Help. I have to put my cat down.

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cs34
cs34 Member Posts: 253

Whiskey was there with me during my chemo days. She laid right outside my bedroom door. 

I feel that SHE was the ONLY one with me and now I just made an appointment to kill her????????

Oh my gosh. I'm freaking out! How do I do this????

Please know I know in my heart that she's old and it's time and not letting her suffer is REALLY being good to her but how do I say goodbye to the ONLY comfort I had during the horror of chemo?

Please help me make sense of this. I have to pull myself together here.

Maybe I should focus on her and not ME during chemo?
How am I going to do this?????????? 

Comments

  • baywatcher
    baywatcher Member Posts: 532
    edited August 2011

    What is going on with Whiskey? Is she in too bad of shape to just let nature take it's course? So sorry that you are going to lose her soon. I love my kitty and I dread the day she is gone.

  • sewingnut
    sewingnut Member Posts: 1,129
    edited August 2011

    I feel so sad for you.  It is a hard decision to make.  My STicker was the same way.  She would sit in my lap after chemo and I would brush her. We had to  make the decision because she was in kidney failure, was 18 yrs old and had arthritis ( couldn't jump anymore).  My DIL is a vet tech and did it for us at the office.  Still so very sad....I know what you are going through......

  • christina1961
    christina1961 Member Posts: 736
    edited August 2011

    What is wrong with her?  Is she in pain?  What a tough decision to make during treatment - everyone is different but with my old codgers if they are not in pain I keep them going best I can.  I have a really old dog now who I worry about but his appetite is still good and he still gets up and gets around ok.  On the other hand, I had a kitty with a history of chronic inflammatory bowel disease.  She was very thin for several months; I was sitting with her when she ate to encourage her.  I found her one morning in distress (didn't know it but she had bleeding inside and was anemic) and I tried to save her - she died a couple days later at the vet when they tried to put a feeding tube in her.  I often wish I had her euthanized rather than put her through that trying to save her.  You will know what is right in your heart.  Take care, and know she is a very lucky kitty to have someone who cares enough to agonize over such a decision.  There are so many out there who never have anyone love them.

  • NatsFan
    NatsFan Member Posts: 3,745
    edited August 2011

    CS - I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. We had to put our beloved 20 year old corgi down after my chemo second treatment, and our beloved 20 year old Manx kitty died after my 3rd treatment, and had she not died that night, we were planning on taking her in the next day. 

    Only you can make this decision, but if she truly is suffering, it's far better for her to humanely end that suffering.  Take her in, hold her and talk with her the whole time, and let her last memories be of being held by her beloved owner.  It's going to be terrible for you, but I think later you'll feel better that you did right by her. 

    It was terribly hard to make the decision to put down the corgi, but now, three years later, I know I made the right decision to put his needs above my own.  And in a way I feel guilty that we didn't take the Manx kitty in a few days earlier to spare her those hours in which she suffered. You obviously love Whiskey very much - I think that you'll find the courage to make the right decision for her. 

    Sending you hugs on this rough day.  

  • apple
    apple Member Posts: 7,799
    edited August 2011

    awww.. you poor thing..just do what is right.

  • cs34
    cs34 Member Posts: 253
    edited August 2011

    Thank you!!!!! 

    She had a cyst on her leg by her paw. It grew at lightning speed. Since she is 16-17 years old, the Dr didn't want to put her through an operation. He wasn't sure if it was a cyst (don't know the name) that would grow back anyway even after removing it. 

    As it turns out, she now has about five or six surrounding her paw. The deal was, when they opened up, I would have to do this. Up until two days ago, when one opened, she was eating, playing, cleaning herself so we left it alone. 

    Now that they're opened, she's limping, there's blood all over the floor and she's not eating all of her food and I even gave her cat nip last night and she didn't take all of it. 
    She's not following me around everywhere I go either.

    I know anyone loving an animal can understand what I feel but I needed to hear from others who went through the chemo/cancer thing because I think the animal becomes SO MUCH more or on a deeper level to you when you shared that.

    I guess I needed "permission" to do this? Meaning, my Aunt and friends who have cats tell me "it's ok" but they don't know how I truly feel about her and that she went through chemo with me.

