Starting Chemo and Freaking Out

USin Germany- Chemo can be very scary. However, it is doable. I did 6 rounds of Taxatere/Cytoxan and although I was very tired and it got progressively worst with each treatment. It was doable, they have come a long way in helping us with side effects due to Chemo. keep you head up and DO IT ! We can beat CANCER!!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!! Good luck sending hugs your way...

I would ask for some anti-anxiety meds such as Diazepam, Lorazepam, Ativan, etc. to help you get through those anxiety attacks along with a sleep aid.

I freaked out about having to do chemo - I anticipated the absolute worse but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.  I never got sick -  just tired and had chemo fog for a long time afterwards.  The worst for me was losing my hair and then gaining 30 lbs from the steroids.

OT - Are you being treated at Landstuhl?

Hi USinGermany,

 Dont worry chemo treatment is doable, there are bad days and good days too, but just concentrate on getting well through chemo and this will make you feel more positive towards chemo.  I remember too last year I hade 8 cycles of AC and docetaxel, and I survived.  I have now my hair my eyebrows, etc and soon will be celebrating my birthday on July 7, my 36th year of life.  So dont be anxious, pray and surround yourself with happy and positive people, this will help you a alot.  You already have undergone surgery so one milestone achieved...Keep the faith..be strong.

USinGermany - I lived in Germany twice and actually worked at Landstuhl for a brief time - actually it was a volunteer job in the burn ward.  I do know that it is the best military hospital facility in all of Europe.  I have only visited Frankfurt. 

My father was stationed at Sembach AFB in the 60's and then we were at Ramstein AFB from 1975 to 1978.

I am also facing Chemo shortly, waiting for the Oncotype DX test to come back but the Doctor feels like I need this. I just don't think I can do it, I know I should be more afraid of the Cancer than the treatment but I cannot get past this. I take anexiety meds but they must not be strong enough because I am still so scared. I can do tired, not sure about mouth sores, hopefully the nausea meds don't make you feel druged as I have to work. This is such a nightmare isn't it? I am not secure in my marriage right now;  so I am trying to cope with this as well, seems like too much to bear sometimes.

I was horribly stressed out before my first chemo.  I was SO scared!!!  I cried when they put the IV in me the first time because of everything I had heard.

I breezed right through it. Sure, I had some side effects...I was tired, had some nasal sores (which was like having a cold), constipation, etc., but I never had nausea, vomiting,or mouth sores.  I anticipated the worst and it never happened.  Even if you do have those side effects, they have meds you can take.

It really wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be and I never missed a day of work!  It helped that I had chemo on Friday so I had Sat. and Sun. to recover.  But it wasn't as bad as what I built up in my mind.

Good luck!

Thank you IllinoisNative....you, along with Janice, have eased some of my fears.

I agree with Paula.  I took a xanex before my chemo appointment...and they still gave me Ativan in my chemo cocktail.  I really was a hysterical mess because I had an intense fear of chemo.  It didn't help that they gave me sheets of information on the drugs they were going to give me...and all the side effects.  I was a paralyzed with fear.

But the chemo, itself, was a breeze.  You may experience some side effects afterwards.  My worst side effect was the nasal sores only because I already have a deviated septum so it was hard to sleep at night since it felt like I had a constant cold for about a week.  But the end of the second week it cleared up and I could have run a marathon!  The other side effect was heartburn.  So I recommend going on Prilosec or something similar during chemo.

I never needed any anti-nausea meds at all.  In fact, I gained weight.  The one side effect of chemo that I wanted was weight loss and I didn't get it.  LOL!

Let us know how it goes.

For me, it is the waiting for the chemo. to begin. Because, as you said Paula, it is the unknown! I can't think of any other time in my life when I have known something "bad" was going to happen to me so far ahead of time anyway. It is really hard to just carry on merrily w/ this doomsday feeling. Up to this point in my treatment, events have moved along fairly rapidly. I have family coming up for a reunion that we have been planning for awhile, so I delayed treatment until August. The onc. is on vacation the first week of aug., though, so August 8 is the set day.The Taxotere is a Nightmere post isn't helping,either! Geez. 

Hang in there vtEllen.  Taxol and Taxotere are no fun, but not nearly as bad as AC.  They give you benedryl in advanceof taxol so most folks get sleepy and dreamy.  I had restless legs so I got benadryl and ativan.  The treatment was a breeze as I slept thru most of them.  There is some bone pain, but it will peak, and then go away.  You will do fine, each treatment you do will be one more less that you have to do.  We are all here for you.

elycekap, so sorry you have to go thru this again.  I am hoping you feel better fast.

I had 6 treatments of taxotere and cytoxan, three weeks apart, from March to June of 2010.  The first tx was the scariest because I didn't know what to expect.  But I got through it, and it was way less awful than I had feared. 

My infusion day was Tuesday.  Tues & Weds I was buzzed up on steroids and got a lot of housework done.  Thurs & Fri were my worst days, but even then not too bad, with anti-nausea meds and a bland diet.  By Sat I "turned the corner" to feeling better so did not feel crappy the whole time. 

Stay hydrated, eat what tastes good, and try to get some exercise - I walked most days even if it was just a slow walk around the block. 

Chemo is different today than it was years ago, it still sucks but there are meds for most everything and oncology is on-call 24/7 so there's always someone available to help.

I totally agree about joining a thread with women starting chemo the same month as you. 

Best wishes and {{hugs}}

This July seems to be a "popular" time for starting chemo.  Me too - next week - adriamycin and cytoxan x 4 then taxol x 12.  Terrified beyond all recognition of the needles, the side effects, etc, but hopefully I'll be able to join the others in saying it wasn't as bad as I anticipated (that's if I get up the courage to go)!

I want to trust in this journey that I don't understand.  Hugs to all the newbies starting with me this month, and thanks to those ahead of us with encouraging words.

Badger - had to laugh at your post.  I remember the dreaded dexamethazone (steroids) that I had to take but the problem was yes....I was hyped up but not enough to do housework as I was a slug through most of my chemo.  Instead I would lay away and just stare at the walls or the TV, or whatever and not remember anything that I saw or read or why I was in the kitchen at that particular time.  I so wish I was wired up enough to clean baseboards but unfortunately NOT!

I will say this....if I had to do it over again I would get a port.  I have always been one to watch the needle go in - watch the blood come out into the tube so that wasn't an issue for me.  I only had 8 treatments (dose dense every 2 weeks) so I figured "Ok, no big deal" and I had great veins for drawing blood.  What I didn't know was that chemo would destroy my veins.  Now they collapse and roll when they try to draw blood.  The last time I was in the ER they stuck me 8 times before they could get a vein and so I was bruised up and down my arm and because of lympedema risk I only have one arm they can use.  The chemo nurses are the best at blood draws.  Now I just ask for a pediatric blood draw where they use those tiny needles and thin plastic tubing to get blood from me.  I only wish back then I knew what chemo would do to my veins but when everything is happening so fast you don't think to ask those questions and nobody brought it up to me.

Hi newbies

Chemo really can be doable. When I started chemo I just sit there waiting on all the awful side effects to kick in. They never really did. They have very good drugs now. Just take t one day at a time and you will do ok. My best advice is to drink lots and lots and Lots of water. Did I say lots of water? And ask the doctors for any drugs you may need and take them. We are all here for you. We did it and so can you.