Do you have young kids?

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  • lab44
    lab44 Member Posts: 69
    edited June 2011

    thx - hope your recovery continues to go well.

    I will have help but, as you know, it's tough when they want you and you can't comfort them :-(. Mine weigh bet. 25 - 28lbs, so I plan on holding off as long as possible.

    It was suggested to me about making accommodations (which I plan on doing) to change diapers, etc.

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  • Laurie08
    Laurie08 Member Posts: 2,891
    edited June 2011

    lab44- My kids were 2 1/2 and 7 months when I went through it.  It was harder on my youngest because he didn't understand.  My youngest is now 18 months.  My first advice is do everything you can not to pick them up and let yourself heal.  But like yorel said you can adjust, when sitting on the couch if they want to be picked up, stick your leg between theirs and hoist them up to your lap using your leg strength.  I did that quite a bit.  But at that age they understand boo boo's.  I hope you have help for getting them in and out of their cribs, for me that was the hardest thing to not do.  For me once the drains were out I could rock them, have them sit on me etc.  The surgery site wasn't too painful, my oldest knew to be careful. 

    I wish you all the best, it will be a hard 4 weeks, I won't lie, but then it will be behind you.  My youngest decided two weeks into it I served no purpose and ignored me, I couldn't hold him, feed him, rock him etc.  But with in two days of doing  it again I was his favorite :D 

    So if it gets hard remember, children are resilient and it will be back to normal soon enough. Come her and rell us of your challanges and we'll try to help, 

    (((hugs))))

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  • texasrose361
    texasrose361 Member Posts: 1,829
    edited June 2011

    Going to Sea world a lot, traveling up north to see my family (they are in your neck of the woods Yorehl), movies, bowling, maybe the circus cuz they are in town this weekend, camping- thats about it LOL

    Lab44- if at all possible could you have someone help out for the first 2 weeks? Or maybe the first week? I had my aunt in town and she did everything, along with my husband so i had plenty of time to rest and not get over worked. I credit that for me healing so quickly after my bilateral. My surgeon also commented on how well i was doing. I dont think it will take a full 4 weeks if you have help at first.

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  • lab44
    lab44 Member Posts: 69
    edited June 2011

    All - thanks for suggestions, comments, thoughts, etc.

    Thankfully, I will have more than enough help between my DH, my mom & sister. It's me that I need to make sure I take care of (not doing anything I shouldn't - it's tough being stubborn :-).

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  • browniefranks
    browniefranks Member Posts: 87
    edited July 2011

    Had my last chemo infusion today, hope the side effects are not as bad as previous cycles. Kids are on vacation at my sisters, miss them terribly.

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  • bobeena
    bobeena Member Posts: 56
    edited August 2011

    I have 2 kids (boy 6 and girl 4). I am scheduled for a BMX in a few weeks with delayed reconstruction, and I did not need chemo. My husband is very supportive and says that they will be fine, but I worry about how they will cope and react to all of this. My kids are my everything, and like any mom, I want to do everything I can to help them through this and for them to be as adjusted as possible. Any suggestions on on how to deal with them seeing drains, the changes to my physical appearance or any other issues that others have encountered would be greatly appreciated!

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  • Laurie08
    Laurie08 Member Posts: 2,891
    edited August 2011

    bobeena- My biggest advice is stay strong and even if you are terrified, make it no big deal.  Your children will take the lead from you.  In the beginning I would talk on the phone in the next room and think no one was listening, they were.  I told my son 2 1/2 at the time that I had a boo boo that they were going to take out so I wouldn't get sick.  Once I talked with him about it, and not just on the phone etc he dealt much better.  He came to see me at the hospital after my surgery met my Dr and actually thanked him for helping me. 

    I did however not show the drains, he caught me once naked with them hanging and I made a stupid excuse and distracted him.  I think you can hide those for the most part and It's only a couple of weeks. But again my children were much younger and more naive- maybe someone else has better advice for you? But I made everything simple and matter of fact.