    Hearing it from you guys gives me the "ok" I guess. Does this sound crazy?

    I do feel better from your responses. Thank you a million times!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you.  

  • RetiredLibby
    RetiredLibby Member Posts: 1,992
    edited August 2011

    cs34, we had to put our beloved 16-year-old kitty down shortly after my first surgery after my first dx 4 years ago.  She had renal failure and we just couldn't keep her going anymore.  She crashed one day when we were at work and we came home to find her curled up in a puddle of urine and staring vacantly into space (she was a talker, and to see her unresponsive was terrible).  We made an appointment to take her in the next day, and by then she had rallied somewhat.  But she was getting worse and worse, and we couldn't have her suffering anymore.  DH and I held her and stroked her during ... it was agonizing for us.  But it was the right thing to do -- we owed it to her for all of the love she had given us for 16 years.  Keeping her would have been selfish -- letting her go was the adult thing to do.  Even the vet praised us for doing it, glad that we put her welfare above our own.  That's how we got through it.  I don't think you ever get over the loss, but you cherish the time you had with your fur children.

    (((((hugs to you at this sad time)))))

    L

  • SpecialK
    SpecialK Member Posts: 16,486
    edited August 2011

    I am so sorry that you are having to face this.  I had to put my 17 year old siamese down about 18 months ago.  I had not been diagnosed with BC yet but he was my devoted companion during the loss of both parents and the unexpected loss of my only sibling.  When my brother died I discovered a tumor in my calf, before being identified as benign it was a much more dire prognosis than my current BC.  I had the tumor removed and that cat was the best nurse ever, he never left my side.  We adored each other, my children don't remember a time without him.  This may creep some people out - but I did have him cremated and I have his ashes.  They are in a little box with a sweet picture of him in front of it.  He is still with me and I acknowledge him every day.  Knowing I could do this made it easier for me to do the right thing for him when he became too ill.  My vet was awesome, they were very gentle and caring.  I was willing to do anything to save him, but there came a sudden turning point when I realized that was my wish, not his.  I know this is hard, but you know it is the right thing to do.

  • mumito
    mumito Member Posts: 4,562
    edited August 2011

    Oh god I am soo sorry for you I went through the same thing with my gump.Only the lump was on his upper right chest.When he could no longer walk I also made the dreaded appt.We don't want them to suffer but we love them so much.((hugs)) Gump amd I  were both diagnosed the same year. I couldn't take him in my DH had to do it for me.

  • 4minniemousegirl
    4minniemousegirl Member Posts: 26
    edited August 2011

    ohhh, hugs to you! I've had to put down every pet I have ever had..it stinks. It is the worst...I feel your pain and am so sorry! Hang in there and whatever you decide, will be what is best for your beloved kitty. good luck to you! 

  • dreaming
    dreaming Member Posts: 473
    edited August 2011

    The biggest gift of love to our pets is not to let them suffer.. I had to do the same, several times, my dogs and cats lived to 15, 18 years, but when pain started and they looked at me for help, I kept them hugging till they went to sleep at the vets , their gift of love deserved that I protected from pain and suffering.

    I buried each on my yard and planted roses, now when they bloom, it is them giving me still beauty, color like they did, I am Roman Catholic and believe that our loved ones are with us, protecting us, and why not our pets? They are the gift that God created for humans so we will get love and companionship.

    Do not feel guilty, sad yes.

  • greytmom_17
    greytmom_17 Member Posts: 162
    edited August 2011

    So sorry.  I had to make that decision about 6 months ago, about a year after treatment ended.  It was SOOOO hard, but it was the right thing to do.  I echo what others have said - she was such a good dog that I felt it was the least I could do for her.  Keeping her around longer would have been for me, not her. 

  • Laurie08
    Laurie08 Member Posts: 2,891
    edited August 2011

    I put my cat down two weeks ago, he was 13.  That cat slept on my stomach every night for thirteen years, until he couldn't climb the stairs, then I carried him to bed.  He learned to love my sons and napped with them in the afternoon and slept on them.  Then he started losing weight rapidly, losing his coordination.  We had him tested for everything and they couldn't figure it out.  I tried to keep testing and figure it out but he was suffering.  He would look at me like what the hell is going on?

