MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

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  • LovesChristmas-Barb
    LovesChristmas-Barb Member Posts: 706
    edited August 2011

    I need to go to a gynecologist and I am majorly dreading it. I went through a lot 25 years ago trying to get pregnant and now I just have this phobia about going. I keep reading on here about women's experiences with the TVUS and endometrial biopsies and I just cringe. Those biopsies sound downright barbaric to me. I can't believe they do that to women without giving you some happy medicine. I saw my MO this morning and she told me that I have to go before she can decide on what to recommend for hormonal therapy.

    It makes me want to forget about doing the hormonal therapy though I know I shouldn't. 

    Sorry to dump here...I just need to vent to somebody...

  • koalakid39
    koalakid39 Member Posts: 42
    edited August 2011

    Barb....venting is good! I know I do my share! I absolutely HATE going to the gyn, even when I was pregnant......hormone therapy isn't going to be any fun, but the way I look at it is....I have 6 grandbabies by marriage and my girls are only 13 and 17, I really want to be around for them....I will do whatever it takes to be here for them.  Several people have asked why I'm going to do chemo since my nodes were clear and the tumor was small, but I'm 45 and because of my age, it was suggested to me. I am dredding it big time! Hang in there.....

  • jo1955
    jo1955 Member Posts: 8,543
    edited August 2011

    Barb - I have to say that both my TVUS and biospy were a piece of cake.  The TVUS was done in myGYN's office and for the biopsy, he did it at the hosp and had me completely knocked out.  He told me in advance I did not want to be awake for it.  The procedure was outpatient surgery and once I got home I had no pain, no bleeding.  Rested on Sunday and was back to work on Monday.  I would do the biopsy again if I had to with no hesitation.  Let me throw in here that I sure hope I don't have to do anything like that again but I am on Tamox for the nex 4 1/2 years.

    koalakid - Congrats on the good news!  So glad you don't have to do any further testing or procedures right now.  We are put through so much and there is a time when enouugh is enough. 

  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited August 2011

    koalakid39, who needs the additional GYN drama on top of B/C?  Can't we get a break already?

    Barb58,  I always told myself that if I really hated hormone therapy or the side effects, I could quit.  So at least do give it a try, you might tolerate it very well. 

  • Paula66
    Paula66 Member Posts: 1,728
    edited August 2011

    koalakid39  I totally understand. I had just finished chemo, then I started the Tamoxifen.  I did what I was suppose to as far as tests and bam 2 biopses since the middle of June.  I have had enough for now.  Good luck with the tamoxifen. 

  • LovesChristmas-Barb
    LovesChristmas-Barb Member Posts: 706
    edited August 2011

    I don't mind trying the taxomifen though I'm not crazy about the idea. I just have a major phobia about gynecologists! The ones I've been to in the past have all been jerks and I always have a difficult time "relaxing" when they're examining me and they keep telling me to relax. 

    I'm glad to hear Jo that you were able to have your biopsy while you were knocked out. I could definitely handle that.

    Thanks for the encouragement ladies!

  • Foxlairfrm
    Foxlairfrm Member Posts: 214
    edited August 2011

    Not taking any hormone meds sounds like heaven! I really can't remember what it feels like to be normal. (ok...I'm not normal,I know). Life without hot flashes! Wow, wouldn't that be nice. Not to mention feeling like a woman. ;). If ya know what I mean. I never got back to "normal" after chemo and tamoxifen. Now Femara. Fun fun!

    Foxy

    Whining a little today. DH better find work, I'm not used to him being home.

  • heartnsoul76
    heartnsoul76 Member Posts: 1,648
    edited August 2011

    reesie - my son showed me that cartoon last night, too. It's called XKCD - the cartoonist is actually a physicist, and he quit his day job to do this. Last fall, his fiancee was diagnosed with Stage 3 BC, and after a few months of sporadic cartoons he wrote a really nice post to explain to his fans what was going on. It was the best description of the life of a BC patient that I had ever read - written by a man, no less! - that I forwarded it to some of my dense friends....they still don't get it, not like this guy does. 

