MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN 40-60ish

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  • pminxy
    pminxy Member Posts: 44
    edited July 2011

    Middle-aged women 40-60ish  it should a time where working or not that you are settling in to enjoy your golden years, when like you ladies the big Breast cancer landed in my lap in 2004 for the first time I had just gotten over the loss(died from asbestos related cancer) of a man who was my soul mate to me ; enjoying a great job in nursing and had my life back together, or so I thought May 2004 I lost my left breast and the ensuing chemo knocked my socks of and the radiation therapy made you so tired all you wanted to do was sleep and because of the high intensity of the radiation therapy my left side looked like under cooked raw meat and it never stopped leaking through no matter what I put over it, Silverzene helped clear it up and kill the burning sensation and I thought I was out of the woods for a time then february 2006 it was the turn of my right breast to go as it was mainly aggressive pre cancerous they had to move within 6 weeks to remove it or there would have been issues the plastics team and the breast surgery guys got together and in 12 1/2 hours on the operation table I had another mastectomy and then bi lateral reconstruction and talk about pain but it was worth it to feel whole again and stop the back aches having 1 breast caused.there was no cancer treatment that time but they promised they would give regular checks so they would catch any BC early! Nothing happened I had a couple of visits over the set 5 year period rather then the regular routine as per the first , the second round and the recontruction on top of the two other surgeries left me an invalid unable to work and getting help in home and then along came January 2011 and I was called into theplastics clinic and without any tests or anything I was told its been 5 years you  can go we don't need to see you any more-I was bewildered as they hadn't been seeing me and now they were cutting me loose; a few days later preparing for bed I suddenly became breathless and developed thes awful chest pains. -I hit my vital call button and they asked what was up and they got me an ambulance I can't remember much until I got to hospital where they hit me with an Anganine tablet as my heart was in stress because of a pleural effusion /fluid in my left lung collapsing had put stress on my heart. last thing I remember after they put the drain in was being jabbed and waking up the next morning on ward to cut a long story short they did several tests which found me riddled withpalliative/ terminal metatastic   breast cancer related to my original cancers I may also have asbestos related cancer but they deemed to risky to go in and check and while in there identify which of the original breast cancers is the culprit, I was told without chemo I won't make christmas and with it for as long as I can tolerate it I may have 1-3 years and there is a big question mark on that as I am not well . I have had ductal carninomas all along and now they are giving me hormonal tablets to prevent hormone based cancers I went change of life via my hysterectomy re cervical cancer then tamoxifen etc at the first breast cancer I can't see the point of it now and with all the lovely change of life affects it will inflict on me i don't know if any of you lovely people can see what is to be gained especially when I alreay am on borrowed time I would love to know. funny enough I am strangely at peace with myself and the situation for I haven't asked for much out of life but I have had that and more great love and friends and family/extended family as I have a habit of making  friends and adding them to my family for I love people and the amazingworld we live in. I was al set to live out my 40s plus life in my lovely little house in this village on Moreton Bay and enjoy my nursing, friends, and life for years to come.

    It is funny from the day we women are born to the day we pass out of this world we are poked and prodded in more places then I can count and for the most part we handle it with the grace that makes us who and what we are if it was our men bless them there'd be no kids and lots of oh no dear I have a headache etc; but we lovethem for who they are.

    I don't know what the rest of my forties+ hold for me depending on my cancer but I am taking each day as itcomes with a smile and thanking the powers that be each night for all that I have and am I may not see much longer but I am losing the buxom wench look which means retail therapy for new clothes my dietition says i must eat high protein food or anything to stabilise my weight forthe real battle for my life hasn't started yet and I need to eat whatever I fancy to keep going so cholate etc look out, my loved ones and strangers say I look great not knowing the battle others including myself are fighting inside and it ain't pretty so to speak as some of you would know but this womans gonna fight and pray i beat it or a cure comes or go down fighting hoping that any reasearch I am part of will help others to live well and long.

