I just found out I need chemo and terrified!

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OMGOMG I am so scared! I just got diagnosed in July, had my lumpectomy and node biopsy and was node negative.  Surgeon and Radiologist "thought" I would only need radiation as follow up, but my Onco test came back at 28 and now I need chemo too.  Oncologist gave me a paper with the type I will be getting, it's Taxotere and Cytoxin 4x over 10 weeks. I am soooooo afraid of chemo, my mother had lung and kidney cancer and her chemo was a total nightmare (it was a much different kind I know).  I'm freaking out about putting so much poison in my body, and of course losing my hair, and feeling like crap. And what's this about some people's hair never growing back??????

 Also, I teach Kindergarten and of course this falls right at the beginning of school so do I work? Do I stay home? I don't know what to do.  Please please someone tell me it will be ok!  Iknow with such a high Onco number I have to get it, but I'm so scared!

Comments

  • Chrys23
    Chrys23 Member Posts: 291
    edited August 2011

    Hi Jersey!

    I just happened to see your post -- I'm in Jersey, central area.

    Well, I just started chemo last Wednesday on Taxotere and Cytoxin. My treatment will be 4x - each 3 weeks apart. My 2nd infusion is August 31st.  My oncotype score was 16, but I had a positive lymph node, so I knew I would do chemo anyway.  I had a lumpectomy at the beginning of June and then a re-excision July 21st to get clear margins (which were clear!)

    I am not working right now; will probably go back on Monday for a week and a 1/2 until my next chemo.  I am taking off at each infusion in the event of side effects. I work for a major Ivy League University and am an administrator, so as you can imagine, with the start of the school semester I am freaking out myself. I will only work when I can and work will have to deal.

    I know you are very scared -- it is scary. I've already chopped my hair down and have several wigs ready. My sister cut her hair almost bald in support of me.

    All you can do is take one day at a time -- everyone reacts differently to Chemo. Some people are ok and just fatigued and others do have side effects. I can tell you for me, I had a TON of body/muscle aches/weakness over the last two days. I'm eating normally, but my mouth, tongue and teeth feel "weird" and my taste buds are almost gone. No nausea....Today is day 8 after chemo and I'm feeling a little better. But again, you may be ok; you will just have to see. 

    There is a good thread on this board called "Tips for Getting Through Chemotherapy" under the Chemotherapy topic forum (http://community.breastcancer.org/forum/69/topic/478386?page=24#idx_709).  It may be helpful for you to browse through the tips to get an idea of what to expect.

    Please PM me if you would like -- I know what it's like to be scared and just terrified of all of this.

    Hugs,

    Chrys

  • mommichelle
    mommichelle Member Posts: 191
    edited August 2011

    Jersey -

    It will be alright.  Take a deep breath.  I know how terrifying the thought of chemo is.  I didn't need to do it, but choose to because I did not want to have any regrets and I wanted the herceptin!  It is doable.  I had a 3 and 5 year old when I was going through it (they are 4 and 6 now).  There was usually 1 day during each cycle where I was exhausted, but that was about the worst.  The hair thing was hard (I have always had long hair) but my kids were there when my husband shaved it and I let them draw on my head for Halloween (they loved it).  The time goes so quickly and before you know it, you will have hair growing back.  It will be all right.

    I did work through chemo although I only work half weeks normally.  I scheduled chemo for Thursdays and Sunday was my crash day.  Back to work Monday.  If you want to PM me feel free.  You will get through it!  I joined the August 2010 chemo thread...soooooo helpful!  There were three other ladies that started chemo the same day as me.  How nice to have someone to talk to, who know EXACTLY how you are feeling.  I highly recommend that!

    Hugs,

    Michelle

  • ebann
    ebann Member Posts: 3,026
    edited August 2011

    Hi Jersey,

    I am doing Taxotere/Carboplatin but have done Cytoxin too. The  girls are right everyone responds differently. From what you saw of your mom is scary and hard to imagine that your will turn out better. My mom is a colon cancer survivor from 30  years ago. She was so scared and terrified for us both. This is my 3rd dx not thrilled. I do chemo every Wed for 3 weeks then a week off. So happy for that week. I have felt tired, weak, nausea, diarrhea metal taste in my mouth and sores. I recommend to chew on ice while you are in chemo. If you do get mouth sores then ask for a prescription of Miracle Wash. It is great stuff. Does not taste all that great though it works. My naturopath told me to get ginger capsules and that really made a big difference. Right now the hardest thing for me is taking steroids cause I become so bloated and feet are swollen. You constantly eating cause of the steroids. I am more concerned about gaining weight since I have lost 57 lbs than losing my hair for the 3rd time. I just rock it bald cause it is so hot to wear a wig here and I break out in a heat rash and get sores. My daughter recommending putting baby powder on my head before I put on the wig and that actually helped. As far as hair goes my friend told me it is overrated and I got to thinking she is right. It is not easy to go through though. I use to color, style it all the time. It defined me. My daughter is a hairstyles to so I cannot go to her to support her career she just began. That just breaks my heart. I would be a great customer. There is a thread on here about HAIR, HAIR, HAIR...that might be a good source of information for you. Hold your head up high and know you will fight this. You can do this it is doable. Bring a magazine, book, pad of paper, pen or something to do while you are sitting there bored in the chair. I find it boring so I bring something. Hope I did not blabber that much. Take care and many blessings.

  • ANA_424
    ANA_424 Member Posts: 109
    edited August 2011

    There are so many helpful people and threads with lots of info on this site! I'm on TC X 4 and about to have my third treatment tomorrow. I was scared, too, but it has been easier than I thought it would. There are so many meds and ways to deal with side effects - and everyone reacts differently.