    I was heart broken to put him down, but I am sure he felt relief.  I am sorry you are going through this.  It is so hard to have to be the adult to decide when it is right.  They are "pets" but they love us and we love them, in ways no one knows.

    You will know what is best and I am sorry You have to deal with this.

  • suemed8749
    suemed8749 Member Posts: 1,151
    edited August 2011

    Oh CS, I feel so bad for you - I know how hard this is. In March, my 12-yr-old Molly (gray tabby) got very sick, and her bloodwork showed kidney failure. I came home from the vet with subcutaneous hydration, antibiotics and special food, but still had to eventually put her to sleep. It was so hard - I held her when they gave her the shot, and she just went to sleep.

    Like Laurie said, you'll know what is best for Whiskey. It will be terribly hard, but she trusts you to take care of her.

  • cs34
    cs34 Member Posts: 253
    edited August 2011

    To all that helped me last week... 

    I put her down on Friday. I spent Thursday night and all Friday morning with her. I don't have to tell any of you how difficult it was to get the cage, put her in it and go.

    The vet and his nurse are so unbelievably wonderful so the process wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. To me, laying with her Thursday and Friday was the worst part because there, I said my goodbye's and thank you's to her. Anyway...can't go here...

    I cannot believe the amount of joy and love she gave me. I thought my heart felt the way I did about her because of how she was with me during chemo but it was SOOOOOO much more.
    Anyway, I don't know if I could EVER get another cat because she will NEVER measure up to Whiskey but then I stop and think about that the world has loved their pets and got another one so I should just give myself a little more time and then see how I feel.

    I've heard my girlfriends say they were afraid that they wouldn't be "able" to love their second child as they did the first...like almost thinking it wasn't possible and we all know that it is! I guess it's the same thing as that? I have no children so I can only say that I can't see myself ever loving another cat like I did with Whiskey...and they'll never be her. Different, I know...not better, just different but what happens if I get nasty because I say, "Whiskey would never have done that!" 

    I think I may try for a dog...? I don't know.

    Went off on a tangent and only wanted to say thank you again. I thought of all of you and those who said that looking back, they wished they would have done it sooner. I kept remembering that. It gave me strength. Thank you.  

  • RetiredLibby
    RetiredLibby Member Posts: 1,992
    edited August 2011

    cs34, (((((hugs))))) to you.  I know just how heartbreaking it was for you to have to do that ... the pain is so intense it leaves you breathless.  But you did it because you loved her unselfishly and you were being a responsible parent.

    I thought it would kill me both times we had to put our cats down.  I couldn't sleep for days.  I could barely breathe.  But in time, the pain gets less.  You always remember them with sadness and you never stop missing them, but it does get manageable.

    And as far as a new pet goes, you love them for their individual personalities, not "in spite" of the fact that they're not your beloved lost pet.  Forrest isn't Spotty or Puffy, but he's his own silly little special boy, who somersaults into my stomach to snuggle (not kidding!) instead of lying up by my head and watching my eyes to make sure I go to sleep.  I love him just as much as I loved Spotty and Puffy -- and I love that he is his own little man.  They don't have to be reflections of your lost pet -- they are their own eminently lovable, funny, strange little fur-selves with their own little quirks and ways that they love you.

    Hugs to you ... I know this is a hard, hard time.

    L

  • SpecialK
    SpecialK Member Posts: 16,486
    edited August 2011

    cs34 - Glad you were able to summon the courage and know when the time was right.  I know how hard it was and how sad you are right now.  You will always miss your Whiskey (that sounded funny!) but time will offer you perspective, and allow you to look back with love and appreciation and less heartache.  When the time comes for a another pet you will be open to it in a new way, and a  unique personality will allow you to love him/her too!

  • mumito
    mumito Member Posts: 4,562
    edited August 2011

    cs34 I decided I would not have another pet after going through the same thing but a month later this little furball appeared.My daughter insisted she needed to be rescued from the shelter. We are now unseperateable.She will never replace my gump but she is already a part of my heart.

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