Alternative Health Supporters' Haven
I've always wanted to share personal news and friendship with like minded people so this seems to be the right place to do that. It's for friendship and chat.
I'd like to make it a place where there is no gossip, negativity or cryptic remarks about other people or threads. Positive references are fine, but I want to keep it a happy and respectful haven.
I might change the details as the thread unfolds but the "no gossip" part will always apply.
Please limit pictures to one a day unless of course you have your own photo's of your family or a special trip to share. This will keep the number of posts manageable.
Comments
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I have good news and bad news so I'm not sure what to start with. Maybe the good.
My eldest son has been working for a small start-up computer technology company. Their company is built around one idea and after a year they have produced a small video demonstrating the 100,000 times improvement in graphics that their system produces in video games and probably all animation. The secret is they don't use polygons to draw like all other systems do. I can't tell you more as it's a trade secret. They hope to start production in a year.
It's his first "real" job apart from casual work while at university and a gap year job after school. We're very much geeks at home as hubby is a retired computer programmer / analyst and my other son is studying computer graphics / art. We started our family late! Better late than never.
Welcome to everyone who cares to join us, I look forward to some fun and interesting conversations.
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Thank you so much Joy for starting this thread. I have been looking for a haven, a sanctuary, a refugium on BCO where I could share with like minded sisters in peace and serenity. I pray I have found it here
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Joy,
Happy for the good news, and sad to hear of your MIL's passing. Peace to you in the next few days as you deal with the family events.Thank you for starting this thread!
P.S. My background: Married, 3 kiddos (9,5,3) American of French Canadian descent married to an Aussie! I work full time (starting next week, when I start my new job), and try to enjoy life to its fullest. I had lost sight of that before my Dx, but I try to live every moment with vigor, enjoying ALL OF IT. Life is precious, and not a moment to be wasted!!!
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joy, wishing you every success with this thread, as someone else said, your dinner parties would be inspiring and interesting. i will pull up a chair here, and look forward to future discussions. take care during this hard time for your family.
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Hi Joy, thank you for starting this thread and a nice start too.
[Would you believe my middle son's first job was with a start up company, though that was 15 years ago when it was much easier. It's wonderful that it's still possible for individuals to develop ideas forward into production. Wow. My other two sons are also in the industry, and my husband was a programmer/analyst starting in the 1960's]
I changed my profile photo. My husband and I have a large touring motorcycle, I ride up back. We have done a lot of long distance touring and last year at this time we heading out to Saskatchewan when this photo was taken. I was 4 months post chemo and still had very little hair but it sure felt great to be able to wear a baseball cap instead of wig or scarf. I even went topless at the rally dinner when the temperature got hot. My husband also has cancer and had major surgery just before me so this trip meant a lot to both of us. We had a wonderful time.
This year it is different. My husband's cancer has progressed--stage iv--mets to the liver--taxatore--, my mind is in a turmoil, and to keep sane I am spending a lot of time, perhaps too much time on BCO, mostly reading, including the stage IV forum. It helps, it really does.So I don't know how much I will be actually contributing to the conversations Joy, but I will try, and wanted to let you all know that I am sitting here over in the corner listening.
Kathy
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Kathy, I'm so sorry for your husbands' progression. I hope you can indeed find comfort and distraction here. You'll always be welcome here.
Welcome also to Luan, Marianna and that's-life.
My MIL passed away yesterday at lunch time. We had arrived an hour or so earlier after picking up her sister who she's been close to all their lives. She had been unconscious for a day or two and it was hard to see her fighting for every breath. We had been sent out by the nurses while they tidied her up and moved her position and while we were in the cafe she passed away. We then spent some time together talking and crying. It was a very healing time and we went back to aunt-in-law's house for tea.
My brother-in-law has spent the last 20 years caring for her and being tied to their house. She had a hip replacement plus rheumatoid arthritis that kept her almost completely house bound and barely able to move with the help of a walker. BIL didn't let anyone else give him relief as she had special needs that only he seemed able to give. I guess she didn't like anyone else to toilet her.
