Here's what cheezed me off today
Comments
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Well, Femara has TOTALLY messed up my sleep patterns - can't sleep at night sometimes, different times of day etc. So earplugs are my new BFF.
Just complaining about the SE not the drug because IT IS WORKING.
Leah
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I hate it when I get a tech who can't find a vein. I always warn them ahead of time, say I have bad veins and they may roll so you might want to call IV therapy or get someone who can access a port, but do they listen, Oh no, and it's Oh, I am sure I can find a vein. Well, I am now home drinking my gallons of H2O with two gauzes taped on my arm, one on my hand (which hurt like heck..after that one she says, We will call someone and use your port) and a bandaid on my port. The nurse who came to do my port was very nice, but I hope I never see that other one again. Because it took them so long to access me, my bone scan is now going to be two hours later. GRRRRRRRRRRRR.
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Thanks, Elizabeth. We have to laugh to keep from crying. Just keep singing that old Monty Python song, "Life Will Get You In The End." Have a great weekend. My DD is dragging me to the last Harry Potter movie.
Cover me, I'm goin' in! -
Here's my Friday "have to wait the entire weekend for information" cheeze.
I leave a message with my BS office and ask that his assistant call me and let me know if I have to get new blood work before my surgery. I did blood work a few weeks ago because I thought I was having a surgical biopsy on 7/13/11. Didn't need it... yay! Still need the "real" surgery in August so I call to ask, "Do I need to do fresh blood work?" I'm going on vacation soon and want all the pre-op out of the way.
I finally get a call at 5:00p from an assistant of the assistant who tells me my blood work is fine. Well, hell I know that! Other than cancer :-) I'm a damn healthy person. I let her know that she didn't answer my question and of course now I have to wait until Monday for the "right" answer. I could have done the blood test this weekend, but noooooooooo, assistant of assistant missed the boat.
What is up with these people??!! Are we all using dixie cups with strings to get our messages through? Okay... I'm off to chill out and forget the "cheeze" of this week. Maybe next week will be cheezeless!
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Rocky, I'm sorry that happened to you but it seems to be fairly typical. Isn't that sad? Sometimes I wonder where they hire these people from. I pray you don't have to do new blood work but, if you do, offer them some from the ASSistant of the assistant!!!!! Reminds me of the time I went to get my daughter a social security card. I said to the lady, "I need to get a card for my 2 yr. old daughter. Here's her birth certificate." Without missing a beat, she said" I'll need to see her driver's license." TRUE STORY! Her village misses her!
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I got lost on the way to the oncologist. I asked a lady crossing the street if she knew where the Cancer Center was. She said, "I'm in the middle of the street here!" and walked away. I parked my car and tried to catch her and tell her that she had no idea what the people she ran into during the day had going on in their lives and so she should be a little nicer to strangers. I got half way through the parking lot when I realized I had lost my mind. So I walked back to my car.
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Oh, bedo! I'm angry at the stupid woman and laughing at the same time because I can SO relate to your last two sentences. Lately I catch myself wanting to bi%#&slap people when I used to be able to just let it go. Maybe radiation has lit my fuse as well as my boob!
May your weekend be cheezed-free!!!! -
Thanks rohanna! Love the driver's license story! People amaze me sometimes... no wait... all the time :-).
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bedo,
As I said to rohanna... people amaze me. I read what you wrote and I was thinking... where does she live? Then I noticed RI. Are you in Rhode Island? I could almost hear that stupid lady with an east coast voice! Funny stuff (although not funny at the time I'm sure). I'm glad you didn't speak to hear.
I believe the last time I tried to correct someone was when a lady was yelling and smacking her little daughter while saying, "Don't hit me." I told her that she should pull herself together and her daughter wouldn't hit her if she didn't hit her daughter. Boy, she came after me and I had to duck into a store for safety. I was pregnant at the time. After that... I haven't spoke directly to any insane people again. They are way too unpredictable... I suppose it's the nature of insanity!
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i am so pissed off that i can't get my energy back, my hubby driving me crazy being home all all the time..he is over protective..oh yeah i am supposed to be so happy, but when does it get to where it's an excuse and HE talks to the NO END..in detail until i DO CRY..he knows and we are fighting...if i see one more car show i am afraid i might blow the dang tv up..or hear him tell me another OLD OLD story of 20 years ago..the details r crazy..right down to how to twist the screwdriver..oh how to load the dishwasher..i am a 49 yrs old woman that lived alone as much as w/someone..we married 06..cancer came in 08...very glad to say i am well, but deep inside i feel like maybe it would have been easier just to have let gooooooooooooooooo....help!! plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..anyone else have this problem or am i all alone...I get it all the time (YOU BETTER BE GLAD HE LOVES YOU SO SO MUCH) ..well they don't live w/him and here his endless going nowhere stories...should i put on a fake smile and simply play alone..laugh when it's older then me..got any advise here..am i in the right place..smothered to death by husband OH he is real good to me...now what????????????? is it just ME??? confused and crying...
