Spunked Out

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SpunkyGirl
SpunkyGirl Member Posts: 1,568
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer

Whhhhaaaaa!  Girls, you know I don't do that very often, and it's not very cool to complain when your moniker is SpunkyGirl, but I am (sometimes) officially spunked out.  DH's health continues to decline, and I had a heckuva time getting him from his bed to the wheelchair today, only to discover that he had an accident and didn't tell me.  I get LOTS of help (but am on my own in the evening and at night), and I am getting concerned that I won't be able to keep him at home much longer.  I'm not that big, and he is 250 lbs.   And, alas, when I do get outside to run, the 100 degree heat isn't doing me any favors and making me feel spunky.  Like I said, "Whhhhaaaaaa!'  There I feel better already....

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  • SpunkyGirl
    SpunkyGirl Member Posts: 1,568
    edited August 2011

    P.S.  I am TRULY thankful to at least be hitting the 5yr mark, and I can't wait to post for that, but truthfully that has me a little nervous too.  I'm the only thing my kids have got!

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  • ebann
    ebann Member Posts: 3,026
    edited August 2011

    Wow you have a lot to deal with SpunkyGirl. I understand your concern. My mother's boyfriend of 20 years was just dx with Parkinson's and is declining. My mother is not in the best health either. He also weighs a lot too. She is afraid she is going to have to get him full time care cause she cannot take the best care of him anymore. She wants to be there for him. She has not done counseling and her Dr. is recommending it for her and I think it would be a good idea for her to do. Have you thought of counseling? Sounds like you need someone to talk to. I think this is a great place for support as well. Vent all you want too,  You can PM me as well if you would like. My purpose in life is my children and especially my grandchildren. I wish you the best.

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  • karen1956
    karen1956 Member Posts: 6,503
    edited August 2011

    ((((((((((((((((((((((Spunky))))))))))))))))

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  • elmcity69
    elmcity69 Member Posts: 998
    edited August 2011

    ((((((((((spunky girl)))))))))))))

    go ahead and whine. we will listen, anytime. you are an amazing lady. it stinks that life has thrown so much crap your way.

    xo

    j

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  • faithfulheart
    faithfulheart Member Posts: 544
    edited August 2011

    Spunky,

    You can't always be super women!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Vent you deserve it, your an amazing women, and you do handle your life well, so well!!!! You are going to be fine, your husband and your family are always in my prayers!!!

    Blessings,

    Steph

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  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited August 2011

    ((((hugs))))

    Given all that is going on, I'd be worried if you weren't letting out the occasional Whaaaa!

    Feel free to come and do that anytime!

    Thinking of you all. 

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  • jennyboog
    jennyboog Member Posts: 1,322
    edited August 2011

    We're here anytime with open arms and ears.  Hugs and prayers going your way sweetie.

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  • NancyD
    NancyD Member Posts: 3,562
    edited August 2011

    Cyber support coming from me. (((Hugs))). Maybe it's time for some mechanical help. There was a lift that they used for my dad when only one nurse was available. He wasn't very heavy, but the nurses have rules. Maybe your insurance will cover the rental of one for at home?

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  • apple
    apple Member Posts: 7,799
    edited August 2011

    aww spunky...

    i had a little serie of lessons from home health nurse into how to care and lift my MIL.. she was only 170 pounds.. very tall.  250 pounds is a lot to deal with tho.. I'd give them a call and make some different arrangements.  I can't imagine what you are dealing with.. jeez... 

    '

     I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

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  • Pure
    Pure Member Posts: 1,796
    edited August 2011

    Prayers and hugs Bobby..Your going through sooo much..You deserve to vent BIG TIME:) Were all here for you!

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  • SpunkyGirl
    SpunkyGirl Member Posts: 1,568
    edited August 2011

    You all are a RIOT!  I feel better already.

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  • Bugs
    Bugs Member Posts: 1,719
    edited August 2011

    If anybody can make me come out of my homework induced hibernation, it's you Bobbie!  Love you...and you can't dance on tables all the time..sometimes you have to take a break.  I like the idea of a mechanical lift that Nancy had.  Keeps him home with you, but helps you lift.

    smooches, girlie! 

