Pregnant and so confused!

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Hopingforthebest33
Hopingforthebest33 Member Posts: 49
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer

Hi, I guess I can belong to this forum now, what a horrible feeling. Her is my story, I found a lump in my breast three months ago, they lump was huge, I went to the doctors twice, only to be told , its not cancer , dont worry about it, to its just a breast infection, to you have stage three breast cancer! Unfortunately, due to the doctors telling me it was nothing , my husband and I tried to concieve within these months, to my shock , I am now 6 weeks preggo, and forced to make the decision, of terminating the pregnancy , and starting chemo, and then have surgery. Or keep the pregnancy and have surgery and then start chemo in third trimester. What a complicated world I feel like I live in, the surgeons just look at you and say " well what is it going to be "? like its the easiest decision to be made!!! Im so sad, mad and frustrated ,and any help would be grateful. I have a really bad feeling also , I have what my mom has and it feeds off estrogen, so Im scared I will never get pregnant again after treatment, so I feel this is my last chance , thanks again. I have also scared the shit out of myself by reading my survival rates, and dont know if that is worth leaving two kids on their own .

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  • hrf
    hrf Member Posts: 3,225
    edited August 2011

    Dear Hoping, I'm so sorry you find yourself in such  difficut dilemma. While I haven't had the same experience, I know there are some women on these boards who also were pregnant when they got the dx. The one I'm thinking of did have tx while pregnant and did give birth to a healthy baby but I can't address any details. Hopefully she will come by and help you.

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  • faithfulheart
    faithfulheart Member Posts: 544
    edited August 2011

    Dear Hoping,

    there are many women who get breast cancer while pregnant, you are not alone. These women will be by soon to incourage you. While I do not know how it feels to be pregnant, while dx. I do know what it feels like to be a mom!!!  Hoping, have your surgery, and have that baby!!  I may be uneducated about this,  but I think it would be way more destructive to your mental well being to terminate this baby. My children have keept me going everyday, they get you up in the morning, you don't have time to think about the worst, your to busy loving your children. I will pray for you, may God give you peace during this process. Have them go in and take that cancer out, I did it first, I feel it was a great decesion for me.

    Then you can have your chemo just to clean up any possible stray cells. You will be ok, and so will that beautiful life growing inside you!!!!

    God bless you sweeti, I am so sorry, there are awesome women here to support you!!!!

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  • jennyboog
    jennyboog Member Posts: 1,322
    edited August 2011

    I'm so sorry you've had to come here and being pregnant just complicates things more.  I was not in the same situation but I know a couple of women on here that were, hopefully they'll come along soon.  I was told I was fine after finding my lump also and wasn't dx until 1 1/2 months later, it is so frustrating & I'm not sure if I'll ever get over it.  I was 34 at dx and was told they could freeze my eggs before chemo if I wanted more children, you may want look into that.  I hope you find some answers & find comfort in whatever decision you make.  Once you have a tx plan in place, it will make you feel in control again.  Stay away from the stats and Dr Google....it only scares you and makes you feel worse, you're not able to input key info that would make a difference in your prognosis.  This is a wonderful site with lots of support and info so come here often, we're here and understand.  Hugs and prayers going your way.

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  • JustJudi
    JustJudi Member Posts: 198
    edited August 2011

    bump

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  • Pure
    Pure Member Posts: 1,796
    edited August 2011

    Hey there...I just emailed you some really good research articles that show your baby is in no danger and that there is one study that suggests pregnant women who undergo chemo respond better to no pregnant women. Read them. I left you my number as well.

    It's SHOCKING how similar our stories are. My doc kept saying your fine! Not bc..Don't worry so I got pregnant and he was wrong and I ended up with stage 3 bc. I am so so sorry and am here for you day or night!

    Also, do know I went through all of my tx without EVER getting sick..Not even slightly sick. Emotionally I was a mess but physically I was fine. I know other pregant girls who went thorugh tx who never got sick either. My doc said for some reason the pregnant girls don't get sick with the chemo. Something about the drugs and hormones....

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  • Pure
    Pure Member Posts: 1,796
    edited August 2011

    I see your mom had it as well..My mom did too..How is she? You need to get test for the BRCA gene. I didn't have the gene but me and my mom both have a gene mutation which  is what caused it. I had my ovaries taken out. You can get the shots but you don't know if they shots are working 100%.  Take this step by step right now....FYI HAve they done a sentinal node biopsy yet?

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  • LittleFlower
    LittleFlower Member Posts: 405
    edited August 2011

    Oh wow, this is a true dilema. 

    If you can have surgery while pregnant, that is a huge part of your treatment right there!  Maybe you should get stats on that.  IE: survival if you JUST had surgery.  Of course you would go on to your chemo and all that stuff when the time was right.. if i remember well, i think just surgery reduced distant recurrence by 30% - that's big! 

