Can I just vent, please?

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BlueCowgirl
BlueCowgirl Member Posts: 667
edited June 2014 in Stage III Breast Cancer

What a rollercoaster...Had a lumpectomy and axillary node dissection last week...Margins were bad, so now headed to mastectomy next week. In the midst of this, found a growth in a *ahem* sensitive area below the belt. Gyn said he'd never seen anything like it before, biopsied it, now waiting on biopsy results. Now suddenly the biopsy spot looks like a giant festering lesion. I have moved beyond crying to laughing because it all just seems so preposterous. 

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  • Gitane
    Gitane Member Posts: 1,885
    edited July 2011

    Hi BlueCowgirl,  What an ordeal you are having.  I know how you feel when you say you are beyond crying to laughing.  There comes a point where there is no room for another level of stuff to deal with.  You just have to throw up your hands and go with what's happening because you have no choice. Been there!!!  I really hope the biopsy is just benign nuisance stuff and that your mastectomy goes well.  Mine was not that bad, honestly.  If you had told me beforehand I'd say that I wouldn't have believed it, but it was really O.K. It seems surreal right now, but you will get through this. Hang in there, and please come back to let us know how you are doing.  G.

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  • Octobergirl
    Octobergirl Member Posts: 334
    edited July 2011

    BlueCowgirl,  (great name)

    Only the resilient can laugh at the end of  way too much and you're having to deal with way too much!  The positive nodes and negative margins suck. But the added growth in an 'ahem location" and then post-biopsy complications just takes the cake.

    I'm sending healing wishes and energy and will be thinking of you next week. Which day is your surgery?

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  • mrsnjband
    mrsnjband Member Posts: 1,409
    edited July 2011

    Some days it's easier to laugh about it than cry.  Hang in the girlie, you can do it!  NJ

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  • Mouse6
    Mouse6 Member Posts: 246
    edited July 2011

    Sometimes you just feel like you're going to wake up from a very bad dream when everything happens at once. I feel so sorry that your first surgery wasn't successful. I'm sending out good vibes for your mastectomy. I felt so relieved after mine and I wish the same for you. Here's hoping the other area is just a fluke infection or something. Please let us know how everything goes. (((hugs)))

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  • Jalsmama55
    Jalsmama55 Member Posts: 104
    edited July 2011

    I'm so sorry you're going through this. I had a similar situation. Originally had lumpectomy and got path back saying cancer. Then had MRI bilaterally. That showed more nonsense in the cancer side and questionable lymphnodes. I immediately opted for BMX because I didn't want to mess around. I have 3 young children. Although I was scared to death and it seemed like each new phone call from a dr was worse than the last, I made it through. I also have to say that the BMX wasn't as awful as I had imagined and quite honestly, I was happy to get those things off with all the problems they were apparently causing me. I always thought of it as "these b$tches aren't worth my life" so I really didn't regret it for even a second. I still haven't had recon due to the fact that recon would've put off chemo even longer. So I'll start that process sometime between October and december (haven't decided yet). Please let us know how you're doing. Lots of love and hugs Xoxoxo

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  • AnacortesGirl
    AnacortesGirl Member Posts: 1,758
    edited July 2011

    BlueCowGirl -

    My original biopsy was a lumpectomy and it removed a 2.8cm tumor.  After doing chemo I went back for the BMX.  I was amazed how easy the surgery was -- the worst part, hands down, was the drains.  I'm sorry they couldn't get the clear magins the first time around but I'm sure the next surgery will go well for you.

    Fingers crossed on the other biopsy!

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  • jennyboog
    jennyboog Member Posts: 1,322
    edited July 2011

    I did a BMX in Jan. and no lie....it was easier than I thought.  I hope things get better real soon for you.  Hugs and prayers coming your way.  Keep us updated on things.

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  • MaxineO
    MaxineO Member Posts: 555
    edited July 2011

    It's crazy isn't it? I'm glad you can laugh because it is all so preposterous!  I hope the growth is nothing and that you heal up quickly.  It sucks to have to face so much "medical" stuff, but you will get to the other side.

    I second the others; I had a single MX in Feb, and it isn't nearly as difficult to get through as you think at the beginning. You can do it.

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  • BlueCowgirl
    BlueCowgirl Member Posts: 667
    edited August 2011

    Thanks for the support everyone! Turns out my private parts biopsy site is healing normally (you'd think they'd warn you about the part where it turns into a festering wound, right?) Still waiting on biopsy results.

    My mastectomy is tomorrow. I am not crying but not laughing at the moment either...nervous, but thinking positive, because I know so many of you have gone through this and come out on the other side able to laugh again. So thanks again for your kind words. Will be in the hospital for a few days but will update when I can.

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  • Gitane
    Gitane Member Posts: 1,885
    edited August 2011

    Will be thinking of you tomorrow BlueCowgirl.  Take good care, G.

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  • KerryMac
    KerryMac Member Posts: 3,529
    edited August 2011

    Thinking of you too, hope it all goes smoothly!

    It really wasn't as bad as I thought it might be, and you will get to the other side of this and be happy again. Promise!!

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  • jennyboog
    jennyboog Member Posts: 1,322
    edited August 2011

    Will be thinking of you tomorrow and I pray all goes well....let us know when you can.

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  • PlantLover
    PlantLover Member Posts: 622
    edited August 2011

    Sorry you're having such a difficult time!  Good luck tomorrow!  For what it's worth, I had a bi-lat and was only in the hospital overnight so maybe your hospital stay won't be a couple of days.

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  • elmcity69
    elmcity69 Member Posts: 998
    edited August 2011

    bluecowgirl, just said a prayer for you.

    i did mx on both sides, and it wasn't too bad. the emotional roller coaster of it all was much worse than any of the physical stuff.

    keep us posted when you're able. sending good energy your way!

    xo

    j

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  • GirlFriday
    GirlFriday Member Posts: 461
    edited August 2011

    BlueCowGirl:  Biopsy's of girl parts are the worst.  They made me look at mine, after a procedure that even made the nurse cringe,and I remember thinking I was never going to be the same again.  It took a while to heal, but the best thing I ever did for myself was take a rest spread eagle in the sunshine.  I'm not saying it was pretty, and I'm lucky to not have close neighbors.  Air it out! You'll feel better!

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