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  • NancyD
    NancyD Member Posts: 3,562
    edited August 2011

    The lift was called something like a Hoyer lift. It had a large canvas sling on a metal arm that could swing over the bed. They'd slip the sling under the patient then attach it to the arm and crank them up, then swing it out over to a wheelchair and lower them into it (or a gurney if they were not able to sit).

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  • Ellie1959
    Ellie1959 Member Posts: 316
    edited August 2011
    My neighbor has one of those lifts for her husband and it is a Godsend. Her husband suffered a major stroke and she is home alone with him. I've always said, caretaker's are God's angels on earthInnocent. Big hugs for all you do for your DH- Ellie
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  • SpunkyGirl
    SpunkyGirl Member Posts: 1,568
    edited August 2011

    Thanks for the info on the Hoyer lift.  Hospice doesn't provide those, and they told me it would cost over a thousand dollars to purchase on.  Honestly, I never looked into it after that, but I'll go down to the local home medical store and ask some questions.  It would be worth it to keep him at home.

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  • nowords
    nowords Member Posts: 423
    edited August 2011

    You may be able to rent one...if you have decent insurance it will pay for them. If you have a great Dr. and medicare/medicaid you may be able to get him to do a write up to justify it.

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  • AnacortesGirl
    AnacortesGirl Member Posts: 1,758
    edited August 2011

    I hope something works out for you.  I know that us cancer girls are suppose to get our exercise but, come on, let's be real here.  You need a break!

    Hugs!!!!

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  • americanpinay
    americanpinay Member Posts: 338
    edited August 2011

    Prayers and hugs to you.

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  • SpunkyGirl
    SpunkyGirl Member Posts: 1,568
    edited August 2011

    Girls,

    He is so weak at this point that I talked to him and to the boys this evening about calling hospice tomorrow and getting him moved to the center.  Tonight, Harry (who is ten) and I used his wheelchair to get him to the bathroom, and it took a superhuman effort to get him in there (and out).  It's been a difficult decision, but it seems like the right thing to do.

    Please keep us in your prayers!
    Bobbie

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  • karen1956
    karen1956 Member Posts: 6,503
    edited August 2011

    ((((((((((((((((((Bobbie))))))))))))))))))))))

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  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited August 2011

    ((((((((((((((((((((Bobbie))))))))))))))))))))

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  • apple
    apple Member Posts: 7,799
    edited August 2011

    I'm sorry you've reached this point bobbie.. but hope you find peace in the mayhem of transition.  I'll keep you in my prayers.

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  • MaxineO
    MaxineO Member Posts: 555
    edited August 2011

    You are going through so much!

    I will keep your whole family in my prayers. Praying for peace in whatever decision must be made.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited August 2011

    Oh Spunky Bobbie, I'm so sorry you've reached this road with sweet DH. I've whispered a little prayer under my breath for you and  your family.  Please take a few moments for yourself today, and try to renew a little spunk.

    image

    Barb

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  • Claire_in_Seattle
    Claire_in_Seattle Member Posts: 4,570
    edited August 2011

    O gosh....  I am so sorry. 

    I am so glad though that you are getting help at this point.  We are so lucky to live in a day and age when this sort of help is available.  My grandmother went it alone for at least four of her relatives, and I now realize how very difficult this must have been for her.

    Prayers all around. - claire

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  • Bugs
    Bugs Member Posts: 1,719
    edited August 2011

    Oh honey...{{{hugs}}}  I am sorry.  This may give you the opportunity to just shower him with love and not have to worry about his physical needs.  This must have been a hard decision for you, I'm sure.

    Love you and you and your family are always in my prayers! 

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  • kimber3006
    kimber3006 Member Posts: 586
    edited August 2011

    You are truly one of the most amazing people I've ever met.  I love what Bugs said, that this frees you up just "shower him with love".   Sending hugs and prayers your way!

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