    I know you have alot of soul searching to do.  The right decision will be the one your heart tells you. 

    (((((((BIG HUGE HUGS))))))) while you make your choice.

    LittleFlower

    I Just want to add  that after surgery, you have to wait a month before chemo starts anyway, because your body is healing.  By the time you schedule surgery and then wait for chemo, you may be pretty close to third trimester..... I haven't done the math, but just a thought...

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  • Hopingforthebest33
    Hopingforthebest33 Member Posts: 49
    edited August 2011
    Thank you guys , for helping me out! Im also very happy , that I found PureSmile She has made me feel so much better! I am going to go on with the pregnancy, once I have surgery, and start chemo hopefully things will get going , and I can keep this stupid disease by the road side. I have surgery hopefully by the end of the month, and we will see how the next nine months play out!
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  • CaroHi
    CaroHi Member Posts: 9
    edited August 2011

    Hi, I am sorry to hear your dx. I just wanted to let you know that a little more than a year ago I was in your same situation. I had surgery first in week 16 of my pregnancy and started chemo in week 20. I had 4 rounds of AC every 3 weeks, then delivered my baby at week 34 (perfectly healthy girl!) and then finished my treatment with taxol, herceptin and radiation. I never felt sick, just a little tired but I think it was more due to  the pregnancy than the chemo. My baby gave me the strenght I needed to go through this. She is the best thing that happened to me, and now, a year after this rough times, she keeps me so busy that I forget what I just recently went through. Please let me know if I can help you. I am sure you and your baby will be fine!

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  • nikola
    nikola Member Posts: 466
    edited August 2011

    Hi,

    I just wanted to let you know that chemo should be started within 12 weeks from surgery date. You are now almost two months pregnant and even if you have surgery within next two weeks you have another 12 weeks after surgery to start with chemo and that would put you easily to third trimester.

    Good luck.

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  • Hopingforthebest33
    Hopingforthebest33 Member Posts: 49
    edited August 2011

    Thanks again for your support guys! Meet with the obstretrian ( baby doctor) probably spelled that wrong lol. He seems really positive and very nice. He says he sees no problem with me starting chemo at 15 weeks , my surgery hopefully will be scheduled at the end of the month , and after I recover from surgery I will be starting chemo. Thanks again for all your insight!

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  • Yanyan
    Yanyan Member Posts: 38
    edited August 2011

    Hi! Seems like you already made the decision to continue pregnancy. Best wishes to you !!

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  • Pure
    Pure Member Posts: 1,796
    edited August 2011

    humm not sure about 12 weeks from surgery... I started chemo 3 weeks after surgery. I wanted to start so I could finish..I wanted to also start attacking the cancer. I had very little down time from the surgery..Maybe 5-6 days max.

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  • nikola
    nikola Member Posts: 466
    edited August 2011

    My surgery was May 4 and first chemo was July 29. I was waiting for her2 results as at first they were inconclusive.

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  • Hopingforthebest33
    Hopingforthebest33 Member Posts: 49
    edited August 2011

    Pure- Im 7 weeks now, so by the end of the monthwhen I have my surgery  I will be 11 weeks, and then they want me to recover for I think they said 4 weeks, then start chemo. My mom also had to wait a month after surgery to start treatment, must be a manitoba thing!

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  • Pure
    Pure Member Posts: 1,796
    edited August 2011

    No that is pretty normal 4 weeks..I just would hate to see you wait 12 weeks as someone noted above:) I did it 3 weeks but I am super over the top type A agressive:) lol And I healed very quickly and my numbers looked good..All those things come into play:)!

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  • PlantLover
    PlantLover Member Posts: 622
    edited August 2011

    Hoping - I don't have any advice but just wanted to tell you you're in my thoughts! 

    I can't imagine how difficult it would be to get a Stage III diagnosis and start the fight for your life while having another life growing inside of you. 

    Jen & you are very strong women and have my admiration!

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  • sungold
    sungold Member Posts: 3
    edited September 2011

    I saw your post tonight and decided to write for the first time. I was diagnosed with breast cancer at 11 weeks pregnant July '10. My husband and I have a very healthy, almost 8 month old boy now and I'm feeling great.

    I had my lumpectomy and some nodes removed in August '10 and then started with Chemo in mid September (four treatments, spaced three weeks apart). I got about three weeks or so post treatment to hang out and then baby was born early to mid January. 

    When you're first diagnosed it is incredibly hard (I also read too much and it freaked me out, information overload is an understatement). but if there is anything I can help you with, don't hesitate to write. I'd be happy to answer any questions small or large.

