May 2010 Chemo

Njbhwgirl:  Yes, I am with you on your thoughts.  Prayerfully Jenn's and/or Cameron's parents live within a reasonable distance -- if not perhaps, Cameron can relocate near one of them because little Connor definitely needs more than just a "day care" setting right now.  I think I read that they had moved to that area because of Jenn's job and yes, losing a salary and benefits is a harsh thing.  Prayerfully her work had a life insurance plan to help with some costs -- whew!  Life's harsh realities.  I mailed out the package of miscellaneous little toys I had already gathered for Connor and mailed it onto Cameron with a little small letter explaining myself so he wouldn't think I was a wacky lady (which I am but you know).  I encouraged him to take care of himself as well.  I think the love will continue to flow to them by their friends/family/community like the love we've felt here.  So much love came when family/friends learned of breast cancer and it is by that type of love, that to me, we each have gotten this far in our recovery.  I will keep them in my prayers too for the next several months / years will be a difficult time for them all.  To me the pink ribbon will always have the additional meaning of Jenn's courage -- pushing more to help others as she reached out to each of us even when she was facing such a harsh reality that she was well aware of her own condition.  Amazing lady!  God bless you Jenn and your loved ones left her to carry on!

Sending love to EACH of you!  I, too, am thankful for you guys!  Thank you for sharing this journey.

I'm trying to get a inspirational video to post -- I'll try again -- if not it is on the http://www.thebreastcancersite.com/ (video #685).  It won't let me attach.    {In 2004 singer Melissa Etheridge was diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent a lumpectomy, five rounds of chemotherapy, and radiation therapy. But her battle against breast cancer didn't diminish her incredible talent -- in 2005 she wrote and recorded "I Run for Life," an anthem for the fight against breast cancer.}  It is an awesome video -- so go search for it on this site.  Much love to each of you and your families -- none of this has been easy and it hurts to know of someone losing their life and not being a survivor!  (Still makes me get sad and cry about our Jenn.)  Yes, we get to claim her because she touched our lives so she gets to be our Jenn -- the one to encourage us to love on and press on and make her walk here on the board one that mattered too!  HUGS!

Day:  Hugs -- I can understand your need to do that because it is unbearable to read and learn that our friends aren't on here just complaining and commiserating with us.  I was struggling with "survivor guilt" -- I guess you call it that -- because why take someone who is so young with child and full life ahead and here I am 54 years old and I've raise my son (he is 31 -- happily married -- doing well) and pretty much feel I have done a good job with that role.  I don't know it is awfully confusing and painful!  I can understand the run away thought -- truly!  Sometimes you do have to unplug to survive the hurting heart -- for a while!  HUGS!

P.S.  Day -- love your hair -- WOW -- look at it!  You are looking good and I know you'll be glad when it is real long again.  It sure does seem like mine is taking a long time to grow but am glad to have the wash and go curls.    Much love to everyone -- I stayed home today due to being so very tired -- I am guessing allergies but sometimes we do wonder why the body just wants to STOP!  LOVE you all!

Jen~ I will be there today  I can't wait to meet you in person, dear warrior sister!

packjen: hope your nips are great!!

Daiva; were you able to hook up with the other ladies?

Let me know how it went and if you got to sail down to inner harbor.. Nice place.

 btw, my tattoos still good....curious as to how the 3d came out

I know I tell tooo many stories.... I hope I didn't get carried away. You guys were so great, it was one of the most fun days I have had tattooing ever!  I hope everyone healed well and looks great. I hope someone else like Jen can put together another nipfest.... NIPFEST 2 !!! When is it gonna happen.... or in what town?  

Thanks again ladies for a fun day of tattin and healin..... you al taught me a lot!     

they sold it 15 minutes before I got there.... I'm still looking now..... guess it wasn't meant for me.....:(

Daiva -- I had a blast meeting you too.  If any of you ladies needs nips, Vinnie is THE MAN!  The really cool thing about a group of us going is that we got to watch the others get done.  Each woman is different -- different size, different color.  The 3D effect is amazing.  I have been flashing friends and family and even one of the flight attendants on the flight home.  She was really interested in my whole saga and I was so excited about my nips that I asked her if she wanted to see.  Well the answer was yes so I dragged her into the lavatory.  Tight squeeze!

Since coming home I have started the keyboarding portion of my court reporter training.  Oh my but this is going to be hard!  Each word or syllable is done with one stroke -- sometimes using 5 or 6 fingers at once, like a chord on a piano.  I have to practice a minimum of 3 hours per day plus go to class for 2 1/2 hours.  In addition I need to fit in my workouts.  As of today I have lost 24 pounds!  Only 26 more before December, 2012 (the big five-oh).

The girls start back to school next week and won't find out who their teachers are until Friday afternoon.  They do it that way so you don't have time to complain before school starts on Monday morning.

My next door neighbor's pancreatic cancer has spread to her lungs.  We just lost another neighbor in July to BC and it is so hard to see another wonderful woman's life cut short.  Her son is going away to college in a week or so and he wanted to re-home his corn snake.  Guess who now has a corn snake?  My girls renamed him Elvisssssss  (their second choice was William Snakespeare -- where do they come up with these things?).  He's a beautiful snake.

