August 2011 rads
Comments
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I'm at 23/31 and I can wear a cotton sports bra but I don't think I could wear any of my regular bras.
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I love all you special ed teachers. My son is in his last year of high school. He will be 22 in May and no longer eligible. It breaks my heart. For the rest of his life he will never get the love and indivisual attention he has received throughout his long public education in special ed.
Boosts: The way it was explained to me is that the best surgeon in the world may very possibly drag cancer cells to the surface when he makes or closes an incision. There is no way to know, and that is why so many reocurrances occur at the incision and very close to the surface. Boosts are to try to eliminate that possibility. Does that make sense to anyone. It did to me.
I was scheduled for 28 treatments and 5 boosts. Will have my #23 treatment tomorrow. My breast is very pink and now getting itchy, but nothing worse than that yet. In spite of that, I hate radiation. It has been the hardest part of this journey for me. I feel ashamed when I read about so many of you who say, Oh, it's not bad at all. You can do this. I'm doing this, but I'm hating it too.
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Pollyagain - I hated radiation, too. (I finished on Friday) Like you, I felt foolish being all stressed out and hating every single day of it. But I did. I huge cloud lifted off of me walking out of that clinic on Friday. So, so glad to be done.
Jenn_h - I think I could have worn a bra for the first 5 weeks. But at the warning of the tech and my doc, I didn't. No need to cause undue skin distress. RIght now there is no way I could wear a bra. But I do have 4 brand new bras hanging in my closet waiting for the day when I can.
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Pollyagain: It is all right to feel any way you want. I hate rads, too, and like you, it is the most difficult of the journey for me. I would gladly have done double the chemo if i could have skipped rads. Someone on another forum said, "You don't have to be brave. You just have to show up." Right now, that is best I can do.
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bb: Thanks for all of the interesting information. Is there an understandable website you are using to learn about rads?
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#14 for me this morning
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SAB-I am a RN with a Masters degree. I have access to the medical OVID system and basically pull up 90-95% of the medical research articles out there on areas of radiation that interest me. My expertise is definitely not radiation. I have learned a lot through googling words in my medical record especially terms the skin nurse is using. Every once in a while I come across a great article and learn a lot. For example I came across an article that my RO wrote. In it she writes what her institution does by week by week of rads including fatigue stats, pain meds, progression of lotions, etc. Sometimes this is very bad because I am researching way too much and finding things that are so rare but are on my radar.
If you have a specific question that you are wondering about, PM me and I will try to get you an answer.
Everyone have a great week.
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Merilee - Love the image this morning. I'll hold this in my mind as I go in today.
I think we all "hate" rads. I know I did everything I could to get out of of it but once convinced it was the best thing to do I have resigned myself to it. Hearing from all of you going through the same thing helps as well as "listening" to bb's knowledge and holding Merilee's images in my mind and heart.
bb - did you ever figure out what you were going to do to celebrate when finished?
Everyone have a wonderful day!
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Hi everyone. Ready for another week of this ? NOT!!! I dread it as well. Very emotional for some reason. Not while getting Rads but all weekend was horrible. I keep thinking gloom and doom. I am having a hard time accepting it still or something. You hug your loved ones closer and always say I love you. Appreciating every moment but at the same time dewelling on this evil cancer. I lost my Mom at the same age I am now to BC I watched her fight for years. #5 for me today. Thinking of you all and I hope everyone is doing ok.... Love the pics merilee. Thank you.. bb when did you start sleeping alot?
lisa
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Lisa: I am so sorry to hear about your mother. It sounds so scary for you. Sending you hugs and wishing you a good week.
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#3 for me today - saw RO and told them about my sadness and not sleeping, so uncharacteristic for me - at their suggestion I'm going to talk with social worker later in the week, and they suggested generic benadryll 25mg before bed to help with sleeping.
@Juls - also saw the help - almost as good as the book, which was fantastic! I'm finding keeping busy keeps my mind off of things.
@Jenn_h - I'm at the beginning, so no skin reaction yet - I've been wearing regular Underwire bras if the shirt warrants it - I bought some all cotton sports bras for later when I may need to be more gentle.
Question for all of you - I was told no deodorant on affected side - I am now so smelly under there - even right after a shower a still have strong odor. and I've gone without deodorant before (like when camping) and not noticed a smell this strong. Is this happening to any of you?
Pat -
I can't say I hate rads, but I am counting down the treatments, #8 of 30 today, with the last 5 being boosts. I am wearing my regular bras so far, with no ill effects.
I am sure there will be adjustments along the way.
Lisa, it must be particularly emotional for you, as you think about your mother. But remember all of the improvements and advances in breast cancer treaments since then.
Good wishes to everyone, as we continue the journey.
Jane
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I go today for the SIM and meet with the skin nurse. They said it should take about 2 hours for today's appt. I go back next Monday for the dry run and then start txs next Tuesday.
@ pat01: my RO said he was giving me a special deo for the affected side. He said the over-the-counter (OTC) ones have aluminum in them and this one he is giving me doesn't. I will let you know what deo he gives me. I have noticed that since surgery, I can go days without deo and have no odor. It is b/c the nerves were cut for the mastectomy/LN dissection and the sweat glands are not functioning right now.
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Tom's is the deodorant they said i could use but it doesn't work any better than just washing my pits a few times a day.
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I haven't had to wear deoderant since my surgery...do the sweat gland "heal" and start stinkin' again?
