able to go through this!  http://community.breastcancer.org/posts/search?search_builder%5Bkeyword%5D=neulasta&search_builder%5Bauthor%5D=&search_builder%5Bsource%5D=category_3&search_builder%5Bdate_range%5D=&commit=Search

My friend (small office, we have chemo the same days! Same cycle!) can do without this. I feel like testing rabbit with that neulasta. Despite the hair loss! Ha!Ha!