Guys feelings on Pink Ribbons in October

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EricV
EricV Member Posts: 64
edited June 2014 in Male Breast Cancer

Hey guys,

I was curious what your thoughts about "Breast Cancer Awareness" month coming up.

I am really torn.  Up until I was diagnosed, I would see something pink and buy it for my wife.  Now, after reading posts on here, and my experiences, I have come to the realization that I do not know how I feel about the pink ribbon anymore. 

On one hand, all of the publicity has helped many different research org's get money.  However, it seems to me that if they would have pushed Male BC awareness with the same power, I would not have been misdiagnosed for 8 years.  I feel a little burned by that.  Especially since I have met two nurses and doctor who didn't know that guys could have BC.  Where is the awareness in that?

I was hoping to hear what your thoughts are. And ladies, please feel free to chime in as well.

Eric

Comments

  • Birds
    Birds Member Posts: 67
    edited September 2011

     It's terrible that you were not diagnosed correctly!!! Hugs to you!

    Until just the other day I have been wondering how I felt about pink this year.  I liked it before, because I felt it helped with awareness and hope for more money toward research.  However, after reading these boards, I realize that some people dread "Pinktober".  I also remember going to the store and wishing that just for a few minutes, I could forget about cancer, but there were all those pink items in the grocery store.  I have decided to go with liking the pink again, in hopes that someday, there will be a cure for all stages of cancer.  I also hope that other types of cancer will get the attention needed to help anyone with cancer.  Thanks for letting the ladies chime in.  
    Diagnosis: 9/19/2009, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+

  • steelrose
    steelrose Member Posts: 3,798
    edited September 2011

    Eric...

    Great post and I'm so glad that you're active here and on the Stage IV forum! As I mention whenever I get the chance on here, my Dad died from male bc in 1997. There was absolutely no awareness that men could get breast cancer back then, and sadly we haven't made much progress in the last 14 years. The other thing that people don't realize is that although the percentage of men who get the disease is much smaller than women, men are just as capable of passing these genes on to their daughters and sons. More research needs to be done on this!!!!

    As for the whole pink-tober party, it kind of freaks me out. The supermarket is the worst in October... YIKES... pink bagels! It's kind of an embarrassment and really trivializes what we go through... especially at Stage IV. I mean come on, could they show a little class? 

    Thanks again Eric for keeping the male bc awareness going... you're an important "voice" here!

    Rose.

  • etherize
    etherize Member Posts: 423
    edited September 2011

    Eric, another female here with 2 cents to offer; thank you for opening this thread to us as well.

    I also didn't realize until recently that many women with BC have mixed feelings about the pink ribbon stuff.  I was kind of glad to see that, because I have always felt that a lot of it trivializes and makes "cutesy" what is a very serious, frequently fatal, disease.  But I guess it does help with raising funds for research, etc. 

    But as for feeling a little "burned" by the lack of awareness/support because you're not in the "target" group, I can totally relate!  

    I have HIV/AIDS and I'm a heterosexual female, so a lot of research/awareness campaigns/resources didn't (and still don't) involve people like me.  So that definitely delayed my finding out that I had HIV, which resulted in my having AIDS by the time I was dx'd.

    It's just amazing how much different it is for the "majority" people than the "minority" when it comes to awareness/research/support for various diseases.

    (Sorry if I went too off topic, but it's hard for me to talk about one disease without the other--especially since the treatment, awareness, support, etc. is so much different.)

    Anyway, thanks to you, steelrose and the other people I've read on this site, I'm going to make a bigger effort to tell people that men can get BC, too. 

    Oh, and my profile pic is a photo I took of my cat smelling some roses from our garden.  I didn't even "get" that they were pink until now.  ;) 

  • dreaming
    dreaming Member Posts: 473
    edited September 2011

    This was the same problem we had when National Breast Cancer Coalition was founded in 1991, only Mrs Ford will speak about breast cancer, many actresses and singers and newswomen refused to help us, they did not want nobody to know they had breast cancer.

    Now the same ones get paid to speak about it.

    We at NBCC had called for more programs for men, the original actor from Shaft Richard Roundtree that had a mastectomy and chemo is the first person that call for awareness for male breast cancer He was diagnosed in 1993.

    Each of us needs to bring attention to breast cancer of all kinds but specially men. Contact NBCC, in years past we had some key members that were men.

  • kcshreve
    kcshreve Member Posts: 1,148
    edited September 2011

    I used to think "pink" honored those struggling with breast cancer, and used to be glad to purchase products, thinking that somehow money went to help these precious women.  Now that I've had breast cancer, I get a knot in my stomach over pink.  I like the marches, since it gives visible support for a family member or friend, and gives a direction for people to put their energy.  But pink pens, donuts, and visors?  I just cannot stomach it.  Many groups use pink simply to increase profits.  And as a cancer patient, I never found any useful info or actual support from anything pink.  In some ways, I feel that it distracts from the severity by making pink all too common.  I don't have as solution, or a better idea, I just know that pink is revolting to me now, and I refuse to purchase anything resembling it.  I'd rather make direct donations to groups I know which truly help women directly.  