     Sounds like you're making good progress and you have a plan forming which is key. It really helps to take things/make decisions one at a time and just realize you don't have to make all the decisions at once. Somehow I found that made it all possible.

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  • kimf
    kimf Member Posts: 334
    edited September 2011

    Hoping, I just saw your post and wanted to send my very best wishes to you and your baby! Good luck with your surgery and treatments. I just know your baby will be fine. Jen did great and it sounds like sungold did as well. I know there have been a few others over the years who have posted who were pregnant during treatment as well and  if my memory serves me, everyone had very healthy babies. So go get em girly! And take good care of yourself! All the best!

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  • Hopingforthebest33
    Hopingforthebest33 Member Posts: 49
    edited September 2011

    Thanks guys I appreciate all the support, it makes it not so lonely!

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  • Pure
    Pure Member Posts: 1,796
    edited September 2011

    Hope your doing well:) We are all here for you!

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  • Hopingforthebest33
    Hopingforthebest33 Member Posts: 49
    edited September 2011

    Doing well, heading in for surgery on sept 14th. Pretty scared , I was suppose to have it at the end of the month, but I guess because of the circumstances she wants me in right away.Wish me luck!

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  • Yanyan
    Yanyan Member Posts: 38
    edited September 2011

    Dear Hopingforthebest33, wish you good luck on your surgery. I am sure you will be fine. It may sound silly but for me, when they put a warm towel (blanket ) on me while getting ready for the surgery, it felt pretty cozy. When i woke up the surgery was over. You will be fine....A lot of us did it here. you can do it :)

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  • sungold
    sungold Member Posts: 3
    edited September 2011

    Hi Hoping, we're sending you good vibes! The surgery will be over before you know it. In the meantime, just do what you can to stay focused on everyday life and things that keep you busy and happy (for me it was work and family/friends). The day of surgery you'll be nervous, but it will be really nice to have it behind you. I know I was anxious to have my first surgery. I wanted to get the cancer out, learn more about it and get things (treatment) rolling. We'll be thinking of you this week.

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  • lisa_loves_alice
    lisa_loves_alice Member Posts: 33
    edited September 2011

    Hoping,

    I am so freaking sorry that you find yourself in this situation.  My daughter Alice (6 months old now) and I are also survivors.   I was diagnosed last August when I was 12 weeks pregnant with her, my first baby.

    What kind of surgery are you having?  My surgeon decided to do a lumpectomy and sentinal node biopsy because it was a shorter surgery.  I elected to do radiation, but I could have instead done a mastectomy after the baby was born.  I do know of people who had mastecomies while pregnant too.

    I my surgery when I was 15 weeks pregnant.  After I assured them like a million times that I understood nothing could be done to help the baby at that stage, my surgical team agreed to send a nurse with a doppler so I could hear the baby's heart beat after surgery.  If they will do this for you, it was such a reassurance.  But you might be so early in your pregnancy that they might not hear the heartbeat even if everything is okay.

    Are you with a high-risk OB practice?  I switched to a maternal fetal medicine practice when I was diagnosed and they were really great -- lots of monitoring but I still had an amazingly supportive, unmedicated, vaginal childbirth.

    I started chemo -- adriamycin and cytoxin (AC) -- at 20 weeks pregnant, doing four cycles every three weeks. I finished AC when I was 32 weeks.

    I then made the decision to stop treatment, get my baby to term, and I delivered a happy, healthy, perfect baby girl on March 13. I started Taxol when she was 3 weeks old -- 12 weekly with Herceptin.  I started daily radiation sometime around her four month birthday.

    It has been a hell of a year but we are all doing fine and I wouldn't change a thing.

    You can contact me ANYTIME with questions.  Just PM me here or you can email me pete1273 [at] gmail.

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  • Hopingforthebest33
    Hopingforthebest33 Member Posts: 49
    edited September 2011

    Lisa - who did you have to reassure a million times?

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  • lisa_loves_alice
    lisa_loves_alice Member Posts: 33
    edited September 2011

    Actually, it was probably more like twice, but I just emphasized that I understood that the baby wouldn't be viable yet if anything were wrong, so I knew there was nothing anyone could do to save the baby if we didn't hear a heartbeat.  But I said it would just make me feel a lot better to hear the hearbeat after surgery.

    How many weeks will you be for your surgery?

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  • jennyboog
    jennyboog Member Posts: 1,322
    edited September 2011

    @hoping....Thinking of you tomorrow, I hope all goes well.  Hugs and prayers going your way.

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  • lisa_loves_alice
    lisa_loves_alice Member Posts: 33
    edited September 2011

    hoping, me too -- let us know if you need anything.

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  • tuffgirl
    tuffgirl Member Posts: 63
    edited September 2011
    hi there I remebered this thread - Starting Chemo late good luck
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