    Please go to the section of this site on Chemo and look for the threads related to Taxotere and Cytoxan in previous months. There are threads for those who started in May, June, July. Reading through some of those gave me a much better idea of what to expect and how to prepare. You can also pose questions to those ladies. It sounds like it would be especially helpful if you asked about teaching. I work full time and have missed very little work, but being around small children when your WBCs are low might be an additional concern.

    You can do this. You will be ok. There is tons of support on these boards and some great ladies who will have lots of advice and information for you. Hugs to you.

  • Jerseylicious
    Jerseylicious Member Posts: 44
    edited August 2011

    Thank you soo much to you all for responding! What a Godsend this website is.  Well it's the end of the day and my brain is beginning to start to accept the chemo thing. I think I was just so shocked bc 2 of my doctors thought for sure I wouldn't need it.  But, like the Oncologist said yesterday, people like me are the reason the Onco test was developed:)  So I guess I should be glad I'm taking every precaution and doing everything possible to prevent a reoccurance.

    I will definately follow your advice and get on those threads that you all mentioned.   Hugs to all of you and thank u

  • Karen09
    Karen09 Member Posts: 320
    edited August 2011

    You will get through this.  I can't say it will be easy but just tell your doctors about your side effects and they will change your medications if they need to.  I was terrified before I started chemo too but I just kept thinking about it going through my body and getting any of those little bastard cancer cells and killing them.  That helped!  I hope it helps you too!

  • Granuaile
    Granuaile Member Posts: 113
    edited August 2011

    I have to admit that I was one of those people who felt lucky that I qualified for chemo. I'd read of so many who didn't need chemo at earlier stages and then recurred, and I (whether it makes sense or not) felt that I wanted to kill as many cancer cells as possible. I have my final Taxol/Herceptin next Friday. Hooray! Started off on 4 cycles, 2 weeks apart, of Adriamycin & Cytoxan. I found the effects cumulative, but that the first week was the worst. I was jittery, felt ill, and had to take breaks to sleep. Nausea meds worked well. I didn't have much of an appetite, though. I worked in a fast-paced environment - an Athletics Office in a private school- and everyone was so helpful. I did leave early a couple of times, not often. Worked all the way to the end of the school year. I am taking next year off though, as rads will fall every school day in Oct & some of November and would just take too much of a chunk of time during the fall season. After that I'll see. 

    I really wish you the best. You'll be surprised how quickly the time will pass. You'll have a great chemo nurse and you'll be well-taken care of. Just remember, you're doing everything you can to live a long happy life with your family & friends! 

  • mdg
    mdg Member Posts: 3,571
    edited August 2011

    I felt the same way.  I was stage 1 and thought maybe I would not need chemo but it was really best for me.  My son just turned 5 in July and I finished chemo in May.  I also did TC x4.  It was very doable for me.  I did use cold caps to keep my hair during chemo.  It is much thinner than my pre chemo hair, but it is a full head of hair.  People that don't know me would have no idea I did chemo.  My family an friends say they can't tell much of a difference in my hair but I know it is super thin compared to my nice pre chemo hair.  Oh well...it worked for me.  My son never had to see me bald or know about chemo.  As far as TC - I had minimal side effects.  I exercised 5 days a week for an hour a day through all of chemo - I did not miss one workout.  I took care of my family  - got my son off to preschool every morning just like normal. You can do this.  Hugs!

  • Lowrider54
    Lowrider54 Member Posts: 2,721
    edited August 2011

    You can do it!  I worked all through 8 months of my chemo.  I had a choice in my chemo and elected to do the CMF that increased the chance I wouldn't lose all my hair.  I had to do it for longer and I made sure that I did it Friday's in the am as it was onboarded with steriods so I could get through Friday and Saturday was still kinda up so I would cook for the week and Sunday was a total flop on the sofa to get ready for work on Monday. 

    I see you have no node involvement - I did but rolled the dice on a 2% less chance of survival and a 30% chance I wouldn't lose my hair by selecting the CMF.  I made it 10 1/2 years cancer free and it has come back - for the past two years, it has been bone only and treating with antihormonals.   It has just done a very odd thing and I am now looking at chemo.  It has mutated and set up shop in my abdominal wall - a very unusual place - still not in any organs so we are going to hit it with 6 rounds of Avastin and Abraxane and I will using the cold cap to attempt to prevent hair loss.  My hair is very long and even though I cut it quite a bit the first time around - it thinned but it stayed so I am hoping to be able to repeat it.

    There are so many great folks on here - we are all here to help you get through it - the first time is the worst but it is very doable and it can be adjusted if you have issues - you will get through it and have a wonderful life again.  Feel free to post any issues you are having - we have all been through something and found a remedy of sorts - everyone is different so some things may not work but there will be so many helpful tips...I am sure you will find something that can help with side effects.

    Hugs to you and wish you the best!

    LowRider

  • D4Hope
    D4Hope Member Posts: 352
    edited August 2011

    I know it is scary. My first ONC really messed up and did not send out my onco test so I decided to do Chemo. When he finally did get my test in(after I found another onc) it was a score of 20. I was considered intermiadiate risk and was glad i did do the chemo. I had adriamycin and Cytoxin. They loaded me up with anti nausea meds before treatment and it wasn't so bad. I had some pills to take at home in case of nausea as well. I was extra tired. Remember to drink lot's of fluids during and after treatment it helps. Good luck and hope chemo isn't too bad for you.

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