Women under 45 stage II w/node involvement?

ER positive, and my doc said no too---too young for the risks.  One major one is bone density.  I already have pretty severe scoliosis (wore a brace as a kid and everything), and my maternal grandmother lost a whole FOOT in height due to osteoperosis.  

Hey Suz.  I'm sorry you're going through this. My son was 4--just turned 5 last weekend.  I said, "Mommy has breast cancer (I was afraid he'd hear it from someone else and be freaked).  That means that Mommy has an owie inside her breast.  So, I'm going to have lots of doctor appointments, and I"m going to get medicine that will make me all better on the inside, but may make me feel sick on the outside.  There are some funny side effects.  Wanna hear them?  Well, I may get the poopies a lot (giggle giggle) and I'm going to lose my hair for a while."  The hair thing he did NOT like.  I had to tell him it would grow back, but would take a while, and he helped Daddy shave my head when it came time and I think that really helped b/c none of us was upset and crying.  My mom was taking pics--I have a great one where I've got a mohawk and I'm flipping off the camera.  

Anyway, honesty is good, but only as much information as is age-appropriate.  We've never discussed dying--not happening!!!!

 Best of luck as you await more results. 

Hi Suz39.... So sorry you had to join our club, but happy you found this place, it is wonderful!!!! Especially b/c we are all so young that it's hard to find people that truly relate in the "real life" (non cyber)



Your diagnosis sounds SO similar to mine it's scary. I also went into surgery (I had a BMX w/ immediate TE's back in June) being told I had DCIS in my left breast....would need surgery and than was going to be put on tamoxifen for 5 years.....even my sentinel nodes were negative during the freeze test while I was on the table.....well, lo and behold a week later I get my path report back and one of the 3 nodes came back positive....the tumor went from DCIS to IDC and now needed chemo. I was so upset..... U



In regards to kids, I have an 8 year old (she turned 8 yesterday) and she still hasn't been told the "C" word. She knows mommy's not well nd that I had tumors removed but I asked her a month or so back if she knew what the word cancer meant and she said "yes, it means when someone gets really sick and than the die". That broke my heart!!!!! We didn't tell her about the cancer part because we originally felt there would be no need if I was going to have any visible signs of cancer why scare her??? WELL...now we are going to tell her more of the story because my hair will be falling out soon from chemo...... I think we're basically going to tell her that "mommy had cancer in her boobie but the surgeries took it all out, but now I'll just need some really strong medicine that's going to make my hair fall out.....BUT that it'll be fun to play dress up with scarves and wigs and the strong medicine is going to make sure the bad cancer doesn't ever come back"



It's SO hard with having kids I think? Because us Mommies are their whole world most times....and we have to be strong at all times for their sake.....and sometimes we push ourselves to do things we shouldn't (like I did for my daughter's birthday!) because mom's ALWAYS put everyone else first. We don't really know any other way!!!



Anyways, sorry you are have to be here but welcome!!!

I agree pejkug....it is harder on them than we realize. I hate that too. I can tell my daughter is really sick of hearing "that might be too much for mommy to do" or "maybe next time mommy will be strong enough for that" :0(

It really breaks my heart....I'm 35 years old and can barely take her shopping for party supplies for her birthday without needing to go rest afterwards!!!! It's not supposed to be this way! :0(

It is hard to not have the stamina to keep up with all the things that my kids want to do this summer.  They're itching to go to the pool but I'm in the middle of rads and I just cannot take all that sun right now.

I keep reminding myself that the goal of treatment is to do it so you have many summers after this one to enjoy with them.  And I fully intend to do that!!

Good luck with chemo, Madismommy and Suz39.  I did 6 rounds of TCH and will continue on Herceptin until February.  Chemo was not nearly as horrible as I thought it would be.  And now, 6 weeks PFC, my hair is growing back in and chemo is a distant memory.  What a wild, wild ride this year has been!

We were pretty open with my kids (9 & 11). We told them all about chemo etc and they handled it pretty good. We also joined a support group with other children whose parents have/had cancer. They liked meeting other kids going through something similar. Kids are resilient. My kids have gone through a lot in one year but they are still laughing and smiling. We also kept their schedules the same -- as hard as it was and thanks to friends and family, they stayed in their sports.



Chemo is doable. I had 6 x FEC-T and although some days did suck--overall it was not what I imagined. You will get through it !

Suz..Like I mentioned, FEC-T was OK for me---worst part was the T at the end with some aches---but Doc gave me some Tylenol 3 to help if it got bad. The Docs and Nurses don't want you to have any problems through treatment--so if you have nausea--tell the Doc and they will help. I remember going to the first one--so nervous--before I knew it, it was done!

I started chemo last August--shaved my hair off about a couple of weeks after my first chemo and then lost my hair completely a little after the second chemo. I did buy a wig---more because of my kids--and I wore it maybe 2/3 times...bought some great head scarves from that beaubeau and they were so nice--wore those mostly. Kids got used to me with no hair and weren't too bothered.

Hi Ladies,

Thanks for the support!  Blue wig sounds awesome!  Rachel, thanks for the tip on the T.