    The 40-60s are your golden years when you and your other half can have time for you and not feel selfish worrying about the kids or watching your kids step into their adult lives and the wonders they bring and you hopefully striding into a fun filled cancer free/ pain free future, thamkyoy for listening/reading and may all your tomorrows be joyful

  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 16,818
    edited July 2011

    Wow pminxy, what a journey you have been on!!!  I am also stage IV and an Aussie...............welcome to BCO....it really is a great place to find support and friendship.  I'll PM you.

    Love n hugs.  Chrissy

  • Foxlairfrm
    Foxlairfrm Member Posts: 214
    edited July 2011

    Paula, you are in a difficult position. I can certainly sympathize with you. We had to move my step-dad in to our rental next door so we could take care of him as he was going through big time surgery. STUBBORN! Can't even describe it. He is doing much better now, but it takes a lot of patience and energy. Thank goodness it was early last year before my re-dx. He is 77, a welshman and stuck in his British ways! Nothing against the Brits! Good luck.

    Foxy

  • reesie
    reesie Member Posts: 2,078
    edited July 2011

    Welcome pminxy - what a roller coaster ride you've been on. There's a great group here and we can be serious when needed but cah have lots of fun too! Come in, sit down, take a load off and Join in all the craziness with us.

  • jo1955
    jo1955 Member Posts: 8,543
    edited July 2011

    pminxy - Welcome to the club no one wants to be a member of.  You have been on an incredile journey and here you will find lots off support and information. (((HUGS)))

  • Paula66
    Paula66 Member Posts: 1,728
    edited July 2011

    Welcome pminxy Im so sorry to read all you have been thru.  The girls around here are a great bunch.  Im glad you found us. 

  • heartnsoul76
    heartnsoul76 Member Posts: 1,648
    edited July 2011

    Welcome, pminxy! You have had such a hard time of it! I hope you come back here often - these ladies will be here to help answer your questions, and give you a chuckle or two when you need it. Take good care of yourself!

  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited July 2011

    pminxy, I will add my welcome to the ones already given. You really got both barrels of B/C and then some.  I am going to hope that they find the best chemo cocktail for you and it starts wiping out those mets, so you will be able to prove that doctor wrong on his 1-3 year guess.  You say you have found a peaceful frame of mind, and I can tell you have a fighting spirit as well, so that is probably the best mentality to deal with everything.   I am kind of curious if the mets were from the first of second B/C.  They did not give chemo the second time, did they?   It is just not possible to know how invasive some of these cancers are.

    There is a whole forum on BC.org for Stage IV women.  You might find topics there that are for specific issues that you face.  We are happy to have you hang out with us also.

    HnS,  Like the new avatar pic?  Is that your bird?  I will get a new parakeet one day, but after my 15-yr-old dog goes I plan to be pet free for a couple years so I can travel and not have to make any pet arrangements.

  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited July 2011

    Who is supposed to do Weekend Mystery Pic?  I forgot.

  • reesie
    reesie Member Posts: 2,078
    edited July 2011

    I think it's Sheila.

  • walker2222
    walker2222 Member Posts: 558
    edited July 2011

    I am way behind in reading. I got to NM around 4 pm Thursday. Went straight to the hospital, he was sitting up in a chair. Visited with him for a couple of hours then left to get dinner and rest for the evening. One of my sisters went to visit for awhile. Got a call at 4:30 am that he was bleeding internally and to get back to the hospital. Ran blood work on him, so the Dr talked to us about reason for the bleeding, might be an ulcer. Blood work came back, luekemia is back full force. The Dr doesn't give him much time. My brother got here yesterday and my other sister is making later today. I am sitting with him now. He will open his eyes if you call his name but for the most part is unresponsive. Just making him comfortable right now. Found out he had a bad reaction to morphine so having to give him something else for pain.



    I saw my MO on Monday and he has schedule a bone scan for me next Tues. I will probably be back to town for it. We will be taking as a family what dad's wishes are when the time comes. So I will be leaving either Sunday with DH and DS or Monday with my sister.



    Saw PS on Wed. and feels I will not need a pump, he drained 20cc this time and go back on Friday. Lots going on.