He's now 67 and his life has disappeared. The land he bought when he was made redundant from his job over 20 years ago can no longer be built on as it's been rezoned. I fear he will go downhill now. Hubby is there today keeping him company. He took my wi-fi along in the hope of converting his brother to the joys and pitfalls of the internet. Maybe a new start is possible for my BIL.
Sorry for the gloomy post. I'll be better after a decent sleep.
4pm in Eastern Australia.
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thankyou for the welcome joy. i hope you are relaxing.
A little bit about me?...47, daughter 13 in her first year at high school. Both of my parents died, my father when i was 26, my mother a few years ago. I have one brother, who was living in Japan until recently, but now lives in the tropics in far north queensland.
My mother had bowel cancer when i was 13 years old...so i know what my daughter must be feeling...
You may be interested to hear this: i saw a gynocologist yesterday, to schedule keyhole surgery to remove my ovaries, should be in about 8 weeks he said...anyway, he asked if there was a family history of breastcancer, i said 'no, but my mother had bowel cancer when i was a child'....he said 'aaahhh', i asked why, he said that research is showing that there is a correlation between breast, bowel and ovarian cancer..interesting, if that means there may be a genetic component. He asked if he could do an ultrasound on the spot, as he expected my ovaries to show 'lumps and bumps'...yikes...but all was clear and ovaries looked normal...
my friend bought me a gift yesterday, ian gawler's book, i cried...will let you know what i think after reading it...take care all, and kathy, im sorry to hear what you are going through. im glad the stage IV board helps you
(hi marianna, hi luan..:)
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This was us in Christmas 2009. At the front is MIL, then BIL, Aunt and then... OMG, who is that young women in the chemo wig? I'm only 5'1" but look tall next to some of my tiny relatives.Photo deleted to protect my identity.
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Joy, I'm so sorry about your MIL's suffering. It must have been very difficult for you and your family to witness, and I hope it is of some comfort to know that her suffering is behind her now. You have my deepest sympathies during this time.
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hi rainbow, my mother spent 6 weeks in hospital too, i would iron my father's shirts each morning, polish his shoes, get my brother and i off to school...when mum came home she was frail and on morphine. she started a support group for people with cancer in our town. it is called the Cancer Aftercare Group. It has now raised millions of dollars, and alot of it has gone towards a cancer treatment center in my town. prior to this center, which, ironically, i now attend, patients had to travel to the capital city for treatment. Her support group also financed accomodation for rural families who need to stay in our town
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Thats-life, I imagine if your mother knew her support group would help you two decades later, she would have been so honoured, even though we'd all rather not be in this club.
Welcome Althea and Rainbow. Sorry Rainbow and thats-life that you both had that huge disruption to your childhood. I don't think any of us have an easy life. As John Lennon said so well, Life's what happens while you're busy making other plans.
Was anyone else here a Beatles fan back then? I think I was 12 when they started getting popular and bought a new era to popular music and so much more. I was never a screamer though. Maybe I'm the oldest here at errr... say it quick, 60.
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rp, 6 people came to her first meeting, there are now 100's of members. She was proud, she was made a Life Governor of the hospital here, whatever that means lol..She used to go to Melbourne to argue with the Minister for Health for funding to expand the hospital's services here. I suppose i am proud of her, it was such a part of my life, i didnt think about it in that way....I was always busy playing 'mother'. and telling her to slow down, tried to stop her playing tennis only months after she had recovered from surgery lol..she didnt listen, she had a second chance at life, and went for it
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Hi Joylieswithin,
I am really so happy that BCO created this new Forum for alternative topics only.
I also would like to start anew by reintroducing myself -- and I hope that the moderators and other BCO members will allow me to share my views (promising to comply with Community Rules.
