August 2011 rads

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  • ann329
    ann329 Member Posts: 38
    edited August 2011

    Finally chiming in with my two cents after reading and finding much strength from these boards.  You have all been a great comfort.

     My story started in April of this year when I found my lump during a self exam.  Long story short, a tiny 4mm mucinous was found with a <1 cm DCIS.  Lymph nodes clean.  Highly ER/PR + (>90%) and HER2-.  No chemo, but like you ladies started rads in August - the 9th.  Just got home from 6 of 33. 

    I can completely relate to Toni S post from a little bit ago - I had the same exact experience last week when I layed under that rads machine the first time.  So far so good though.  No skin changes yet, but I do feel a bit tired.  Still working and have to drive 45 minutes each way to rads appt, so that isn't helping - but still lucky its as close as it is (I'm in a pretty rural area).

    Have a GOOD day all you lovely ladies!!!

     *hugs*

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  • Merilee
    Merilee Member Posts: 3,047
    edited August 2011

    Toni and Ann

    Hang in there. We all have our days that we feel like we are loosing it. I know it is part of the process and it sucks when it hits you. Just know you are not alone and there is a wonderful group of us all doing this together. It helps me to know that.

    Hugs

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  • bb226
    bb226 Member Posts: 102
    edited August 2011

    Toni and Ann just for your information I lost it today also. The machine broke down and my doctor refuses to let me use one of the other 2. After a heated discussion, my appt has been moved back an hour. I am being done on the other machine but I had to consent to more xrays. I had xrays Friday, Monday and now today. The alternative is to extend my treatment through a weekend and a Monday. I told the RO I couldn't mentally handle that. She didn't see a problem with extending my treatment date. Sorry I did. You know how they dandle that end date and you plot along going everyday and then the machine breaks down.

    Thanks everyone for listening. I am just relating this story to show that we all are having issues at times. And it is normal.

    Hopefully #17 of 25 tonight.

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  • Elizabeth1889
    Elizabeth1889 Member Posts: 1,036
    edited August 2011

    Toni and Ann:  I feel the same way you do.  I felt optimistic through surgery and chemo thinking a was a healthy person temporarily sidetracked by cancer.  Once I started radiation, I truly felt like a sick person and definitely a cancer patient with a big C.  Just six more rads for me.  Can't wait to be done.  I find marking off each day on the calendar with a big red X helps me.  Hang in there.  We are all here to support you.

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  • Merilee
    Merilee Member Posts: 3,047
    edited August 2011

    I feel like a zombie of sorts when I am there. Kind of just, on auto pilot, get it done feeling.

    Can not wait to be done. I want my life back, and for this to become just something to monitor rather than deal with everyday.

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  • julianna51
    julianna51 Member Posts: 438
    edited August 2011

    Toni and Ann - I felt really weepy my first day too.   And...every now and then for no reason.   It is definitely something I never thought to experience.   #7 down for me today.    Feeling a lot of allergies since I've been off my antioxidants for rads....my eyes feel so awful.   Oh well, hopefully it will pass soon.   Going to ask my RO tomorrow more information about vitamins/supplements since they never really told me not to (and they had a list of what I take) but from here and other places I read not to take them.    Sometimes they give so little information it is frustrating.

    bb - sorry you had such a tough day.    I understand what you mean about planning around a date and then they want to change it.    Hey, we all have lives to get back to living out loud!

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  • Plils
    Plils Member Posts: 146
    edited August 2011

    Hi guys, I made it , last Chemo Aug 1st, went for my SIM and tattoo's today will start Thursday with 30tx with boost, whole left breast the boost to incision. Not sure how I feel just glad it is moving forward after radiation one more surgery then I can put this cancer shit behind me. 

    This journey would sure not be the same with out all of you for all the support and love I feel everytime I I come on.

    Good luck to everyone we will all make it together.

    Lots of hugs 

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  • Elizabeth1889
    Elizabeth1889 Member Posts: 1,036
    edited August 2011

    The love and support I feel here make a big difference in my ability to tolerate treatment, too.  Thank you to everyone.

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  • Merilee
    Merilee Member Posts: 3,047
    edited August 2011

    Plils!

    You did make it, awesome! Such a hard thing to deal with and now you are on the other side of the worst of it. Yippy!

    ps I am in Lansing

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  • Merilee
    Merilee Member Posts: 3,047
    edited August 2011

    #16 for me this morning

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  • Toni_S
    Toni_S Member Posts: 49
    edited August 2011

    Thanks to all the wonderful ladies out there who posted encouraging notes, it feels good to know I'm not alone on this roller coaster of emotions that seems to overwhelm me sometimes.  As another person noted earlier in this thread, you don't have to be brave, you just have to show up.  So I'm concetrating on the "showing up part," and will keep working on the "brave" part.  I'm sure  day two will be a little better than day one and eventually this part of the cancer journey will be over.  I'm going to buy one of those big daily calendars and "x" out a day when I get home from work every day, so I can have a visual reminder that I'm making progress and that there is an end in sight!

