February 2011 chemo pals

dogeyed, I had chemo prior to surgery.  The tumor was about 5 to 7 cm and shrunk to about 1 cm after chemo.  Had a lumpectomy on July 8 but only had 3 out of 4 margins clean, so am going in for re-excision on Tuesday.  Hoping for clean margins then.  Wishing you well as you continue to recover from chemo.  

It's been so long, I finally was able to wrestle my computer away from my broken legged son to catch up on the posts b/c I was really needing you guys today!

GG, so sorry about Gandalf, I lost my dog that was 17 about 5 years ago and I love my new girl, but he was my first child! Good luck and as to your question, yes, my surgery was after chemo and rads will be next.

Sounds like rads are going well for those of you posting about it which makes me glad to hear it since I still have that to "look forward to"

So after my dbl mastectomy with lymph nodes out on the left I find out that the right lymph nodes turned oit to be positive too and go back for another surgery Aug 3 (so yes, I am right with you Divine!). I have not voiced it to anyone aloud b/c I guess I try to be the positive one (and really I usually am), but I am getting kind of scared. I don't understand why even after chemo it shows up in lymph nodes where they never found or suspected it earlier...it's always like "oops, just one more thing" I feel like it's never going to end. How do they really know if they get it all?!

Sorry to be Debbie Downer, but I feel like this is the only place where I can talk about how I feel b/c at home I have to be the strong one, with my friends and at work people go on about how strong and brave I am. I don't always want to be strong or brave but I don't want people to ever think that I am not being positive or giving up or feeling worried...i am usually a happy person and despise feeling depressed! Love u all though!!

Jenn- Im sorry that you have to go through that again. =(

jenn, never worry about being a downer on this site; that is what we are all here for, to help each other when the chips are down.  I am sorry to hear that you have to have another surgery, and I will keep you in my prayers.  God bless.

Hi all,

charlottesmama - that Taxol should start clearing your system and you will notice a difference at about the 5 week point - you will wake up one day and feel like a normal human.

jenn_h - sorry about the additional surgery.  That is such a bummer.  They didn't see my nodes on any pre-surg imaging or testing, it came as a surprise.  I will be thinking of you.

Had my TE replaced last Wed. and started some pretty intense pain, couldn't sit upright or walk around.  Spent the weekend laying down counting the minutes between Vicodins - not like me at all.  I ran a 101.5 fever on Sunday night so called the PS Mon. a.m.  He was in surgery all day but the staff said come to the office at about 3:30.  I had an initial assesment with the phys. therapist at 1:00 and I didn't want to miss it but I was not sure how I could handle it.  I stepped into the shower and the pain went away!  I felt like a pinching or pressing but felt like I was being stabbed with a knife - it was that intense.  When I went to the PS office they sent me down the road to the surgery center and I just figured that was where he was - but no, he was ready to take me back to surgery.  He ended up giving me a scrip for antibiotics and I am keeping my appt on Thurs with him.  Crazy! He thinks my rib might have been pressed on and inflamed. I know that feeling - it is always something...

dogeyed - so far I am holding steady.  If the pain comes back he will definitely go back in.  We are in a watchful waiting period right now. I think the pain was due to swelling/trauma to the general area that caused the pinching/pressing pain.  It was just a coincidence that it stopped when I got in the shower.  I was allowed to shower the next day after this surgery and I had a fairly long IMF incision (like an old-school implant scar) with a piece of tape over it.  I was not restricted on the showering thing with any of my surgeries - even with drains in.  I could usually shower after a couple of days.  Usually they ask you to shower prior to surgery with antibacterial soap, so I just continued to use that right after.

On the neuropathy front - my left foot now seems almost normal, right foot still has numbness on the ball of the foot and toes.  It feels weird when I walk because the feet don't feel the same.

ruffolo - good to see you, thanks for the good wishes, and yes I am feeling better.  My DD's b-day is Aug. 2 - so I will add a clear margin wish in there for you on that day!

Jen1832,  I'm not sure what a NS BMX is.  This sounds like something you need to address to your plastic surgeon and oncologist.  Any lump is worrisome, and there may be an explanation for it, relating to how the prosthetic lay against your skin.

 JenH- you have every reason to feel depressed about the new positive lymph nodes on the right and more surgery.  We can't expect to be positive and resilient all the time.  Just some of the time:)  Did you have bilateral cancer -meaning in both breasts?  That would explain the positive nodes on both sides.  My thoughts are with you and will hope surgery goes well next week.

Thanks all - I called my RS today and he is seeing me in the morning.  My hope is that it is just some sort of scar tissue.  My DH is out of town and so I don't want to say anything to anyone until I know what is up.  NS BMX is nipple sparing bilateral mastectomies.  Like a lot of others, I ALMOST lost one TE and one nip early on.  I have made so much progress.  Will be 6 weeks PFC tomorrow and I sure don't want anymore setbacks.  I was just starting to become optimistic again.

Sara and GG, good luck on the second, I'll be thinking about you. I'm on the third. Wish the hospital had better food!!

I started phys. therapy yesterday. A little daunting. I am on the way to "lock shoulder" apparently and have a lot of work to do so that I can dress myself normally again one day, let alone play softball again! All the things we take for granted! You'd think the cancer would be enough! On the good side I went and orderedf my post surgery bras today and new chick fillets to stick in them...can't wait to get out of this cami thing, hot and uncomfortable!

Mamaoftwo, yes I had it in both breasts, but it was very small on the right and there was no indication of it being in the nodes so I was just disappointed, but I am feeling better emotionally now, thanks all of you for being here!!

Just popping in to let you know that the bs nurse just called to tell me that after my re-excision of the lumpectomy, all margins are clear/clean!  Praise the Lord.

Hugs Divine, you must be so happy and relieved. Thats great news!

DIvine - What fabulous news!  Yippee!