    Elimar - I just do not agree with smashing up a breast that had a tumor removed. It just doesn't seem like a good idea, so I was able to talk myself into having a breast MRI instead, but since that would have been out-of-pocket I sighed and said, okay to the mammo this past April. I totally regretted it! They're acting like they're confused about the "architectural" changes (duh, it had a tumor removed from the last time), so I have to have one more this fall to confirm everything is the same and next year, I'm just going to pay OOP. I didn't get the broken capillaries, but it did excaberate my breast edema - it's just slight - and that's my excuse from now on. It just seems counter-intuitive to smash our BC breasts.

    I chose a female GYN about 10 years ago, hoping for a "kinder, gentler" gynecologist. She's very thorough, and I just found out she was voted one of Atlanta's top gynecologists, out of about 15 in the whole, huge ATL area. They rate them every year in Atlanta Magazine. My radiation oncologist and endocrynologist (for an adenoma they found on my adrenal gland) were on the list, too. Usually my MO is on it, but she didn't make it this time. That's okay, I still trust her - LOL.

  • naralaca
    naralaca Member Posts: 3
    edited August 2011

    Hi everyone, Just joined today because I thought it might help me to talk to other women dealing with breast cancer. I was diagnosed last Sept with stage 2 breast cancer, had surgery to remove my tumor which went well and my margins and nodes were clean. I was a candidate for the MammoSite 5-Day Targeted Radiation which went well and then 4 months of chemo. Just had my 6 month checkup and my TM were 35.9. I am married and have 2 grown kids (32 and 30) and 1 granddaughter who is 10 mos old. I live 3 states and 8 hours away from my family so it's hard to cope sometimes. I am currently taking Aromasin for the past 2 months after starting with Femara. I could not take Femara any more. I felt like I was trapped in the body of a 90 year old arthritic woman. The Aromasin is more tolerable as far as joint pain goes but I have gained weight and I am hungry all the time - help! I work in a bakery thrift store so I am around bad food all the time. I was told that if you are taking Aromasin you cannot lose weight. Has anyone else had this problem?

  • jo1955
    jo1955 Member Posts: 8,543
    edited August 2011

    naralaca - Welcome to the club no one wants to be a member of.  You have found a great group of very caring and supportive gals.  Sounds like you are finished with treatment and doing well with the exception of with weight issues with Aromasin.  Sorry I can not help you there.  I am also post menopausal but have to take Tamoxifen.  I started with Arimidex and then Femara and both of those were not good for me.  I also was a candidate for the Mammosite Rads but I was not a success case, I ended up doing the whole breast rads for 6 weeks.

    I am sure someone will come along and help you with your question. Come often and vent, cry, ask questions or come for a good laugh.  This is a good place to be. 

  • Eph3_12
    Eph3_12 Member Posts: 4,781
    edited August 2011

    naralaca, I don't know if it's true with Aromasin, but with Femara, I definitely am growing an even bigger spare tire than I had before.  The reason I've been given is that the AI is killing your estrogen.  Your body is in panic mode about that whole deal so it "grows" more fat with which to suck out the estrogen the body thinks it needs (or maybe it does need so I don't grow a beard on top of everything else.)  I walk twice a day over a mile; I hate to think what I would look like without that little bit of excercise.   

  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited August 2011

    Eph, you bring up a topic near (well, 5" below) and not so dear to my heart...middle-aged belly fat.  I am thin, but I am still fighting the belly fat my body is making to compensate for its lost estrogen.  I even lost a few pounds but it is still stubbornly clinging to my waistline area.  Another "new normal" I'll have to accept, courtesy of that dreaded duo, menopause & Tamoxifen.  Boo-Hoo!

    Welcome, naralaca!   Mmmm, a bakery.  What a temptation, you poor thing.

  • reesie
    reesie Member Posts: 2,078
    edited August 2011

    Welcome naralaca. There's a great group here to answer questions or just listen to you vent if you want. We can have fun and be serious too.



    HnS my son was telling me that. Apparently he's been reading this guys stuff for a while before the bc stuff and actually felt a connection with the guy because his fiancé was dx aroun the time I was. He told me I should read the bc "highway" one.