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  • pat01
    pat01 Member Posts: 1,005
    edited August 2011

    Toni - We are very similar, I also have a long drive to rads, and I'm also continuing to work. I just had #5 this morning, and this is the first day I haven't cried. I'm actually doing better this week than last - last week I was just a mess, cried before treatment, after treatment, and at random times throughout the day. So not like me. Talked to RO about it and they suggested talking with a social worker. Also so not like me, but I figure what the heck, can't hurt, so I meet with her tomorrow after treatment. I also have not been sleeping well - last night I took a benadryl before bed, and even though I woke up a couple of times, I fell right back to sleep. Maybe a good nights sleep helped with my emotional response to radiation today. I'm not really a pill person, but I think I might do the benadryl 3x a week to get me some rest.

    You don't really need to get your big girl panties on - be kind to yourself, and do things that make you happy. It's OK to be sad - this is temporary, and before long we will be back to our old selves. Sending you a big hug.

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  • LovesChristmas-Barb
    LovesChristmas-Barb Member Posts: 706
    edited August 2011

    Toni...I've been Xing out the days on my calendar too. It is a nice feeling. I hope you and pat01 get to feeling better. I only have a week to go and it has gotten easier for me as the weeks have gone by.

    I couldn't believe it this morning. They have music on in the treatment room and as I was laying there getting radiated, the song "Live Like You Were Dying" came on. It's a good thing that didn't happen in the first few weeks or I would have been crying....

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  • MamaV
    MamaV Member Posts: 907
    edited August 2011

    Barb that is a poor choice of songs! I would have lost it!

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  • sweetcorn
    sweetcorn Member Posts: 188
    edited August 2011

    I had #10 today, and I've got 20 session to go.  I, too, am marking my calendar!  Also, I am tracking my PFC, and today I am 5 weeks PFC.

    Don't have much to report on SEs, but got a little itchy last night.  

    My best to all who are on this journey.  It's great to be able share our experiences, and to know we are not alone.

    Jane

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  • Toni_S
    Toni_S Member Posts: 49
    edited August 2011

    Pat01 - You are so right about not understanding the way we are reacting to rads,"this is so not like me" is exactly what I said to my husband last night. I think maybe a lot of it is the daily reminder that we have cancer, before treatment started I didn't have to focus on that every single day with such intensity. I'm glad today went better for you, it did for me as well. I arrived right at my appointment time so I didn't have to linger in the waiting room and at my daughter's suggestion I did some visualization.  Only day two, but I'm encouraged by what Barb58 said and I hope it will get easier each time. 

    Barb -- the music in my treatment room is sooo bad -- it may actually turn out to be the worst part of the daily treatment routine :) 

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  • Plils
    Plils Member Posts: 146
    edited August 2011

    Hi Merliee,

    Lansing well that is only about a hour away from me, I have been going to LCC, well right now I am not taking any classes because of Chemo brain and I know I would not be able to put 100% into it  or remember anything, shit my memory was bad before all this now OMG....

    Everytime I get on and see your pictures I always smile, love love love them. 

    I am back, and this is what they are giving me not that I understand it... I was totally wrong what I put on the other site....  Anyway I am getting (46 gray in 2 gray fractions, followed by a 14 gray boost to tumor bed) does anyone know what this means?????

    I start tomorrow, I just want to get started and this over with.   

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  • jenny12000
    jenny12000 Member Posts: 39
    edited August 2011

    You ladies are all amazing. I am relatively so lucky that I don't need chemo and the radiation place is just literally 10 minutes away (two traffic lights from my work place). The machine was broken down earlier yesterday and I ended up waited there for a while before I was able to get my treatment. It was actually nice because I got to talk to the nurse for a long while and spent a little time there with the therapy dog....it was really nice to have a personal conversations there than just a patient and machines. The dog is the most beautiful dog that I have ever seen...so huge but yet so timid. I asked the director what does the dog do? he said not really anything, just for the companion...it really is very soothing, very claming...and I could just see the humanity in the dog's eyes....that was so wonderful moments.           

    Today they cancelled the appt because they have problems again with the machine. it's disappointing. because, strangely enough, I am getting used to the routine. I love all the technicians/therapists there. All of them are nice, gentle, kind and sensitive. Also, I live in Louisiana...southern warm personality definiitely every step of the way. It was supposed to finish all the way before my birthday. Now, I guess, I have to do that on my birthday.