I am based in Singapore and is a primary caregiver of my 60 year old mother who was diagnosed with Stage 2B Breast Cancer in January 2010-- she had mastectomy in February 2010, but was on alternative therapies since then. I am a single mother to a 5 year old child... just like most of you I need support and camaraderie-- I hope that I will be given the chance..this is me and my daugher. regards rainshed.
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Hi Rainshed, I hope this thread will provide friendship and support to all who are interested in alternative therapies.
How was your trip to the Philippines? Was your mother able to return with you? Looking forward to hearing your news.
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Joy, sorry to hear about your MIL. Were you able to see her before she passed away?
Love your pic rainshed. Miss you.
This thread looks promising
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hi Joy and Eve,
For some reason, I always encounter problems posting here at BCO.
Anyway, I was able to bring my mother back to Singapore, her long term pass was granted last 6th July. The trip to the Philippines was productive.
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Rainshed, So glad your mother got a long term pass. She needs your support and companionship and to be near her dear granddaughter.
Evebarry, We weren't with her for long when they sent us away while they tidied her up and turned her. She wasn't conscious and was struggling for every breath which was hard to watch. BIL stated he didn't want to see her take her last breath so it was better that when we returned she had just passed on. It's almost as if she waited for her sister and other son to see her before she was able to go.
BIL is in deep grief but completely unsentimental about the funeral. He doesn't want flowers, photo's, doesn't care about music, no extras at all. He's letting us pick the music with help from her sister so at least we won't have "lift music".
We had to talk him into phoning his children and it turns out they want to come to the funeral so that's a relief. Some live a long distance away.
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Joy:
Thank you for starting this thread. I am sorry to hear about your MIL. I know this is a most difficult time for you.
Thatslife: Your mom is a truly amazing person.
Hopefully, this thread will remain a heaven for all of us.
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Thank You joy for starting this thread. My mother died of breast cancer in 1964. I miss her so much. The treatment in those days was brutal. She out lived her dx by 5 grueling years. I miss her unconditional love. Ive never felt that since. It was no surprise to me when I was dx....New to internet. Just got my computer (second hand and old) so just learning how to navigate, especielly this site. Don't know if I belong here, cuz I had chemo, Mastectomy, and radiation. They tried me on aremidex (could not due hercepton, due to CHF from chemo) but decided after 2 yrs. on aremidex that I did not want to continue SE were brutal had no quality of life. Decided quality not quanity was better choice for me. So watching what I eat and exercise have been better choice for me. So sorry to hear about your MIL Joy. Thanks again for this thread.......Kiley
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Welcome Kiley. Most of us here, if not all, had conventional treatments. Until a cure is found, surgery seems to be the most essential and successful treatment and it's mostly the adjuvant treatments that we seek to replace with gentler methods, but this thread is for fun and friendship and all are welcome.
I'm sorry about your mother. At my MIL's funeral the celebrant read out a piece about mothers and my son hugged me tight. One day probably he'll be a parent too and the circle of life continues.
How exciting to be new to the internet. I love the way I can research almost anything and find answers if they exist, and I'm a big fan of Google earth and the street views. I have no sense of direction and get lost a lot so being able to look on google street view at any new places I need to navigate helps me so much.
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Hi Joy and everyone! So good to "see" you again rainshed. I love seeing pics of our "cyberfriends." Enjoyed yours, Joy, and your Rainshed. Good thread....looking forward to reading more!
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I visited my mother in her aged care facility yesterday. Her memory comes and goes, she remembers important things better than simple everyday things. After a year she still tries to give me her washing even though my sister does it apart from her sheets which I do. She forgets whether one of her brothers is still alive though she was fond of him. She has no idea why she is there and not in her own home, or why she can no longer drive.
Yesterday she shocked me when, out of the blue, she asked how my brother in law was coping now that his mum has passed away. He's been her carer for twenty years. I hadn't mentioned it for a week so she had retained that information despite her brain being pretty damaged. At last I know for sure she cares, as my siblings have a less generous view of her.
