I say yes, you say no, OR People are Strange

Thank you all who are being so kind and helpful. By posting here this evening, I hope that you all realize that we are not "blaming" any of you for the negative reviews. We are just reacting to earlier postings on this tread. 

Again, with utmost appreciation,

Melissa and the BCO Mods 

thats-life: did you post a review on greatnonprofits?

I know someone suggested above that we should all go over and post positive reviews to dilute the negative ones that have been posted, but I'm hoping that the site owners over there can be appealed to to remove any where the poster submitted more than one review. Submitting multiple reviews by logging in under multiple userIDs is gaming the system. I know it wouldn't generally be the practice of a site to remove negative reviews but I think this case should be an exception.

hello mary, and thankyou for your kind enquiry. i have submitted one review, as i am one person only, (as i said to the moderators in reply to their pm to me asking me to state who was 'attacking' the stage IV women, something i could not answer as i hadnt said that?), i am a bit tired of having to confirm this fact) sorry if the impact of many unhappy reviews has shocked you.

I think the negative reviews reflect badly on all of us. I think it's particularly nasty that someone (or maybe more than one person is responsible for those posts) chose to name people over there. It seems so petty.

As for the affect on donor contributions, I don't think you can dismiss how those may be affected. Network For Good is one site that many of you may be familiar with and that is one of those that links to the reviews on GreatNonProfits.

Nerida,

I'm sorry you think the ladies on this thread gang up on others. That is not the case. Had you ever tried to post here and become friends? Not that I have seen. This is a place for women finished with their treatment and trying move on.

I was welcomed with open arms and am pleased to have gotten to know these wonderful women.

As I have been the subject of attacks from others on this site, most particularly in the alternative forum BEFORE I ever engaged with this thread, I can testify that it was not these women but another bunch who were reposnsible for those attacks and are also probably responsible for those bad reviews and nasty comments on the other site.

Sue

sue, i appreciated your pms when i first joined here as we have discussed in our pm's. it is up to the individual who has the time to go through this thread and others to decide what is kindness, and what is 'mobbing', shame we couldnt have met up for coffee in sydney, half way each, but 'them's the breaks' as the saying goes, regards, nerida..edited to delete surname on advice from a member.

I will say this once again - it is obvious that certain people want to see this thread shut down like the holistic thread and will come here with negative words towards BCO and other members in order to create chaos.

The best thing we can do is IGNORE until the moderators get to the bottom of this mess as they are working so hard to do right now.

We don't have to justify our actions to anyone -  just ourselves.  We know each other around here pretty well and harsh words towards other members will not change our feelings towards one another.

thats-life -- I am curious.  Who actually directed you to this thread (only one of many hundreds on BCO)?  Did anyone who habitually posts on this "Growing our Friendships" thread  attack/belittle/accuse you in any way?  And if anyone did, is this the only thread they post on?

We're a group of like-minded individuals who have developed close friendships, and...we are ALL breast cancer patients.  Some of us are Stage IV, and some of us are not, but those of us who are not, are always mindful that we may become so.

You see, as in any group (large or small) of people with something in common, we gravitate to those who think about many things in life as we ourselves do.  As you can see, we welcome people with open arms.  This seems to bother you, and I just can't figure out why.  You seem determined to denigrate us.  I don't like it.  I can't stop it.  I just....wonder why. 

shirley, i have pm limits, thankyou for you concern, i appreciate it.

ShirleyHughes, I don't post on threads where people do things, or have opinions, that differ from mine; unless I see things that are factually untrue as I know them to be.  Just as I wouldn't join a group of people whose thoughts on way of life, religion, hobbies etc. don't jibe with mine.  But none of us have stopped unlike-minded people from posting on this thread.  Indeed, how could/can we?

I asked a serious question.  If that's-life doesn't choose to answer, I can't do anything about that.  I'll take my toys and go home.  Or better still, I'll go to bed.

Nighty-night! 

Nerida - there is no mobbing - If I see something I disagree with posted on the alternative forum, I will say so. No one puts me up to it. I think my first foray into that area was when WOM posted her fears about chemo/herceptin and was looking for anyone who had used alternative only treatment. I was horrified as I was also HER2+ve and I know you must have herceptin. No one answered her as they are probably not living anymore. So on that thread I saw others who agreed with me - so what? There is no gang. If someone tells me to drink my own urine I will argue with it. Newly diagnosed women should not come here and see a thread telling them not to do chemo - it's dangerous information.

You would be interested to know that a certain other group on here actually gang up on Blue, Athena etc by all conspiring to report their posts to get the person banned. Those posts were actually harmless - what do you think of those people? It causes the mods lots of time checking these posts and reinstating them. Someone wrote to another member and told her when the ladies on this thread talk about food, they are really bullying someone - WTF???? What sort of mind thinks that sort of thing up.

I'm sorry to be communicating with you publicly here, but seeing you have ignored what I have said privately, I have no choice.

Sue

I know BC.org has helped me tremendously...just wrote a review.

Shirleyhughes~~~~ "I realize you cannot understand that" I certainly hope you aren't implying that I am in any way slow or cannot think for myself. I take offense at your post to me. I do understand that people do have different views and beliefs. I am a big girl and also having a background in business management, nursing, and a degree in psychology, I also have experienced situations where I have dealt with different views of others. I also respect others opinions as well. What I can't abide is if someone used their own agendas as gospel to give others advice that could be potientially dangerous..... such as telling women that chemo and doctors will kill you. That was over the line. I also don't approve of the way that the mods have been treated and what they have been accused of. They have a very difficult job.

Some of the pictures in those threads were graphic and disturbing.  I felt they did not belong on a breast cancer support site and I said so.  It just happened that the poster of the pictures was the same person...I was not trying to gang up on anyone.

I have seen many more posts against chemo than I have against alternative treatments. The "Don't Do It" thread was over the line. IMO, there has been alot of baiting done here recently. I don't like playing into anyones victim mentality. That's not why we are all here. We are here to strengthen each other and offer support so that we don't have to feel like victims. I know I sure don't want to feel like that. I want to feel inspired and empowered. That's what I get from most of the people here on these boards. We are all here for our own reasons and we all reach out for what helps us through our own needs. This has been a safe warm place for me to talk about my fears and gain insight. But it's more than that for me. It's also a place where I can come to get my mind off cancer for awhile. I know it's a dichotomy since it is a cancer site. But I also come here for lighthearted posts and laughter as well. I love the fellowship I feel here.