    I am still very blessed.

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  • lrw333
    lrw333 Member Posts: 215
    edited August 2011

    Hi ladies and Welcome to everyone new. Today is #8 for me. I am feeling the fatigue but unable to sleep. 3rd night up and only 4 hours sleep the last couple days.Taking melatonin and then tried Tylenol pm.  Anyone having a little neck pain or soreness to the lymph node area?  Still wanting it over so life can be a little more normal. LOL Wishing you all a good day...

                                                                                                                       lisa

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  • Merilee
    Merilee Member Posts: 3,047
    edited August 2011

    Image Detail

    Healing beam #17 for me today

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  • lynniea
    lynniea Member Posts: 611
    edited August 2011

    Hi ladies new here I found lump in Jan I started chemo first,than surgery and now radiation I go for my simulation on the 23 of Aug.  I will be having 25 and 5 boost so 6 weeks.  I am very thankful only have to drive 10 min away for everything.  Also cancer Free after chemo. 

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  • Merilee
    Merilee Member Posts: 3,047
    edited August 2011

    Hi Lynniea

    So good to see you write "cancer free."  Me too, and doing rads for insurance. I did #17 today  not bad so far.

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  • sweetcorn
    sweetcorn Member Posts: 188
    edited August 2011

    Lisa,  I am having trouble sleeping also.  Very restless, but not much fatigue yet.  I take a Valerian plus a tylenol PM...It's frustrating not being able to sleep. 

    The cancer center I go to is kind of on the way to work, so it's not bad.  In and out pretty quickly.  I, too, wish it were over!!!

     Jane

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  • jenn_h
    jenn_h Member Posts: 149
    edited August 2011

    Been off a couple days dealing with my poor son who broke his leg in April...long story short, he had a plate, it then got infected and then he had a wound vac...Between the two of us...WHEW! He had a surgery today for an artificial skin graft which almost didn't get done b/c the skin graft turned out to be expired! We stayed overnight night before as it's 2 hrs away! Luckily someone else was due for the same surgery tomorrow and they had that skin graft so they could order another for her! Crazy day!

    I start rads Mon. and am so busy with all these appts, I figured out that between him and I there are 14 appts in 7 days!! I am a little worried about some pain/numbness in my leg so am seeing onc on Mon too...Hard not to be a little freaked out about any aches and pains and worrying about mets to the bones :( Will that fear every go away?!

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  • Cyborg
    Cyborg Member Posts: 848
    edited August 2011

    Day 13 for me.

    Merilee, I just smile my head off as I lie there under the machine imagining the picture of light for the day. It helps so much.

    I think that the hard time will come (for me) when I am not in treatment any longer and I am just haging there. Crazy...

    I should be done around the 19 of September.

    I love all of you ladies. Welcome Plils.

    Hi there, Mamav!

    Take care everyoe.

    I am working, so I am a little fried.

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  • bb226
    bb226 Member Posts: 102
    edited August 2011

    Hi. Finish 19 of 25 today. Haven't posted for a few days. Started short disability for a few weeks. The fatigue was not managable with the hectic work schedule. I am much happier and getting more rest. Skin still pink with a rash. Using aquaphor to the itchy area only. No pain at all. RO happy with progress. The big thing is my sis found a lump in her breast. They moved up her yearly mammo and they found a mass in each breast. I am very scared for her. God I hope she doesn't have to join the club. She lives cross country from me.

    Hope all is well for everyone in rads or starting soon. 6 more treatments and then done.

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  • mconsiglio
    mconsiglio Member Posts: 9
    edited August 2011

    Hi Ladies,

    I am on 12 of 30 treatments and so far so good. RO had prescribed a steroid cream to help with any burn but so far just a little pink. I am also getting the whole breast rad with a boost in the last couple of weeks. My RO also suggested Almond Milk to help the skin. Said it is all natural and will not do any harm. Getting tired in the afternoon sometimes, appointment is a 11:00 and it is a 20 mile drive. Glad today is Thursday and after tomorrow will have a couple days off. Good luck everyone and keep smiling, everyone will wonder what you've been up too.  

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  • LovesChristmas-Barb
    LovesChristmas-Barb Member Posts: 706
    edited August 2011
    bb226...I'm saying a prayer that your sister doesn't have to join us too...
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  • Merilee
    Merilee Member Posts: 3,047
    edited August 2011

    BB226 the montra for your sister is B9 B9 B9

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  • Merilee
    Merilee Member Posts: 3,047
    edited August 2011
    Image DetailHealing beam #18 for me today
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