LCIS

Hello - brand new to forum. Not sure where this discussion should be in the high risk category or "Just dianosed", I had a surgical biopsy done on 8/4 and subsequently diagnosed with Lobular Carcinoma In-Situ. I have had a second opinion, and been to Dana Farber, which I was not pleased with. The orginal surgeon had given me three options. One, to do nothing (but screen), two proceed with Tomoxifin, and third, DM with reconsruction.

Dana Farber told me I was in the 30 percent range and would not operate, but could not tell me who long it would be until I was in the 50 percent range. Told me that it would metasisis when I'm fifty, but could not deny that it could in one to two years.

Some background. I am 44. Single, recently laid off...have been married - divorced a couple of years ago, but have been a very independant woman my whole life. I lost my sister suddenly and unexpectly 15 months ago. She left a massive wake of destruction with her passing that we are still dealing with. Within 8 months, my 93 grandmother was diagnosed with advanced demtia and alzhelimers. I am the sole power of attorney as well as health care agent, as my father and aunt are comfortably living their crazy lives in Florida (I am in MA). I got laid off from my job (which at the time, I thought was a blesing), And lastly, my mother is leaving Maine, where she spends summers to take my step father home to Florida as he is dying of Cancer of the Asophogus (as well as multiple mylonma) this Friday.

I smoke, altough started taking Chantix this past Saturday, so they won't put me on tomoxifin anyway, not that i want it. I am quitting because of the ramifications that it will have to have the surgery, the recovery, and the reconstruction.

I have read a lot about this course of action being extreme, but over the past five years, i have gone thru so much stress, I don't think I could live my life on a six month basis, just waiting to hear that I need more surgrery or that it has metasisised

I am on all sorts of sleep meds, anxiety meds, etc. I took my sleep meds at 10:00 and it's now 11:40. No sleep for me tonight. With everything that's going on, this is all I can think about. In the past month, I can't eat, have no energy or motivation and at the oncologist appt. today, my blood pressure was low. I have turned to Grand Marnier to help me sleep, which I'm having a glass of now.

While I know this doesn''t have to happen right away, I feel like this would be the time, in between jobs to get it done and put this in my past. Stress has not been kind to me in five years and all my friends think I'm this strong, independant person that can be counted on. Now I feel like I have no one to count on myself. I know this is a pity-party post, but I'm in severe need to converse with others in this situation. I'm more afraid of the stress killing me than anything else.