Jen vs. BC

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jennyboog
jennyboog Member Posts: 1,322
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer

I hate this freakin' disease, it has taken so much from me and still does at times, it takes my mind to that dark place everytime I have an ache and pain.  It took my ER, my ovaries, my breast so I don't feel much like a woman anymore.  It takes me away to do dr's appointments and have test done.  It took the way I was physically and did a number on my body/mind with all the drugs, rads and chemo's.  It took away friends that had BC too. 

But it didn't take today....today I saw my baby girl walk into her kindergarten room, put away her backpack and find her seat.  I picked her up and listened as she told me with so much excitement about her day.  A year ago I didn't think I'd be here to see it happen.  For those keeping score, BC is still up on me but I'm gaining on it.   Keep up the fight everyone!

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Comments

  • littletower
    littletower Member Posts: 333
    edited August 2011

    Great story Jen, and what a wonderful moment. Congratulations. I'll bet her college graduation will be just as moving:)

  • kfinnigan
    kfinnigan Member Posts: 1,729
    edited August 2011

    Awwww love the visual!!  Thanks and hugs!

  • JacquelineG
    JacquelineG Member Posts: 282
    edited August 2011

    Hey Jenny, my son Patrick just started Kindergarten last Monday and I know exactly how you feel.... we will both be there for their graduation, keep the faith :-)

    :-)

    jackie

  • SharonMH
    SharonMH Member Posts: 353
    edited August 2011

    Hi,  Our babies sure do grow fast.  I bet you were so proud of her. We will not let BC win.  SharonH

  • KSteve
    KSteve Member Posts: 486
    edited August 2011

    Gave me goosebumps!  Thanks for sharing!!

  • elmcity69
    elmcity69 Member Posts: 998
    edited August 2011

    awesome!! so happy for you. so glad you savored that moment - here's to thousands and thousands more.

    xo

    j

  • ruffy
    ruffy Member Posts: 141
    edited August 2011

    I'm getting ready for my little girl to start in two weeks.You have a wonderful, realistic, positive outlook, thanks so much for sharing that. You put a big smile on my face :)

  • kathleen1966
    kathleen1966 Member Posts: 793
    edited August 2011

    Your avatar suits you soo well! Great for you!  I walked my youngest son to kindergarden last year with mastectomy drains stuffed in my bra!  Am happy to still be here to walk both of them to school next week!

  • americanpinay
    americanpinay Member Posts: 338
    edited August 2011

    So happy for you Jen! Thanks for sharing. Hugs to you and your little girl. Take care.

  • caaclark
    caaclark Member Posts: 936
    edited August 2011

    I did the same thing with my kindergartener 5 yrs. ago-right after I finished treatment.  Great feeling, isn't it?!!!

  • snicklefritz
    snicklefritz Member Posts: 66
    edited August 2011

    Lovely post. your little girl has and will inspire you to move forward each day. I know my children have done this for me.

  • solange49
    solange49 Member Posts: 102
    edited August 2011

    Great post Jen! I haven't posted very much but when I posted here for the first time...you were one of the women that greeted me warmly and made me feel welcome. I appreciate that so much more than words can say. We're going to beat this damn disease and I just know you'll be there for your little girl when she becomes a woman.



    Hugs,



    Diana

  • julie26
    julie26 Member Posts: 101
    edited August 2011

    I can so relate to what you are saying and feeling. I was first diagnosed 10 years ago. My son had just finished 1st grade. I never thought I'd see him grow up or graduate from High School. He was 10 years old the 2nd time I was diagnosed. I started one of those picture frames where you put their school pictures in it around in a circle starting with Kindergarten then in the middle you put the larger graduation picture (I think it's called a picture wheel). I was diagnosed for a 3rd time (Stage IV) 2 years ago. I never thought I'd be here to put his graduation picture in that frame.  Well, my son is now 17 and a Senior. I took him on Monday to get his Senior Portraits taken.  I just reviewed the proofs online right before I logged on here. I was in tears (of joy of course!!!)  I hope that this offers you some encouragement and hope. 

  • pejkug3
    pejkug3 Member Posts: 902
    edited August 2011

    I love to read posts like this!

    My baby girl (firstborn of 5) will be cheering at her first High School Football game this Friday.  :)  I couldn't be prouder.

    And my *babies* are first graders this year - both were trying to climb in my lap at dinner to tell me about their day.

  • cmdczc
    cmdczc Member Posts: 75
    edited August 2011

    All of you are so inspiring...I feel better just knowing you all are here!!!  I love your stories!

  • faithfulheart
    faithfulheart Member Posts: 544
    edited August 2011

    Ohh Jenny Girl........................................Pulling on the heart strings!!!!  last year same time I walked my son into his kindergarden class for the first time, I had just ended treatment. This year he goes to 1st grade and my daughter 5th. He was in preschool  and she was in third at the time of my dx. Thank you for sharing with us what will  be many events you  tell us about,  as the years roll on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE WILL RAISE ARE CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I proclaim that for us all,

    thats are prayer!!! So touching, I love it!! Thank you for sharing your special day.

    Love,

    steph

  • bejuce
    bejuce Member Posts: 97
    edited August 2011

    Hi Jen!



    My son just started kindergarten on Tuesday and I too was soooooo happy to see him walk into his classroom all proud and confident. I had a battery of tests that day (end of a vaccine trial) and was bummed when I couldn't change my appt time to be there for his pick-up. But, hey, my blood work, echo, EKG, and chest x-ray were all normal, so I had even more reasons to celebrate. Every day that we are here brings us joy.



    Thank you all for your beautiful stories!

  • Kathryn_32
    Kathryn_32 Member Posts: 7
    edited August 2011

    Jen...