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Leisha, I can't say I have the same situation as my husband is not much help at all and is usually zoned out and oblivious to what is going on with me. However, I can relate to the endless talking which is saying nothing. I am in the computer room now which is right off the kitchen....this is MY space. He will come into the kitchen and plunk himself down on a stool and either start talking or plunking away on a ukulele. He insisted on putting a tv up in the kitchen so I could watch my shows while cooking,but HE is the one who turns on the tv and it is either the weather or the news, neither of which I am interested in....I can look out the window to see if it is raining. He has the news on in his basement cave 24/7 and insists on telling me about it. Also he does not view things the way I do at all.....he says he has a sarcastic sense of humor, and I tell him it is just plain sick. He will see someone who is fat or has something wrong with them and always has to make a comment like Did you see that fat guy? or did you see the tatoos on that girl? and sometimes it is even a physical deformity, like Did you see that tumor on the side of that guy's head? And it is not like my husband is a picture of health or the least bit attractive.....he is 5'11", weighs 95 lbs and has not had a haircut for over two years. I can be typing away and he comes upstairs and brings his ukulele and starts strumming away or talking and I just totally shut him out, make no reply whatsoever and eventually he goes away. Leaving the tv on of course for me to turn off. He is a good guy, all my friends have to point this out, but as you said they don't live with him. He isn't mean at all and doesn't beat me or anything like that. His insurance is what is keeping me alive. He is generous and if I want something he will buy it, but he doesn't have a clue about making me happy. He doesn't realize that if he would do little things around the house it would make me happy and make both our lives so much easier. We don't argue about how to unload the dishwasher because he would never load or unload it or dust or do anything like that. He is not good with health issues and if I come home and tell him about how I had a nurse who could not find a vein to save her soul, he just wrinkles up his nose and goes Oh God, don't tell me stories like that, I hate needles. He also has a way of telling me things I already know, but don't need to hear like It seems like the cancer is taking over or your hair is really getting thin up there. No tact, I guess it his problem. And when it comes to doing things (you mentioned the screw driver) his way is always better, but in the end proves not to be. If he thinks I am wrong about something, he actually goes and looks it up on the internet and prints a page out for me to read.....he has no memory at all so I don't know why he thinks he knows about so much, but he does. Anyway, I know where you are coming from. Sometimes I feel bad in that I think he is talking because he is lonely.....I have friends and get out and see people and still work and I am on the phone a lot. All he does is go out for breakfast and lunch and sit at a table or lunch counter and work his crossword puzzles and I hear him talking to the dogs a lot....BUT it is his fault for not making friends and I will say that this past Friday night, he actually went somewhere and I was thrilled!! Maybe your husband needs to make some friends and get out so he will quit bugging you. Do you have more than one tv?....if not, get one....they are getting cheaper every day....encourage him to watch his car shows on his own tv. There are many women on here who talk about their DHs (darling husbands), but I have always come up with other words that start with D in referring to mine and rest assured there are quite a few women on the threads with husbands who drive them stark raving mad. Maybe there should be a thread for that. In the meantime, can you sit him down and tell him you can't stand much more of this....maybe he doesn't even realize what he is doing and actually thinks he is being helpful.....if not, just try to ignore him and maybe he will go away as mine does.
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Leisha - My husband likes to hover and talk a lot as well. He has a good heart, but sometimes you want to set a rule that a story gets put away in the archives after 5 tellings (lol). And he likes my attention when often I just feel like doing my own thing. You are likely a very good listener, which is a good quality, but hard on you if it is mainly one-way. This is his personality and it is best if you can accept that he probably will not change. But, you can change the way you deal with it. You need to find someone, probably a couselor or therapist, who will listen to your needs and issues. There must be some free counselling in your area. I would suggest asking at your Cancer Centre or callling the local crisis hot line which should be able to help you connect to some resources. My local breast clinic and my oncologist have both offered to refer me to therapists if necessary.
It would be good for you to arrange regular outings with some girlfriends or join a group, so that your husband has to accept your absence. I find that it is very good for our relationship when my husband and I do some things separately.