  • heartnsoul76
    heartnsoul76 Member Posts: 1,648
    edited August 2011

    That's so cute - both of our sons are sharing this with us. The highway one wasn't funny, but informative. I really appreciate the way this guy is telling it like it is. None of the pink stuff from him! He's explaining to his mostly young readers how a BC patient has to live - always wondering what percentile you're going to fall in to, and that there's no way even the doctors know your prognosis. You should read the letter he posted to his fans about his absences - I love how he said he has basically had to become a "cancer expert" the last few months. Boy, don't we all know the feeling! This is the one I sent to my friends that just...don't...get...it!

    Welcome, naralaca! Working in a bakery - oh, doubly hard to resist! I'm on Tamoxifen, so can't help you with your question about Aromasin but I do know everyone reacts differently to the various hormonals and I'm sure there are women on these boards that have lost weight on Aromasin. Definitely browse the boards - you will find a lot of valuable information about everything related to our BC and the treatments we've done.

    Even though I'm happy to take the Tamoxifen, I can't help but feeling like taking these hormonal treatments is like adding insult to injury. After all the surgery, chemo and rads, now we have this stuff to deal with for a LONG time. It's not easy being us! 

  • naralaca
    naralaca Member Posts: 3
    edited August 2011

    I feel better already! Just hearing from other women who are going through BC makes me feel like I'm not alone. I had a bad day at work today and I'm getting ready to go to bed. Tomorrow is another day. I will definitely check the boards to see if anyone else has similar problems with Aromasin. I am just starting my regimen of medication for the next 4 years and 6 months (and counting). I am sure that I will run in to other obstacles in this time and it helps to know that there are other women that I can vent to. Thanks to all for the warm welcome.

  • OG56
    OG56 Member Posts: 897
    edited August 2011

    Hi ladies, I have been off the thread for awhile taking care of family. My husband was just here and stayed for a week. It was nice having him here and it was nice when he left :)  I have to have a TVUS yearly because I have a functional ovarian cyst that won't go away. It has been there for years. I have had several biopsies also, I didn't really feel anything much until they had to do a labial biopsy because now I have a type of autoimmune disease that has attacked my who-who. I went to the OB and asked him to check it out and he wanted to know why I looked at it and I told him that I figured that if it felt wierd it might look wierd and that its mine so I will look at it if I want to! He laughed and said "most women won't"  I feel like all my "womanly parts" are under attack! My girlfriend is with her DH while he is undergoingcancer treatment and they are staying at a Hope Lodge and today the centerfold for this months Play Girl was there donating money to the American Cancer Society, this struck me as being quite funny for some reason. We should check him out LOL

  • SAB
    SAB Member Posts: 1,498
    edited August 2011

    Hi Everyone.  Another Newbie here.  Diagnosed on June 2 (my 53rd birthday!) and so grateful to find all of you.  I had surgery on July 12th, and will be meeting with my oncologist this week to discuss "after care."  Are there any questions you WISHED you had asked but forgot?

  • Valjean
    Valjean Member Posts: 1,898
    edited August 2011

    naralaca ~ I have been on Aromasin since Feb 09 & I have had weight gain. I'm not happy about it at all. I've always had a flat stomach & now I have a small spare tire & it sucks!! Yell I've probably gained about 10# (a couple more most recently) in total. And, yes, I do find it very hard to lose. I was exercising every day & it didn't seem to help much; I'd lose a pound here - a pound there - & then it would come right back. I know Aromasin has a steriodal compound - when I read that lovely bit of information on the package insert before I began using it, I knew I was in trouble. Cry

    I need to get back to walking again - fast walking - but it's hard to get motivated when I know it really doesn't do much good. Yes, I know it is good for me in general, but I want to see the weight loss & that doesn't happen. Ugh!

    As for SE's, I do well. Minor stiffness if I sit too long, hand numbness in the morning, hot flashes - all that I can live with.

    I'm just not happy with this fat ass & thighs of mine!!!! There, I said that outloud in cyber-space!!  

    I hope you do well & Welcome!