  • walker2222
    walker2222 Member Posts: 558
    edited July 2011

    pminxy welcome please share with us any time. God bless you

  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 25,634
    edited July 2011

    elimar.....Im suppose to do the mystery picture.

    I thought it started Sunday.Wink

    I already have it. I can post it now if you are so bored.Laughing

    pminxy....Welcome to the sisterhood. ♥

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited July 2011

    Sheila, you should post on Friday so we have the weekend to guess and then you do the big reveal on Sunday. Looking forward to it!

    Miller, 20 cc's this time is GOOD. It looks like your body has figured out how to get rid of the fluid itself. How are YOU feeling? It doesn't look good for your Dad, I'll pray for you and your family over the next couple of weeks as things play out.....

  • sheila888
    sheila888 Member Posts: 25,634
    edited July 2011

    MYSTERY PICTURE

  • reesie
    reesie Member Posts: 2,078
    edited July 2011

    Now that looks like a close up of a cheeto :)

  • jo1955
    jo1955 Member Posts: 8,543
    edited July 2011

    Mystery pic guess - counter top or floor tiles????

    (((mjbmiller))) 

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited July 2011

    Mystery picture - sponge

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited July 2011

    Sponge TOFFEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • barbe1958
    barbe1958 Member Posts: 19,757
    edited July 2011

    Like in a Coffee Crisp chocolate bar!!!

  • Eph3_12
    Eph3_12 Member Posts: 4,781
    edited July 2011

    My 1st thought was sponge but Faulkh already guessed that so I'll say a loofah for the bath/shower.

  • walker2222
    walker2222 Member Posts: 558
    edited July 2011
  • Paula66
    Paula66 Member Posts: 1,728
    edited July 2011

    I say its a wall treatment!

  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited July 2011

    Some good guesses already.  I will guess a pancake or maybe an omelet.

    mjb,  So sorry to hear the leukemia is back.  Now is the time for the family to just be there for him.  Even when they are too weak to respond, it is said that they still hear when you are talking to them. I think it would be comforting for a sick person to hear a familiar voice among all the strangers' voices they hear in the hospital.

  • heartnsoul76
    heartnsoul76 Member Posts: 1,648
    edited July 2011

    mjb - so sorry to hear of everything you and your dad are going through. So difficult - my prayers are with you and your dad and your family.

    Elimar - that is NOT a picture of my parakeet, Hooter, but it looks like him! He's such a joy, and I wanted to put his pic up for a while but couldn't find a good one, so I borrowed that one. He's just a little chatterbox, sings and sings.

    I think reesie guessed what the mystery pic is right off the bat! 

  • Huskerkkc
    Huskerkkc Member Posts: 536
    edited July 2011

    my guess is bread!

  • janinnj
    janinnj Member Posts: 89
    edited July 2011

    MJB- I was just thinking about you this morning and wondering how you were doing since you hadn't posted in a few days.  Glad your fluid situation is improving.  So sorry to here about your Dad.

    Mystery pic guess  Cork?

  • marlegal
    marlegal Member Posts: 2,264
    edited July 2011

    Welcome to our newest Australian member. I'm so sorry for all you've gone through and hope you can share many laughs with us.

    MJB, I'm glad you and your sibs are all able to be with Dad and by all means talk to him every chance you get.

    Eli, woo hoo for good test results ... I had my mammo a few weeks ago and my BSGI last week and both were clear so I did a little dancing this week myself :)

    I think granite counter would be my guess too ... we'll see :)

  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited July 2011

    Mar, you are going on six years now.  Are you back to yearly mammo screenings, or do they keep giving us diagnostic ones (more views) on our treatment side?   What about the MO, are we lifetime patients as far as they are concerned?

    I heard that after three years, I will only get the mammos once a year but I forgot to ask if it was going back to the basic screening.

  • Valjean
    Valjean Member Posts: 1,898
    edited July 2011

    pminxy ~ Welcome to our caring group of sisters. Visit as often as you can.

    MJB ~ I was also wondering how you've been doing. So sorry to hear about your Dad as well.  

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