I believe that a breast cancer diagnosis is a traumatic event regardless of stage. When we get that diagnosis we don't know much about it and think it is a death sentence. You may be suffering from post-traumatic stress. I would definitely try to connect with either a cousellor or a cancer support group.
You are not alone in feeeling sad and adrift. Please come here often and we will support you.
Many hugs to you.
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It sure seems with cancer one finds their strengths, and finds their husbands weaknesses. Lol
No dress yet, boy do those extra twelve pounds show up in a dressy dress. Ugggghhhh! The hair grew back into a frizzball lambswool car polisher, so it looks like wig for the wedding. i am not me anymore, but i am alive....;)
Womans usa team playing soccer for world cup! Goooooo girllsss! Kick butt!
Good distraction for a few hours! I find myself also feeling separated from normal people, the thoughts change totally about everything! Comments by well meaning normals all seem silly to me now.
Rohanna you are so funny! Lol two year olds drivers licence lmao! -
Thank you, thank you! Husbands are so clueless! Here's my solution, Prozac and an Ipod. I watch TV in another room because I'm sick of hearing about the blue-breasted poop bird, or the volcanoes of Dipsyland, or whatever crap he watches on Discovery or Animal Planet. When he comes in to talk about the latest thing we should all be terrified of (did you know the world will end in 2012?), I turn on any episode of The Real Housewives of .............and he skedaddles! He's so negative about everything and no help at all. That's why I'm so grateful for BCO. I can come here and bitch all I want and yet end up feeling better and laughing. And people actually GET me. So release your inner bitch ladies and take no prisoners!!! ((HUGS))
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soulswithin, I love the way you call "the others" normals.
This group is great for a distraction and we can find strength and knowledge from our peers. I use this group to express my fears, ask my questions so that I may make educated choices and of course I like to frequent the "cheeze" thread. Thanks rohanna for starting it.
Yes, husbands tend to be clueless. I know they try their best, but heck... mine isn't even a good listener. I can see he is trying, but his body language says different. He hardly seems interested in information I'm learning about the BC or the fun stories about others. He too, like some of the other husbands really doesn't have friends and between watching Pawn Stars, American Pickers and those types of shows, you would think his brain was turning to mush... oh wait... it has. If he actually filled it with important and interesting facts we would have a real conversation :-).
I do know about the thoughts changing... I was at the play Hairspray today and was having a great time until I realized that all the women had wigs on. I had to keep myself composed since I was with my daughter. Now, how many people cry at the sight of a wig? :-). Obviously... not normal!
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Rocky, I'm so glad you found this thread. It's just too darn hard to be Mary Sunshine all the time yet others don't understand when we get cranky. I think it might be because they're scared and don't know how to handle it. Others are just mean dillholes and it's fun to compare their stories.
I can so relate to crying about the wigs. I lost another big chunk of hair in the shower tonight and I just sat down and cried. I can't think of anything that sucks more than cancer! But I did get a huge kick out of the ukulele story from Marybe! Men.....can't live with 'em, can't hide the bodies!
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Rohanna, i can relate to the chunks of hair. It triggered a huge emotional response of me. Although i found it scientiifically interesting, i had to laugh one day in the car when i had to roll up my windows because some of it was blowing into the back seat. Lollol, ya had to be there to find it funny! Sort of one of those barbaric moments only a bc sister would understand. Hang in there, soon youll be getting a flashlight to check for regrowth! Hugs
To everyone, i hear your frustrations, my husbands the type that sits in a corner wringing his hands, so i am depending on my own strengths thru this. Nothing new about that in my life. Disappointing but not a surprise. I just dont have the strength to deal with his problems anymore.
Ok for example, yu wanna hear what movie he rented one week after my first surgery and my daughter was here? The Bucket List!!! I kid yu not!!! The man is clueless.
Your tears are not alone!
Im with ya. -
lmbrickey, you are NOT ALONE. Men can be extremely insensitive. Even when we are the ones who are sick, many of them will STILL put their needs first. Unfortunately, this is the nature of some of the men of our generation. You have to tell him you need your space or just leave the room when he is a pest. Counseling can help and even if he won't go, you can. They say if you change a few things (such as simply telling him "I'm tired and I have to lie down" or something like that), his behavior may change with enough changes on your part.
I'm 46 and yes, 49 is way too young to have to deal with these guys bullshit. It's great he has "suck" by you and that he loves you, but you may have to just lay it on the line. I've been forthright with my husband in the past and just said, "Look, I don't like you" other things like that. It's gets them thinking. However, I've been with mine for 27 years so I just say what I have to say :-) Good luck and let us know.