Do they make sports bras with pockets to put fakies in? I hate the stupid camisole thing and will really need to find something else if I can't wear bras...i was pretty large before surgery so I can't really go without anything...
Polly, don't feel bad about feeling bad...I know what you mean, I always feel like I have to be the strong one for everyone else and I don't have the luxury of being miserable or scared...
Love the pic. Merilee!!
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@ jenn_h: I believe they do. I hope so, b/c from what I am reading, that will be the most comfortable while doing rads. I too was a "big girl" before surgery (D/DD), but since I had a B mast, I don't HAVE to wear a bra (nothing to put in one! LOL!).
Eventually, if the nerves reconnect, the sweat glands may resume. That would not hurt my feelings to stay gone! LOL!
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Jenn_h - I am large chested. DDD - yes, 3 D's! I wore tanks with built in bras for the most part. And on days when I need a little more support, I wear a soft cotton sports bra (the same ones I wore after surgery) over the tank. It works. I have a friend who is very critical of how everyone looks and she said that I look fine. I don't feel like I look fine, but I don't look all 'loosey-goosey' either. lol
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I also use Tom's deo. It contains no alum. You can get it at Walmart. But like Merilee said it doesn't work as well as my other arm's Secret deo. I bring it to work at re-apply it 1-2X being careful not to apply it 2 hours before rads.
Lisa-I think that the sleep will be easier this week for you. I noticed it starting in the 2nd week. Unfortunately the last few nights I haven't slept. It is tyelnol PM for me tonight.
Julianna-You are right I finish next Friday (my fingers are crossed) and I need to set something up to celebrate. It will definitely be a nice dinner and drinks at a really nice place. I have plans to see my sis in Ca at the end of Sept, Hawaii in Nov and a cruise in Feb. (I work to travel. Had to give it up this summer for treatment.)
Done with 16 and 9 to go. Pink, have an itchy rash and I think peeling under my breast. No pain. Still working full time. Life is good.
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Jenn H- i am wearing a bra with no underwire. It's not real attractive, but it doesn't show under most of my clothers.
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Good Morning everyone. You know you have been truly blessed when you find this place, Not sure what I would do without the understanding and support from you guys. I hope everyone has a good day
.My older sis has BC as well only worse then me and refusing to go to the doctor after 4 chemo treatments. It is so hard to deal with sometimes. OK I have said my peace LOL I am going to try and be more positive. Just look oer me. I simply refuse to let this get the better of me.
Elizabeth Hugs and wishing you the same.
bb and Jane praying your right. Lisa
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#15 for me today, half way mark!
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I am at 6 of 33 now. Yesterday, the therapist said that my breast changed probably due to the swelling down even more after the surgery (7/8/11). They need to watch today and may need to recalculate. Did anyone experience this shrinking after/during the radiation? I didn't notice anything different this week from last week. I already have a small breast to begin with...not sure what to expect after all is done? I don't know if I really care anymore...just want to get the radiation done and move on with my life. I don't really have any time to feel sorry for myself but do wondering. Surgery and Radiation...what would be left of me? and how much more I have to take?
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Woohooo Merilee!!! Half-way is great!
jenny - yesterday was my #6 and they did their daily x-rays. They moved the one remaining sticky and X just slightly. I know they measure every week. Hugs to you, there is so much left to you and life is and will be good for you.
bb - your trips sound wonderful and so much to look forward to. I need to plan at least a nice 3-day weekend trip.
Better go get ready for #7! Everyone have a beautiful day!
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Merilee I love that image. I go for #14 today. No skin change yet. How's yours holding up?
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Just a little heat rash type thing in the middle of my chest. Nothing that can't be managed so far. I do feel tired but don't know if its the rads or not.
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Sarah, I had a BMX too, but am kind of uncomfortable with no padding due to past size...All these things to worry about...i mean really, you'd think the cancer would be enough! Hugs to all!
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Merilee glad to hear you are ok so far! I'm a little tired too but not any more than usual after a work day.
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Today was day 2 of 20. Obviously no side effects yet. I'm sure they will start soon. They gave me a special cream to use so hopefully that will help.
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Had my first treatment this morning. Even though I've had three surgeries and numerous consults with oncologists and surgeons I have to say that this is the first time I really felt like a cancer patient. Lying under that machine, the stark reality of your condition is undeniable. It was all so unsettling, all I could do was concentrate on getting through it without crying. I'm not a wimp, and I don't like to dwell on the negative, but this was just plain depressing. I'm sure it gets to be a "no big deal" routine event pretty quickly -- I guess I just wasn't prepared for the reality check I got this morning. I'll be better prepared tomorrow -- and all the next days to follow. Time to put on my big girl panties and get with the program
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Hi ladies, just thought I would pop in as I am in this club too. Just had number 11 today, starting to get some irritation under my boob now due to the fact I was still wearing my under wire bras sigh, so I went and got a good sports bra at lunch today, 135 later OUCH wonder if I can send that bill into my inusrance Im going to try. I am also big busted, double F in a specialty store lol. well one is not so much anymore but hey, not going to dwell on that right now. I am feeling a bit tired too and dont know if its the rads or just still recovering, a bit of both I would imagine. The radiation team is very nice but I will be very glad to be done. I am 1/3 there today whooo hooo only 22 more to go lol.
Hope you are all having a great day
Kymn
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