You're not screwed up in the head, so rule that out. Chemo/chemopause totally f#%cks with your sex drive, I.e. Pretty much brings it down a million notches. Then you have the body issues(speaking for myself anyway). Yes, people tell me I look great, but to me, I look totally different. Bodacious ta-ts's are gone forever and I was all about the rack (talk about a kick in the pants, diagnosed with stage 3 bc)! It takes more work to get me going and a little more attention to detail if you catch my drift. . Not much advice to offer, just know you are certainly not riding that ride (so to speak), alone:)

I understand! I have no advice as I have been having the same problem for awhile. I also want my mojo back, my hubby is patient and I start wondering if he is just not interested either anymore or he has just given up. We kinda live like roommates, and that is so not fair for him. I seem to be ok with the situation but worry that he will eventually look elsewhere. I am perfectly happy not having sex and that is just not right! I love my husband and he is very cute:) How do I resist him?

I am a giving, dutiful, wife who takes her conjugal obligations seriously.  I have never enjoyed sex unless I was totally toasted (and that's not part of my lifestyle).    my husband knows this, knew this before we married.    It's just not part of my personality.   I have always been that way, and am frankly surprised that I am married.     We manage to get along just fine on a one day on, one day off schedule. 

 My husband is a real dear and i love him. 

 if i had some dope, I'd smoke it for my sake.

I just do the deed....I have to drink first though...lol It's going to be a while b-4 we get that back but baby steps is I expect...I think I am Team Apple on this one.

My husband and I had a awesome sex drive. Then once I broke my arm, shoulder and was dx with cancer it all went down hill. I lost it! I feel for my husband yet I do turn him on with all my scars and baldness. I just cannot imagine what he sees. I truly know that it goes beyond that. I can take it or leave it it is really no big deal to me. Which I think I need to care about it more. He is so understanding about it and never gets upset or pushes it in anyway. I know when my Dr. told me no hormones I was surprised cause everything stopped. I am also a TN going through chemo for the 3rd time for my 3rd dx. It is like the chemo messes with your nerve endings. I cannot achieve an orgasm like I did before. My gyn put me on cialas and that did help some. It is like Vigara and is for men but women are known to take it. We went to go to Mexico to get it cause my insurance would not cover it. I do remember the sex life we had and how much intimacy we had then as far as exploring our bodies go. We are much closer now than what we were before really. He is my very best friend. 75% of marriages end in divorce cause of chronic disease. Which is truly sad. We have kept our relationship strong. I think it is important you let your partner know how you feel. Your open with  your Dr.'s as well. I even went to a sex counselor to see if it was just in my head and I need to rethink my way of thinking. She felt it was not in my head that it is  more of what the chemicals have done to me along with the surgeries that have taken place to make my body feel numb. So that was encouraging to know. We are not crazy. Unfortunately we have been dealt some crappy cards. I just pray that it will change and my husband is able to bring me more pleasure. Which is the hardest thing for him cause that is his goal. I reassure him it is not his fault and he knows just this. I just feel I have to let him know. I know there is a thread on here I want my mojo back. It has a lot of ideas available as well. Keep a good mind and know that we will get through this hurdle as well. I have hope and am going to continue to hold on to it. I pray that my orgasm came back with all this chemo in my body. I just have to figure out something to trigger it. You know what I mean. I would drink but cannot drink anymore cause I have liver mets too.

(((Steph))),

I haven't been here for a few days and just saw your post. I am having a tough time in that area myself and have been avoiding the subject w/hubby myself.  He's always been a boob man and I truly think he's disappointed in how this is turning out.  I know he didn't mean to hurt my feelings, but at my last revision the PS decided not to do the nipples yet as she wanted to wait till things settled down for the best result, and he mentioned a couple times--"no nips?" with a glum look on his face.  Men.....I am scheduled for nipples later this month, then the tatooing, so hopefully I'll feel better about how I look.  I actually am very happy with the size and scarring at this point.

NOW, Scream Cream---THAT I may have to check out too!

Sharon

Scream cream...that's funny, love the name.  I've never been one of those "gotta have it women" either.  I could take it or leave it but this post-bc sex-drive is ridiculus, even for me.  I can honestly say since dx we had one good night but the other's have been ok and out of obiligation on my part (I feel sorry for him )  When I was switched to Aromasin it did help, I had the worst vaginal dryness with Arimidex.  Great topic.