Here's what cheezed me off today

rohanna:  Thank you for your kind words.  My friend and I have "sort of" made up.  People certainly can be weird at times.  Maybe they think cancer is contagious.  As of today, I have 14 rads down and 19 to go.  Getting near the halfway mark.  Good luck with the TPing!

Happy Tuesday Everyone!  It's been quiet in this group so I'm guessing all the stars are aligned and the cheeze factor is at a minimum.  This is my last week before my kids go back to school and my surgery.  Love the "tag" game rohanna :-).

Anyone have trouble deciding who to tell and who not too? Mainly my close friends and family know what's happening with me, but I haven't mentioned it to the "ladies" at school.  It's the strangest feeling to be talking with someone about the new school year and be all matter of fact knowing they have no idea what's happening with me.

It's funny... at the end of the school year, I specially didn't take on any chairperson positions because I was thinking that I had no idea what was to come in my life and didn't want to commit.  I couldn't even imagine being PTA president or something else now with what's to come.

Okay, so maybe my cheeze of the day is, "Who do I tell and will I be comfortable knowing people may talk about me when I'm not around?  Of course they may do that already :-), but now I would know they were for sure."

Rockym, I'm an aide in an elementary school.  Because I live in a small town (about 5,000)  and the school system is small, (meaning the gossip flies around fast, lol)  I knew everyone would find out anyway.  So I was open to letting everyone know.(However, I'm stage iv and I only told that part to family members).  That way, instead of talking behind my back, they were just able to come to me and ask how I was.

I was diagnosed in Jan, had chemo Feb thru June.  Worked when I could.  Everyone seemed very understanding.  But now, this summer, after my lumpectomy and soon to follow radiation, I just don't feel like talking about my health to everyone.  I want/need a break from the focus being on my health.  Yes, I deal with it when necessary, but other than that, I want to escape it and be distracted from it.  I go back to work in a couple weeks and not looking forward to all the questions. 

So I'd say it's a mixed bag when you decide who to tell.  Now when people, even family, asks about my health, I give a short update and change the subject.  I know everyone means well, but I can only take so much. 

rohanna, there's a principal in our school system who has similar traits to the one you describe, so I can't blame you for retiring since you were able. 

rohanna:  What your husband said to you was so hurtful.  I am sorry that you have to endure all this. No one can understand the impact that cancer has on your life until they are actually diagnosed with this dreadful disease, but we have the right to expect our husbands to be our biggest cheerlearders. You always have a support system here.

rohanna... what can I say... men suck!  It's hard to ignore their bullshit comments.  I'm sorry he didn't take a breath to think before just spouting dribble out.  As for the mom and money deal... what's up with that???  You are probably the 5th person who has mentioned husbands sending $$ to their moms.  Even my husband has this weird idea we should give his mom or sister $$.  I'm glad I hold the checkbook because neither really deserve anything more than a birthday gift once a year.  Maybe next time you could tell him "you know, when you say that crap it really shows your colors."  Perhaps that will get him to think twice.

My husband was picking on me the other day.  I happen to like lights on in our house because I like it bright and he runs around shutting them off so we can save electricity.  Now, we are pretty comfortable so we don't need to save a $ and he isn't some environmentalist, but he was "reminding" me about leaving the lights on and a few other things I have forgotten these days.

I looked him in the eye and said, "Don't you think I have more important things on my mind these days then your bullshit lights?"  Score 1 for rocky!  He shut up quick and behaved today :-).  Men suck!

OMG!! Passive/aggressive is the word alright.  My MIL claims poverty too.  She set herself up so that her daughter pays for almost everything (except they keep a ledger to keep track... ya right).  As if his mom will ever pay his sister back.  She also messed up her other son and unfortunately we can't even have a relationship with either of his siblings.  One is toxic and the other is just a spinster who is afraid of so many things it isn't funny.  I do have to say that yes, although men do suck... at least mine did come out okay with what he had to endure growing up.  I think in the 27 years that I have tried to shape him, I succeeded somewhat :-).  Of course, I'm still going to leave my f--king lights on!

My son just hit 13 and so far he is a doll.  I'm hoping your theory is for the boys of our generation.  My son makes sure to get at least 6 hugs from me a day (his number :-)) and overall he is extremely thoughtful.  I'm hoping that I'm raising him to be a better man than those who can before him :-).

rohanna, You always crack me up!  Sounds like we have similar lives in some ways although my hubby really pulled it together.  Last night I had emergency surgery since I developed a nasty hematoma from my lumpectomy.  Needless to say, It was quite an experience, but today he actually helped me shower and wash my hair.  I had no idea I was going to have a drain sticking out of me.  This is the 2nd time this happened.  Had it on the 1st biopsy, but it went away on it's own and then I was cool for the 2nd biopsy so I figure the first Dr. just messed up.  Last night when I realized it looked like I had a 3rd breast growing, I knew something was wrong.  Anyway, all is better and hubby, my son and daughter are really helping out.

How old is your daughter?  Thanks for the compliment about my son.  I have to be careful these days to control my potty mouth around him.  I have had much looser lips since this whole boob thing started.  Must be a SE!

Thanks for your thoughts rohanna and Elizabeth.  MO appointment wasn't what I wanted to hear.  Looking forward to my RO on Thursday.  MO just went straight to the chemo talk without even talking about any less aggressive treatment first.  Oh well.  I suppose I'm off for a 2nd MO opinion.  Elizabeth, your dx looks close to mine... did they throw the chemo discussion at you right away?

Okay, now for the "What someone did to tick me off today."  There I was getting some groceries when I realized that I was at the checkout counter and had 2% milk instead of 1%.  Anyway, I mentioned that I made a mistake and could they send someone back to swap them out.  As I was waiting, the line behind me was getting longer.  After a few minutes, I told the checkout lady that I could have gone back and exchanged them myself already.

So I wait some more.  Finally, a worker comes with one bottle, not the two needed and has the wrong stuff with her.  I had 15 minutes to get my groceries home and get off to the MO appointment so I slipped with my potty mouth (again) and said, "F--k!  How hard can this be?"  Then I walked to the back and did it myself.  The worker was still standing there not being able to figure out how to tell the difference between the different types of milk.  I looked at her and said, "A high school diploma comes in handy sometime!"  She wasn't even one of the "slow/disabled" people they have working there.  Man I was ticked.  As if I wasn't nervous and on edge already.

So, the moral of the story... Don't go grocery shopping when you are crunched for time and have an important appointment to get to :-).

Hi Rockym:  What a miserable grocery store experience.  I hope your next trip there will be better.

Yes, we do have similar diagnoses and I hope we will both have excellent prognoses.  I saw my BS before the I saw the MO after the pathology report unexpectedly found a positive lymph node.  He pushed for chemo and called the MO who agreed with him.  They did not have to convince me because I felt in my gut that it was necessary for me.  Everyone is different and it may not be the best route for you.  If you do choose chemo, it might not be so bad.  My side effects were controllable and the infusion nurses were incredibly kind. 

Rockym:  With us, you can vent as much as you like.  We are always here for you.  Good luck with you Oncotype test.