    ETA: Welcome SAB. Sorry you have to be here, but happy you have found us. In answer to your Q of what I might have wished I'd asked but didn't - at this moment, I can't think of anything. At the initial & second meeting with onc, I was so numb, I could hardly think at all. And then all the doctors got an ear-full!

  • Paula66
    Paula66 Member Posts: 1,728
    edited August 2011

    Hi SAB welcome!  Im sorry we have to meet this way.  Not only do we have to meet sharing BC we also have the same birthday.  I know I was in shock also at the start.  I looked at so much info that I got an over load.  Thats when I started writing stuff down so I wouldnt forget to ask.  The girls here are a big help so if you need to know anything, someone here will be more then happy to help you.  Good Luck.

  • cmbear
    cmbear Member Posts: 1,086
    edited August 2011

    Welcome Naralaca and SAB!! You came to a great spot for support, sorry me had to meet under these circumstances. I'm on tamoxifen so I can't help you on the AI question.SAB, what kind of surgery did you have, what kind of other treatment are you having?

    I had bloodwork done last week to check on my thryroid levels, which has finally found a happy spot to stay at. For now. The weird thing is (to me) is that their has always been something wrong with some component of my blood, each month something different. I know the BCTX will mess up your system, but it just seems to be yo-yoing like crazy. Makes me internet search whatever that issue is, get all freaked out--and then stop and realize that it'll probably be fine next month. Stop worrying!!!  When does the worry of reoccurence ever lessen?  Better question is will I ever stop being such a worry wart!!??? : ) 

  • lynniea
    lynniea Member Posts: 611
    edited August 2011

    Hi all newbies great your here but under the wrong ways.  I have my surgeon appt today and hope he takes out the dr

  • jo1955
    jo1955 Member Posts: 8,543
    edited August 2011
    Welcome SAB - Like some of the others, I was so numb in the beginning I had no idea what questions to ask.  I saw an onc before surgery and all I heard him say was that I did not need chemo and I was to see him after surgery.  This website is full of such good information so ask lots of questions and someone will come along and answer them.
  • reesie
    reesie Member Posts: 2,078
    edited August 2011

    Welcome SAB - there are lots of questions I wish I had asked, but I don't even remember that time at all, so...

    There are a lot of helpful hints if you look at the info contained on the site (on the very top menu bar - under Symptoms & Diagnosis, Treatments & Side Effects)

  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited August 2011

    Hello SAB, welcome!  Your Dx is similar to mine and my surgery was in July two years ago.  If your BS has not already ordered an Oncotype Dx test for you, you may want to ask the MO (medical oncologist) to do that.  It is a 21 gene assay for early stage, node negative, hormone positive women and is a guideline as to how much chemotherapy would benefit you.  Not all doctors feel it is 100% accurate.  (You will probably want to Google for details and more info. on it.)  Also, ask your MO to show you your "chart" from Adjuvant Online, which is another risk assessmant tool to find out treatment benefits.

    You will probably talk about which hormonal drug he intends to use for your therapy too.  This will be affected by whether you are pre- or post-menoapusal, and by history of other medical conditions.  If you are 53 and have never had a bone density baseline test done, he can order one for you.  This could be especcially important if you will be using an aromatase inhibitor, which has a tendency to cause bone loss.  I got one even tho' I am on Tamox., which only cause very slight loss for some women, increase in others.

    If you forget something, no big deal.  You will be seeing your MO regularly (like every threee mos. at first) or you can always call.  The most important thing is DO YOU LIKE YOUR MO?  You absolutely must get one you will be comfortable with for the five long years.

  • YaYa5
    YaYa5 Member Posts: 667
    edited August 2011

    edit:  elimar and i posted at exactly the same time!  sorry, elimar! 

    SAB, i think it's important to know what your pathology reports say.  you'll probably have one from surgery that will discuss the cancer, but most onco's send tissue off to national labs to test for hormone receptors and the gene her2 neu, among other things.  these are very important test results because they will help determine your tx plan.  do you have if these tests have been done? also, many of us have had the oncotype dx test done to further help us and our onco's make informed decisions about tx.  in my opinion, this is some of the most important information we can have about our specific cancer.  be sure you get copies of ALL your reports, including the pathology reports.  this is just my personal opinion.  the other women on here might have a different idea about all this.  good luck at your onco appointment.  let us know how it goes.