    Thanks for posting this. My oldes, Cyrus was 2 when I was diagnosed. He starts Kinder on the 6th. I blubbered all through registration. I knew no one in that room could possibly know how I felt. I felt like we were achieving the impossible dream, he and I. And it makes me believe I might have a chance to be there one day when the youngest, who was 1 at dx, graduates. That's my dream now. 

  • pejkug3
    pejkug3 Member Posts: 902
    edited August 2011

    Aw, you guys are *so* reading my mind tonight!

    I was diagnosed in January and I immediately starting praying that I would see my little boys (who were in kindergarten) graduate.

    Now I pray that I get to see grandkids and weddings and such.  ;)

    It's so nice to know that I'm not alone. 

    WE WILL SEE OUR BABIES GROW UP!!

  • nurseronda10
    nurseronda10 Member Posts: 209
    edited August 2011

    I am crying happy tears as I read all of these posts.  Us mothers all have the same wish and that is to see our kids grow up.  It has been one year since I heard the words "you have breast cancer."  My ongoing prayer has been to let me be around to see my daughter graduate from high school which will be in 2013.  I know life will never be as it use to, care free and happy go lucky.

    Jennyboog, it seems that my mind also goes to those dark places with every little twinge of pain and it drives me crazy that I cannot have one day without a cancer thought.  

     AND YES, WE WILL SEE OUR KIDS GRADUATE FROM COLLEGE, GET MARRIED, AND SEE OUR GRANDCHILDREN!!

  • bak94
    bak94 Member Posts: 1,846
    edited August 2011

    Oh no. I think I just accidently reported a post! I was reading from my phone and was scrolling and hit it! I hope it didn't go through as I hit the back button. I don't even know whose post it was. So sorrry.

  • Outfield
    Outfield Member Posts: 1,109
    edited August 2011

    Wow, so many moms of young kids.  My daughter started pre-K last week, my son is a year younger.  Kindergarten seems SO old to me.  But 4 seems pretty old right now too.  They both seem older than even a few weeks ago.  And yes, of course, they were the first thing I thought of when I was diagnosed (6/18/20100 and they are the reason I've put myself through all of this.  I have had so many complications of treatment, some expected like the losing the breasts and the crashing menopause, some my own specific bad luck.  But I don't regret anything I've done - even if it's hurt me badly - if it has increased my chances of being around to see my kids leave the nest. 

  • laura347
    laura347 Member Posts: 99
    edited August 2011

    I LOVE your post JennyBoog....Keep on fightin girlfriend...AWESOME! l

    Love ya Sista, Laura

  • laura347
    laura347 Member Posts: 99
    edited August 2011

    I LOVE your post JennyBoog....Keep on fightin girlfriend...AWESOME! l

    Love ya Sista, Laura

  • jennyboog
    jennyboog Member Posts: 1,322
    edited August 2011

    Thanks everyone....I didn't realize there were so many of us with small children.  I know your child starting kindergarten is a special time for all mom's but I think when you've been through all we have it makes it extra special and we look at it different.  My prayers are that we all are here to see many more special moments with our children.  Love ya'll.

  • jbagley
    jbagley Member Posts: 102
    edited August 2011

    Hey, everyone. I too have 2 young children. I have a 9 yr old girl going into 4th grade and then a 3 yr old in prepreschool/daycare. I am so proud of my daughter, she has so tremendously helped me this summer. How bad is it when you 9 yr old daughter has to help put you underwear and jammy pants on, and having your monthly cycle. It sucks. This was right after the mastectomy. I couldn't move much.



    She is my very special girl and love her with all the love in the world. Abigail, is special!



    It doesnt get easier during treatments, I want to play and take my kids outside to play, but sometimes, I just can't. The fatigue is overwhelming. My husband has been great and very supportive, but I have to get through these side effects.



    Jennifer. ;$)

  • solange49
    solange49 Member Posts: 102
    edited August 2011

    Hi Jennifer. That's wonderful that your daughter was able to help you. She sounds like a special little girl! I can definitely relate to the fatigue. It's the worst side effect hands down in my opinion. I have two more chemos to go...then will have my mastectomy and rad. I pray for the day that I get my energy back.



    Diana

  • geewhiz
    geewhiz Member Posts: 1,439
    edited August 2011

    Jenny that is so great!! I have a 8, 12 and 15 year old. I want to be here for all the graduations and weddings for them too!! It's what drives me. Sometimes I want to grab that cold beer, or eat that cupcake, or not exercise or throw the tamoxifen bottle in the trash....but I don't , because I want to know in my heart I am doing everything in my absolute power to be here for it all!!

  • yellowfarmhouse
    yellowfarmhouse Member Posts: 279
    edited August 2011

    Your post touched my heart.  I have cried so many tears at my kids "firsts."  They are ever so much more special for those of us who will never take such things for granted.  When I was very sick almost 7 years ago, my kids were age 3-10 and our youngest had only been in our home for abour 1.5 years as we had adopted her from China.  Now our kids are 10-18.  Though I'm not above complained about a teen's messy room or crumbs on the counter, I think that overall I cherish the kids and am thankful for every extra minute I've been allowed to have with them.  I am now a teacher as well and try to give my best to my students... life can be so hard that if we can lighten someone's load or provide comfort or just make someone smile... it's awesome.  Thanks for sharing your story and giving me another opportunity to give thanks.

    Wendy

  • oaktownmom
    oaktownmom Member Posts: 114
    edited August 2011

    My son (my second of three kids) starts kindergarten tomorrow!  I'm so grateful that I'll be there to walk him into class.  Then back to the chemo chair on Tuesday morning.  Here's to kicking cancer in the butt so we can watch our kids grow up!

     Lucy

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