It's strange how dementia shows people's true colours as their ability to suppress their true thoughts diminishes and they make impulsive statements. She can't understand why it's upsetting when she calls people fat or chubby to their face! I tried to reason with her a few times but her reasoning has gone too. I'm learning a lot about staying in the moment and always looking for something happy to talk about to take her mind off her distressing situation. Also her mood can change dramatically depending on how I'm feeling so I try to get all enthused and happy to pass that on to her. Earlier in her illness we would all get aggravated with her and it would end in a huge upset. I'm still trying to get my siblings to see how they can so easily distract her so that everyone wins rather than getting drawn into an unwinnable conflict that hurts everyone. I just have to leave them to it as I can't influence them. I guess my parents were both treated the way they taught us to treat people in the end and it's too late for anyone to change.
Does anyone else have a parent that needs care?
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My father told me very emphatically that he would never have married my mother if he had known she would die before him! Wise words of a 90-year old.
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Does he live on his own? Often the one left behind has to take on new responsibilities so that's an added stress on top of the loss.
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He has no responsibilities. He's happy with three women taking care of him in our family home in the Philippines. I guess he just misses my mom and resents her for that.
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I haven't been on here much this last week as I've been busy setting up my new tablet computer. I love it but I keep losing the stylus.
My aunt phoned from Canada as she is going through scanxiety (not BC) and thought I would be the only one who understands. If the biopsy is positive she wants to forego chemo as it would add time but not quality. I think she'll change her mind when she sees the prognosis with and without chemo. Anyway it's too early to think about treatments.
She bought an iPad with the help of her daughter as she's almost blind but she needs help to set up the voiceover which gives spoken help, reads emails etc. If I could I'd fly over to help her but that's not likely to happen.
Meanwhile I'm researching and getting lots of similar information from different sources in regards to diet, anti-oxidants and many diseases. I hope the reason why some people are healed through diet and others aren't is now on the verge of being discovered.
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you are a great researcher jlw
i hope they are close to understanding it too...i still look forward to your ideas/info/ summaries finding a place here on bco. good luck with your ipad...are you enjoying it? i am thinking of buying one...does it work well for research/saving docs/ etc...my daughter said it doesnt have a usb port, or a port for printer etc? is that correct? lol re the stylus! -
That's Life, it's not an iPad, it's a full windows 7 tablet computer as I wanted to be able to use other applications and the iPad is more of a media computer. So I can't tell you if iPads are any good for research etc. My aunt bought an iPad but it's not going well as she needs a lot of help. And yes, iPads need to be linked to a Mac or PC to input any files, programs etc that can't be downloaded from the net. No USB is crazy!
I wrote a bit about my research on the "stop SUGAR support thread" in the "Fitness and Getting Back in Shape" forum. It's basically about the research on your Alt stage IV thread about starving cancer with a low energy diet and taking antioxidants to stop the cancer switching to glycolysis to get it's energy. I'm trying to write a summary of the different studies and still researching the best sources of anti-oxidants. I'll put it on your thread as soon as I can get it done.
My son is home from Brisbane for the day so I'm relaxing. I've also been trying to help hubby dig the veggie garden which we should have done in winter. In the middle of this we had major plumbing problems and water heater problems. Hopefully they will run well now for another 10 years or so.
I'm planning to put in rows of parsley as it's a good anti-oxidant, along with the usual tomatoes etc. Last year most of my crop failed so I'm using lots of compost and fertiliser this year. Do you have a garden or are you in an apartment?
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jlw, i have a house and a garden, but its such a structured garden there is no room for a vege patch, which i regret...so i have a number of big terracotta pots, organic soil, and am growing kale, cherry tomatoes, basil, parsley, and a variety of lettuces...soon i will be able to start picking off the fresh leaves
ive never eaten kale before, so am looking up recipes! -
At least pots are easier to keep weed free. We have kikuyu grass that overruns everything. I've never seen kale or kale seeds but wanted to buy some. I keep meaning to look online. I'm wondering if the rabbits ate my food last year so I'll put up netting this year. I'm determined to do a better job this year after the last two failed miserably.
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