Not another "Old Lady" Breast Cancer Story

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shelbyh
shelbyh Member Posts: 2
edited June 2014 in Young With Breast Cancer

I thank God for the many breast cancer survivors, and pray that I will be one, also.

This may sound callous or spiteful, but I'm tired of hearing "old lady" breast cancer stories.  I appreciate the kind words and encouragement that friends and co-workers share, but STOP COMPARING ME TO AN OLD LADY!  Am I alone in this? 

 I received confirmation five days ago of an Invasive Ductal Breast Cancer Diagnosis.  I'm 38 years old, married, with three children, ages 14, 9 and 4.  Waiting for remaining pathology results, MRI scheduled for tomorrow and doctor's appointment Tuesday afternoon.  There is no history of cancer in my family, no risk factors, breast-fed all three of children.

Praises that there are so many survivors, but I'm having a hard time with all of the comparisons to 60, 70 or 80 year old aunts, mothers, neighbors, etc...

 Please tell me that I'm not being too harsh about this...how do you feel?

 Shelby

www.tatasfornow.blogspot.com

 

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  • sanbar8771
    sanbar8771 Member Posts: 281
    edited August 2011

    Dont feel upset about this. I was 33 years old when diagnosed and I get frusturated when I hear my Mother tell me.. well,"she has a friend who has been cancer-free for blah blah years"  I don't have any children and at this point I don't think I can have them. I have barely started my life. These older ladies have lived a long life... had kids, and are starting retirement.  I feel your frustration but all we can do is try and think positive. We are going to be fine. We are young and our bodies can handle more.  Be thankful you have a lovely family. You are so blessed.

    Julie

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  • beacon800
    beacon800 Member Posts: 922
    edited August 2011
    So sorry you are going through this.  It is a disorienting thing and a scary time.  I think in the old days, they did not have the sensitive diagnostic equipment they have now and more ladies were diagnosed at older ages.  Now they encourage digital mammo, self exams etc and so many young women are being found with breast cancer.  You are not alone!!!  I live near San Francisco, CA where breast cancer is so common that it scares me.  I have met many young ladies, some in the 20s who have the diagnosis.  I do not consider it a disease of older women whatsoever!   The only thing I can say is that this disease is treatable and you will get through even though it sucks.
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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2011

    My mom had a hard time understanding why I chose to have a mastecomy because her friend had just a lumpectomy and is doing fine....well, her friend was in her 60's when diagnosed..I was 43!  Many people don't realize that onc's consider it much more "serious" when you are under 50 and premenopausal.

    The other problem , I think, is that most people do not realize/understand that there are SO many different types of breast cancer (hormonal status, HER2, lobular, ductal, inflammatory, grades, Ki67 rate, stage, blah, blah blah) and everybody's treatment is more indiviualized now.  So when somebody says.. "oh my friend refused Tamoxifen because....." .. Well.. was she highly ER+ like me??  Or ones that are adamant against chemo because so and so didn't do it and she's fine.  Well maybe so and so wasn't triple negative, maybe so and so didn't have positive lymph nodes.  But I can't fault them.  Before I was diagnosed, I knew diddly squat about ER status and thought "grade" was the same thing as "stage".   It's been 10 months since my diagnosis and I feel like a walking BC encyclopedia now! Undecided  

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2011
    Oops!  Sorry! Just saw this thread is for women under 40!  I'm too elderly to be here! Tongue out
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  • hope2011
    hope2011 Member Posts: 37
    edited August 2011

    I went to 2 doctor appointments last week at different doctor offices.  As I was sitting on the exam table waiting for the doctor to come in, I glanced over to the pile of magazines and what was on top?????  AARP!  Both times!!!!  As a 30 something year old single mom with a preschooler, it's just another reminder that I never thought I would be dealing with cancer at this point in my life. 

    I think others are trying to relate when they hear I have BC.  Since the only people they know who have had it are decades older, I became one of that group.  I guess before my diagnosis, I didn't know anyone this young with BC either.  But, don't feel bad about how you feel.  There are more important things to stress about. 

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  • crusader1
    crusader1 Member Posts: 1,222
    edited August 2011

    Ladies,

    Just wanted to tell all you young ladies that I had chemo two  years ago and met a lovely bunch of women on this board who supported each other on a regular basis. Well two years out of treatment we have had two babies born from woemn on our board and both were nursed by their one breasted women who concieved them  after their chemo.

    This is not an easy thing to get through but you will do it.

    Hugs,

    Francine

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