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You can sort of understand a little when husbands are clueless. They've usually been raised that way. (Bucket List, really? OMG!) But I don't get when male doctors act like that! I've had a hacking cough since last Thursday and my friend told me it was probably from the rads. I checked a lot of the threads here and they mention it also. So today, I talked to the RO and I have named him Dr. Izznot. EX: "Izznot the radiation. Izznot unusual. Izznot the radiation. Izznot anything to worry about. Izznot the radiation. Izznot, Izznot, Izznot........." So he says about the cough, "Izznot the radiation." And his Nurse Ratchett gave me a disapproving glare and rushed me out. I'm so glad I only have 2 more rads and I never have to see these people again. I could have gotten more service from a doorstop! You know the odds of a woman and BC- 1 in 7. A man and prostate cancer- 1 in 6. If the shoe happens to be on the other foot, I hope they receive more help and compassion than I did. And I hope they feel like crap for the way they've treated their patients. I'll be out of there so fast on Wednesday, I'll probably set a land speed record!
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I've got some Tuesday morning cheeze... I HATE waking up and the first thing on my mind is cancer! I've played telephone tag with my BS for a couple of days and I have enough questions for the guy that I've got to get in there before my surgery. Chest X-ray yesterday, EKG today... CRAP, I think before this dx I may have seen my primary dr. once every two years. I've had more medical attention the past month or so then I've had for my entire adult life! Okay, I'm done... Happy Tuesday to all :-).
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Rohanna,
Congratulations on being done on Wednesday. Your speed record for getting away from your RO will stand until the fourth week of August when I will oh so quickly leave my RO. My RO, aka Dr. Clueless, was a total jerk today. He must be the twin of your Dr. Izznot.
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Rocky, I was the same way. Hardly ever needed medical services and now it seems to NEVER end! Grrrrr! Usually when I can't get the dr. to call me back, I tell the desk that I'm just going to come down to the office and wait for him. That usually lights a fire under their butts! I think I've been felt up more often in the last 4 months than all the drive-in theatres combined in the last 20 yrs! I hope your Tuesday got a lot better. (HUGS)
Elizabeth, thanks and I will gladly pass the baton to you in August. Don't you just feel like yelling "Meep, Meep!" as you rush out the door? Of course, Wylie Coyote is a genius compared to Drs. Clueless and Izznot!
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LOL
You guys are too funny. I hated my initial appts with the RO, but now I love him. And I hate the staff a wee bit less than I did initially.
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Rockym and rohanna, I have finally started getting mad about the continuous medical tests and doctor appts., ect that have invaded my life these past 6 months. Prior to bc, I had the annual mammo and pap test but rarely saw a doctor for anything more serious than step throat. I love when I have moments, carefree moments of time when I am not thinking of bc.
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Something else that I hate is having a pity party for myself! Because of bc, I am too often worried about myself. There are others around me who are going thru difficulties yet I get so wrapped up in the problems I'm dealing with, I have a hard time reaching out to them. It really sucks.
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Divine, see here's the thing. Women are taught all their lives to nurture others and to sacrafice themselves. Then BC comes along and changes all the rules. Give yourself permission to be selfish and to concentrate on yourself because no one else will who hasn't been through this. We're scared sh*&%#ss and yet they can't see it. They don't understand that our lives are suddenly not our own and some even belittle this disease. Come on this thread anytime you like and no one will judge you. We will love and support you no matter what. We'll bitch and rant and rave and laugh and cry TOGETHER! You are loved, my sister!
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I ran into a neighbor at the grocery store today that I haven't seen in a couple of months. She looked at my head and said,"Wow, your treatments were really tough on your hair." I HAD JUST COME FROM THE HAIRDRESSER!" Should I go get a refund or slap my neighbor?
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I say Slap the nieghbour
. Some people don't think before the speak !!! -
Rockym
I am from NY state, Denver, Boston, Atlanta, Alaska, and now RI and by some miracle I have no accent! Except if I have a few glasses of wine, which is rare I start the Southern thing,(lived in Atlanta for 15 years) My friends look at me like, Who are you???? Sybil??? Moved all those places for marriage, college work, curiosity.
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rohanna: Definitely slap the neighbor. More satisfying than getting a refund.
I have been feeling sad lately so I asked a "good" friend to have breakfast with me this morning at our favorite diner before I had to go to rads. Guess who stood me up!
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