My chemo has been scheduled for next Wednesday.  Eeeee!  I can't wait to get to the other side, like you awesome ladies.

Do you know what day you start, Madismommy?  I'm glad to hear that all your nodes are clear.  It must not have been much fun to have to go back for AND.  This might happen to me as well, still waiting for results of my biopsy. 

Hi pebee.... Of course you can join too! . I'm sorry to hear they found a surprise tumor that's sending you back to chemo! That sucks!!!



Suz....I still don't have my official start date yet, we were waiting on my AND path report and now I have to heal 100% from it and get my Muga scan and treatment class..... I meet with my oncology team on Tuesday to confirm my treatment path. I'm hoping mid-august to start....

Uggh!  I hate to hear of other stories like mine.  What a year!  No kidding .  Taylor, it sounds like they found your cancer early, and from everything I am reading on these threads, finding BC early means a good prognosis.  When you talk to your kids, really focus on the fact that this is not going to kill you.  My kids are a little young to understand death, so I don't think they really worried about it, but yours are older, so it is probably worthwhile to focus on the positive aspects of finding it early.  Not that I am an expert on cancer or talking to kids, but just my thoughts.  I'm so sorry that you have to go through this, any of us.

Madismommy, have you seen a physiotherapist to help you with your recovery from the AND?  I had my first appt. with one yesterday.  The place I went to specializes in cancer patients, and I found it really helpful.  I hope to learn about manual lymphatic drainage, massage, etc.  For now she is teaching me stretches to reduce the scar tissue, and improve my mobility.  Good luck with your recovery. 

Hi all,

I've been away from bc.org for months while I finished chemo & rads. Last rads was Tuesday (July 19th) so I'm now done with active treatment, forever if I have my way. 

So glad to see a board like this & hoping I can join in a little even though I'm stage 1 with no nodes, I did have ITCs in the one node they took however. It's hard to find younger women in a similar boat.

In fact, I went to my first-ever support group meeting about a week ago and was the youngest by far. One of them was a former high school teacher of mine, which was odd but nice. All the ladies there were great but it makes it hard to connect in some ways because my story and everyday life are so different from theirs.

I was dx last Nov. after I found my own lump while showering. This was between mammos, all of which (all 3 since I was only 43 at the time) were always clear. In fact, the diagnostic mammo they did after I found lump was "clear" but was seen on an ultrasound. That was the beginning, now I'm at the end of this, I hope.

My daughters are also young, 11 and 7, and it has been hard but they have been great. I told them right away because I knew I'd have trouble keeping it together. It was the right decision for our family and they have been supportive and helpful all the way through this. 

Now that I'm at the end of active treatment, I'm feeling weird, letting this all sink in after all the months of appointments and treatments and dealing with SEs.  I may just lurk here but wanted to say hi and thanks for all your stories. Be strong sisters!

Taylor.... I had a bilateral mastectomy in June and I had all the same emotions you are feeling right now, I was pretty much terrified going into it. I can honestly tell you that you're going to be ok!!! The pain is pretty intense, but there's drugs for that!!! And when they say "take it EASY" they mean it... That's where most of my pain came from, too much movement, etc.

The drains are unpleasant and annoying but not that bad!!! And you get used to them being there.... Hopefully they'll be in there a minimal amount of time for you!!!!

I lived in comfy jammies after surgery.... At the hospital and at home, buy several pairs because putting on clean jammies is wonderful after laying around and unable to shower at first. And make sure they are button down the front!!!! Much easier to get on and off.....

And let me just tell you that I had so much depression over loses my god given breasts....I had these horrific images in my head of what I would like it, etc..... And it honestly is NOT that bad.....i was so pleasantly surprised. PLUS knowin the cancer was no longer there was a relief. And I'm 5 weeks post surgery and I'm totally at peace with my boobs and nipples being gone.....I did do reconstruction w/ tissue expanders so that does help somewhat with what I see, I wasn't completely flat immediately after.....(although I was only a B cup pre-BC)

Did your BS give you anything for your anxiety??? It sounds like Xanax would help you a lot? One a day for me really took the anxiety edge off.....



Hang in there, you can get through this!!!!!!!! :0)

Hey Everyone,

I was diagnosed 2.5 years ago when I was 37. I am getting ready to celebrate my 40th birthday, and my 2 year done with chemo anniversary. Woo hoo! I had ACT (4 AC and 12 T), bilateral, reconstruction (done finally), Tamoxifen for 11 months (it made me really sick). Complete hysterectomy and oophorectomy almost a year ago and on Femara now. Feeling great and loving life!!

Take care!

I have five little ones.  They are 11, 9, 7, 6 and 3.  My DH and I have always been open and honest with them about BC.  I still remember the night at dinner when we told them "Mommy has BC."  I remember thinking to myself, "Please don't let one of them ask me if I'm going to die".  Sure enough the 7 year DD said, "Mommy, are you going to die?"  I said, "Yes.  We all die, but that won't happen for a really, really long time!"  My kids have been amazing and an unimaginable source of strength for me on this journey.  I'm thankful for the lessons they teach me everyday

Tammy