    They took my nipples off to fix me, I get them back later etc.  My youngest is 1 1/2 and one of his words is nipple thanks to my other son.  lol!  You will find your way through, be honest and direct and it should be ok.

    Best of luck to you!

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  • Eema
    Eema Member Posts: 493
    edited August 2011

    Just found this thread-- can I play, too if I'm an old mom with a young child? I had my son when I was 40 and he is now 6 and a bundle of energy I can't keep up with! Thank G-d for camps! I was very sick last Oct- Jan with angioedema of the face and throat ( swelling) and weird anaphylaxsis. I was in and out of the hospital for a total of a month during that period, and no one could figure out what was making my throat swell and close. First they thought it was allergic (suddenly allergic to things i ate my whole life like tree nuts, apples, cranberries, tomatoes. One doc accused me of doing it to myself for narcotics. One accused me of doing it myself for attention. I would complain of breast pain that would wake me up in a pool of sweat, but all the docs told me I could get a mammogram after I was out of the hospital. Got one in December, they said if I don't hear from them, no news is good news. Four months later I was at my PCP and just happened to ask about the mammo, beause I was still havig horrible breast pain. She leafed through my huge file and couldnt find it. I told her to forget it, I was probably fine, when she found it. BIRAD was in big angry letters at the top of the report. Her face went white and she said, " I signed off on this--no one called you???".



    No, no one called me to tell me I needed a biopsy and probably had cancer. She told me to follow up, I did, and never got a call from her, not from the results of the biopsy, nothin'.



    My poor baby ( and hubby ) have been through so much. After the angioedema, my son wasn't phased by the cancer diagnosis. He was so cute, when I told him I would be in the hospital for an operation, he asked for how long. I told him probably two days. He fist pumped the air and said , "YES!" I was upset-- I said, "you WANT Eema (mom in Hebrew"? His response? "Eema, only two days!" you've been in the hospital MUCH longer than that!". And you know what? He's right!



    He wants to see my new boobies, but I've been hiding them. I still have drains and am afraid to frighten him, even when he tells me he needs to see because he wants to be a doctor when he grows up:). Should I let him see? Even without my 'nickles' (as he calls them)?

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  • leftfootforward
    leftfootforward Member Posts: 1,726
    edited August 2011

    bobeena-

     i have 4 children (9, 6.5, 3.5, and 1).  I was truthful with them all and found that to be best. I of course varied the amount of information each got depending on their age.  The 8 now 9 year old I showed actual photos of what I would look like after my BMX included what drains looked like.  The 6 year old I discussed how I woudl no longer have my boobs as he called them. HIs concern was mostly that I couldn't feed any more babies.  I told him that this is true, I wouldn't be able to do that any more.  I did show him the drains as he asked me to see them. After that, things were ok.  My 3 year old I just explained I had a big owie and that she had to be careful around me.  She still asks how my owie is healing and asks to see the scars. I always show her.  That was all she needed to  know. Mostly I told them that I would be sore and not able to do things like pick them up for a while. My 3 year old daughter woudl snuggle with me on the couch and hold my hand as an alternative. My kids also seemed to be near me so I made them nests to sleep in by my bed or on the couch while I was recovering. I made sure they knew I would always be there for them, just not in the way they were used to for a while.  We spent a lot of time reading together. They all seemed to get it and did just fine.  Probably better than I gave them credit for.

    I wish you the best on this next stage of your journey.  It won't be easy, but I think the kids will surprise you.  Just make sure you have lots of help. You really won't be able to do anything for a few weeks.  It took me 3 weeks until I felt almost back to normal after my BMX. I couldn't drive for the first 10 days or so and I had my drains in for about  14 days. Those are the biggest pain.  I put my in a fanny pack which also kept them out of view.

    Hugs to you and your family.  You can and will do this.

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  • bobeena
    bobeena Member Posts: 56
    edited August 2011

    Yorelh and Lori 08 - Thanks so much for your advice, insight, and hugs. It is appreciated more than you know! I feel more confident after hearing your experiences that I am preparing them the best I can for the changes to come :)

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