New TNBC Start Chemo 9/8/11 need good thoughts

I'm so glad to find you all here! I feel blessed to have been able to find a place that I can come to and share what is going on with me and to get to know other TNBC survivors and make new friends.   

Hello there, My name is Tammy and I'm in real need to talk to other TNBC survivors.  I was diagnosed July 15, 2011 with breast cancer, but on July 27, 2011 I was diagnosed with TNBC. Prior to this date I had a mammogram on June 2, 2011 that didn't look that suspicious to the radiologist but to be sure he sent me in for a biopsy. My surgeon (who I have seen numerous times before) scheduled it for me.  I was admitted to outpatient care and wheeled into the OR with no worries what so ever on my mind! I was released and sent home with no details and felt good about everything.  It never dawned on me that I had an incision instead of something smaller. I just thought that's what it was supposed to look like and never thought I had a lumpectomy instead of a minor biopsy. We won't go there!...not happy the surgeon left that tidbit out of the conversation with my husband. During the entire wait for my post-op appointment I never had a clue. I went to see my surgeon by myself believing that I would be sent home after being told, "it was negative everything looks good, keep up with your mammograms." Instead I was asked if I had brought my husband Paul with me, and of course I knew immediately something was terribly wrong.  I was recommended to have my left breast removed and I chose to have the right one removed as well.  My double mastectomy was on August 5, 2011 and it went very well. I was surprised at how well I felt and how well my left arm felt after the lymph nodes were removed.  I asked the surgeon post-surgery about that and he said that he had a new tool that allowed him to save the nerves.  I do have some numbness but not a lot.  I feel quite blessed! 

The biopsy report with the TNBC was given to me on July 27, 2011 and after doing much reading beforehand I knew that I was really interested in my er, pr, her2 markers. The doctor read the markers because I asked him to and after hearing it,  I told him right away that I was triple negative. I left with my husband and him not knowing anything about the markers and what that all meant until we got in the car and I told him. Once I got home I broke down. I thought for sure I wasn't going to be able to get out of that dark hole I felt I was in but now I try and think positive thoughts.       

Please anybody out there reading this I really need some encouragement from you  This is really tough!!!  I do not have much at all of an extended family on my side or my husbands side to rally around me, I feel quite alone.  We have 3 son's (27, 27, 17) who I adore but they do not know what to do or say...so they are choosing to say nothing at all.  Since July 16th the day after diagnosis I got on the phone and reached out to a local support group and thank God for that. Somehow I knew that this was too big for me and that I cannot do this alone. I couldn't believe how loving and supportive other breast cancer survivors were and stil are to me. They are the ones that have reached out to me the most and who are the ones picking me up the most right now.  

I start my chemo treatment tomorrow at 10am and I'm very scared!!!  I go today for my teaching class at 2pm.  I've read a lot but I know it doesn't compare to the real thing I'm afraid.  Is there anyone who would like to be a chemo buddy with me that is starting their 1st chemo very soon?  I look forward to reading your replies and hearing from you.  

Invasive Ductal Carcinoma, Stage 1, No Positive Lymph Nodes, Mammogram: June 2, 2011, Diagnosed Breast Cancer: July 15, 2011, Diagnosed TNBC: July 27,2011, Double Mastectomy: August 5, 2011, Start Chemo: September 8, 2011. Treatment: 4 rounds of AC and 12 rounds of T.