  • Sherryc
    Sherryc Member Posts: 5,938
    edited August 2011

    SAB-I am assuming you had a lumpectomy so you will be receiving radiation.  I can't remember things to ask but I do know that my BS did not tell me that I had options.  She just said lump and rads.  I found out 1/2 way through rads that I could have had a MX and no rads.  Just make sure you know if there are other options so that you can make the decision and not your DR's.  The oncotype DX is also good to have.  It will help in treatment decision making.  I also had the BRCA test done so I could decide if I wanted to take my ovaries out or not.  It came back negative so no need to do that.  Just read as much as you can and it will help you form your questions.  Good Luck

  • Eph3_12
    Eph3_12 Member Posts: 4,781
    edited August 2011

    Lynniea-you are hoping the surgeon takes out your doctor?????  That's pretty funny, but I know you meant drain & just didn't finish the word!

  • leisaparis
    leisaparis Member Posts: 587
    edited August 2011

    Hey, El there's no pic at the top. Just a white box with an X in the upper left corner.

    Hi all, been off for a while. Came back once or twice on other threads to drop a quick line. But it takes days to catch up on here so I saved the best for last.

    Have had a really bad few weeks. My dad(step), for the last 30 years, passed away on the 20th of July. He was dx with Lung Cancer @ 3 months before I got my IBC dx. So we have been cancer buddies. He was starting to do a little better, then took a turn for the worse. His throat was closing up due to scar tissue and he wasn't able to eat ANYTHING. Hard for him to even get down liquids. He had a procedure done on Thursday the 14th of July to put a stint in his throat to open it up so he could eat. He finally was able to for a couple of days. Then on Tuesday the 19th, he started having trouble again. The scar tissue collapsed the stint. He started coughing up blood, was taken to the hospital, started doing a little better @ noon, was talking, then @ 3 went down hill really fast. Was gone by 4p.m. Was a bad day.

    Had a memorial service for him on the 23rd, then my mom took him home. He was cremated. It was kinda funny. We went to the funeral home to pick him up. My mom said, "You know, I've never stopped and picked someone up to take to their own funeral before." Kinda weird.

    But we all know life goes on no matter what happens. So on the 24th we had a birthday party for one of my grandsons. He turned 4. Got him & his brother a new inflatable pool & a swing set. Watched them on the 30th, so finished putting it together for them. Hopefully they've been able to play on it.

    Then after all this time, @ a year & a half, I started on my dang PERIOD. Not fun & not really prepared for it. Damn thing anyway. Just another thing to bitch @ I guess. Okay, sorry. Made this long enough. needed to get some of that off my chest. Thanks for all you wonderful women.

    Hello newbies, sorry you have to join us. This is the most supportive & best place to be. We have lots of good times. Bitch, moan laugh, cry, vent. Anything you need. Think I may be caught up now. Thanks all. Later, going to my moms this weekend (she lives in Kansas) to go through dads stuff & help her get ready to move. Oh, and we have also been house hunting for her. Finally found her one yesterday. She should be able to move in a couple of months. So gotta get everything ready. She's moving back home.

    Now I gotta go get ready for work. Hopefully it doesn't take me days to catch up next time. Love ya all. Leisa

  • Sherryc
    Sherryc Member Posts: 5,938
    edited August 2011

    leisaparis so sorry to hear about your Dad.  I'm glad you are there for your mother and are able to give her support.

  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited August 2011

    leisaparis,  My condolences to you, your mom and family.  You had two years with him, which defied the odds.  As you might know, I hate L/C even more than B/C.  I would hate them the same, but L/C is so disgustingly symptom free in the early stages, that by the time people feel there is something wrong, many are Stage IV, so rarely do they have a fighting chance; plus it starts off in a vital organ to begin with.  Hate it!

    I had trouble with the pic showing up at the top too, but I can see it now.  I don't know if anyone else can besides me.  Hope so, it is a good one!

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