  • tweetybird
    tweetybird Member Posts: 815
    edited September 2011

    (hugs) Eric!!!! It's totally sucks that you're going thru this, and going thru 8 years of being misdiagnose, and now fighting with BC.

    I dread the month of October with all of the pink that's out there. I also don't purchase anything with a pink ribbon, or say that they donate a part of the profit to Breast Cancer, who knows how much of tht money goes to research or to somebody's salary. I have a couple of pink blouses/sweatshirts, and refuse to wear them during the month of Octoboer, because of the whole BC thing.

    The only thing that I do during the month of October is make a donation to the support group that I went to while I was going thru treatment. It is hooked up with a local college's social worker/nursing program, and it's ran by volunteers, and doantions. I know that the money is going back to the program, and hopefully helping the people that were in the same boat that I was in 5 years ago.

  • sherridl
    sherridl Member Posts: 42
    edited September 2011

    Hi Eric.  I haven't been on this board for quite some time - I was diagnosed in 2001.  Because I do know a male neighbor with breast cancer, I am starting to look at this topic.  

    Even a few years ago there was little awareness that males could get breast cancer and unfortunately, that is still true (which is why so many males are not diagnosed until later stages). Like someone else mentioned, even women did not discuss bc years ago.

    I enjoy seeing the pink ribbons just because I associate it with breast cancer.  It might be nice if one of the cancer orgs would design and promote a pink ribbon with a different colored stripe (for male bc) for more awarenes.  What do you think?   

    I was just diagnosed with a brain aneurysm and am frustrated that this is always associated with the elderly (most of the people I have met on a forum are in their 30,40,50's age bracket).

    I like the idea of asking a major TV talk show (like Good Morning America) to do a special on male breast cancer in October and will write them about this.  Do any of the bc non-profits do a lot of research for male bc? 

  • EricV
    EricV Member Posts: 64
    edited September 2011

    Interesting thoughts.  I am happy to hear that I am not alone on my feelings.

    Because of your feedback and my own thoughts I have come up with a default answer for all of the Komen questions I am receiving.

     "Thank you for supporting the Komen foundation.  If you want to donate to them, please donate directly,and not through third party merchandising campaigns, and request that they raise awareness for Metastatic and Male breast cancer.  However, if you would like to donate in my honor to resources that have been more beneficial to me, please consider the following:

    Cancer.org, breastcancer.org, the John W Nick foundation (malebreastcancer.org), and imermanangels.com.

    Thank you"

    Thanks again

    Eric

  • EricV
    EricV Member Posts: 64
    edited September 2011

    sherridl,

    You should check out malebreastcancer.org.  They have a two-tone ribbon that they came up with for male breast cancer.

     As far as research, the majority of it is lumped in with all breast cancer research since they are very close to each other.

    Eric

  • jyg
    jyg Member Posts: 198
    edited September 2011

    Eric - I have been wearing yellow for Livestrong when at events for breast cancer. I guess it is my way of being oppositional to the color pink and the "little girl" image it connotes in today's world.  In the early 1900's, however, pink was considered a color for males - being a version of red and meaning bold and strong. You could reframe your thinking (I'm going to) and embrace the pink - or the pink/blue of malebreastcancer.org

    (Thanks for inviting women to post on this topic.)

  • dogeyed
    dogeyed Member Posts: 884
    edited September 2011

    I'm not a male, but my father had breast cancer.  My brother sent me a T-shirt that is really cool, it's black with the abbreviations for "Stand Up to Cancer," which has an arrow for up, printed towards the top of the shirt.  I think you could find that website, perhaps, and get something from them, maybe, as an alternative to a pink ribbon.

  • ssydor
    ssydor Member Posts: 11
    edited September 2011

    I am a 39 year old male breast cancer suvivor.  I am coming up to the 1 year anniversary of my diagnosis.

    I had no idea that men could get breast cancer, so you can imaging the shock \ disbelief when I found out!

    But I was lucky, and caught it early.  I had a mastectomy, and did 4 months or chemo.  It wasn't pleasant, but I got through it.

    I think the whole pink ribbon campaign is good, as it does raise awareness and money.  But I agree with some, that as a male I find it kind of trivializes the disease and makes it "cute".

    It would be nice if all cancer's got the same type of attention and research dollars as breast cancer.  But I guess it is a numbers game.

    After doing some research online I discovered that Peter Criss (the drummer from KISS), is also a breast cancer survivor.  So it is good to see that some "Famous People" are speaking out about it, and trying to raise awareness.  I don't mind speaking out about it... but I don't have the same reach that someone like Peter Criss or Richard Rountree has.  Good for them!

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