Hey Summer, definitely keep trying to find a Camp Kesem near you.  My girls had such a wonderful time and talk about it all the time.  They can't wait to go back next year.

Well, that's it for now.

Love to you all, Sisters.

Jen

Packjen:  Your post made me smile!  People aren't sure of folks who've had breast cancer and how it changes us -- makes us more accessable on many levels!    Truly sharing with others, I think helps take away some of the fear and the stigma of things.  GO GIRL!  Yes, hearing of losing people to cancer -- makes us so sad but I am glad you took in the sssnake!  Your girls are cute with the names!  Good luck with the court reporting training!  I wish I could "hear" all the sounds of words because I've been a legal secretary for 31+ years and court reporting would be somewhat easier in my making my own hours.  Happy to hear you are doing well -- losing weight.  You GO GIRL there too!  I need to lose about 20 myself as I've pick up some since being on Arimidex.   Glad you all got your tats done like you like.  (Since I didn't have to go that route, I am enjoying my little running dachshund with the pink ribbon on my ankle.  My Dad saw it and well -- he is of the old school and said "I forgive you as it was probably the chemo that did it."  It made me laugh.)  I think all of us should just be OUTRAGEOUS because life is unpredictable and we need to JUST LIVE IT TO THE FULLEST each and every day!  Each one of us offers hope for anyone still struggling!  You each have a wonderful day and do something that makes you have a BIG SMILE on your face -- even if it is a little devious smile!  After all if Packjen can take in a ssssnake, what can the rest of us do to top that -- oh my! 

Kim - I think your dad has given you an out.  "It's because of the chemo" can be your new excuse for just about anything!

Summer - I have been going to the gym about 4x per week since January.  The first 20 pounds was cancer weight -- that was fairly easy to get off.  The rest is weight that I have been carrying around for about 15 years now.  In addition to exercise I have cut back on bread (most sandwiches are now open face or on a tortilla) and I will often have an apple or a bowl of oatmeal for dessert instead of the cookies and ice cream the rest of the family is having.  I think if I keep getting up early and going to the gym before school I'll be able to lose the weight because there is no eating in class so I generally have a yogurt and an apple for breakfast/lunch.  I do trade off though.  Fewer calories during the day allows me to have 2 cocktails at night!

Vinnie - keep me posted as to a left coast journey.  Michelle from AZ tells me you are thinking of having traveling NipFests.  You would make a LOT of women happy that way.  I know that's your goal in life.  Sorry that they sold the car out from under you.  I believe that you will find a better car or a better deal.  Bright side!

Jen

njbhwgirl:  Yikes on the LE hurting you!  You pushed yourself too hard.  I know your son appreciated all of your help though -- sounds like a neat thing -- renting a home with the others.  Hope you get to feeling better with it!  Packjen:  Keep us posted about the ELVISSS.    We need the humor still!  Summer38:  I am with you -- I don't recognize myself either --- or I see a picture and go GOOD GRIEF that's me!  So I try not to overfocus but recognize I need to drop the pounds.  I am coming off eating so much bread too -- hoping that will help jump start me losing some of the weight. 

Hey everyone -- on another subject -- anyone baseball fans -- my nephew -- JACOB GILES (# 14) for (Warner Robins, Georgia) Southeast is playing tonight at 8:00 on ESPN for the Little League World Series Games (11 - 12 year olds).  My family is so excited for him.  I am the BRAGGING aunt and telling everyone to watch.  They play 6 innings and he sometimes pitches/short stop and/or third base.  Tune in if you like baseball -- it is fun to watch these young guys.  Jacob is a wonderful person and totally loves the sport -- they are living part of their dream!    The games will go through next week before the World Series leader is determined from the 15 teams that are there in Williamsport, PA.  (National and International teams)

Yes, they are.  Georgia lost 0-2 to Louisana but Georgia plays again on Saturday at 3:00 p.m.  All the games are televised and they have various games through next Sunday (8/28).  Jacob pitched last night.  It was soo cool.  The website is http://www.baseballfactory.com/LLWS/Southeast/Jacob_Giles.  It will show my nephew on this particular one but you can go back and move around and see other teams and schedules and all.  Such an exciting time for all these players and their families and support system.  This Little League is handled by all volunteers -- doesn't cost anything to go to the game or anything -- pretty amazing sponsors and volunteers!    Thanks!  Truly these guys are amazing -- their talent at such a young age!  Fun to watch because they so much want to do this! 

Love the stories of the tattoos. I keep saying I want to get my husbands name on me. Some place discreet...he put my name in a heart on his arm 38 years ago! Maybe I will get the courage now,



Kim, I love Little League, my home town Toms River NJ won several years back, very exciting. Congrats to your family!



Anyone see GMA with the new song byMartina Mcbride, "I'm Gonna Love You Through It", It is amazing. All of us have people who have helped us through our ordeal. I highly recommend you google her at GMA, but get some tissues.

My friends you have all helped me through this...stay well!