JUNE 2011 RADS

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  • mammalou
    mammalou Member Posts: 823
    edited July 2011

    suebak... can I join the pity party, please!  I have been crying for a week.  I don't know how I'm going to go back to work in August. I am so emotional.  My skin is so red and it hurts.  I get the bolus 2 days on and 1 day off.  I did have a mastectomy, but I also had cancer in the skin lymphatic vessels.  My bolus feels like it is also in my arm pit.  I'm not too tired yet and I'm not planning on it.  I have 6 more regular, then 5 boosts to the breast.   I'm wondering why they don't boost the lymph nodes

  • mostlymom
    mostlymom Member Posts: 466
    edited July 2011
    I have 15 rads left - the last 3 boosts....  I don't know how I'm going to make it.  I'm so leathery brown & itchy but know I can't touch.  I'm using a lot of aloe & aquaphor & it makes it almost bareable.  I am in the midst of a major pity party & am trying not to scare the he!! out of my DH & DD but not having much luck.  I'm missed so much work I'm afraid everytime I go back that I'll be fired.  I have no control over my emotions & I'm sure I make my co-workers uncomfortable.  I'm a mess....  Cry  And as you can see, my world has imploded to where it's just me me me....
  • stage1
    stage1 Member Posts: 475
    edited July 2011
    Dear FriendsCoolI finished!!!  My last treatment was today.  I feel free, right now, but start the Arimidex tomorrow.  They say it will have SEs...I am really concerned about bone loss...  Each step seems more frightful than the last, but at least I do not have to go back to rads.  Most of you are right behind me, I am burnt, but ready to healSmileNow if we could just heal our minds against this awful disease.  My thoughts are with you all!!!
  • Maybe484
    Maybe484 Member Posts: 170
    edited July 2011

    pejkug 3, I had a lumpectomy because if I hadn't had a lumpectomy, I'd have had to have an arm amputation!  Just kidding--sort of.  But my bc was at the very tail of breast tissue, high in the axilla.  I had to have a re-excision and SNB a month later, then I began rads 5 or 6 wks. after that.  I woke up tonight in pain--should've taken my usual sleeping pill, but was afraid of addiction.  Now, in the middle of the night, I'm thinking the addiction is the lesser of the two evils and will wean off after rads finish.  I'm in quite a bit of pain right now and just had #11 Wed.  So if I have to have a bolus with my boosts (or DO they use bolus with boosts?  Yikes!  That seems like a lot!), I think I'll have some difficulty.  Right now I feel as if my underarm has been dragged across asphalt.  Hoping the Ambien will kick in soon.  Have any of you used Lunesta?

    ETA: Yea for you, stage 1,  being finished!  I'm not looking forward to endocrine therapy either--and I know that will follow.  My tumor was 100% ER+, so a little pill with big SEs will be my best line of defense.  So I did rads, why?  Oh yeah, local recurrence!  Don't want it in my axilla ever again, that's for sure.

    I've been much more emotional than usual through the whole process.  Just had a good cry in bed till my crying roused usually sound sleeping DH. 

    Good luck one and all! 

  • suebak
    suebak Member Posts: 199
    edited July 2011

    Mammalou and Mostleymom-It is nice to hear I am not the only one losing it here. I am working full time, have not missed a day, with the exception of right after surgery.  I open our agency everyday, the agency owner has always been able to depend on me to do that and he has no sympathy what so ever for what I am dealing with right now.

    Duckyb-Getting together for lunch sounds great.  I too, grew up in Phila, moved to Ridley 17 years ago.  Hopefully, I won't be too tired after rads are done.  DH, the kids and I are all heading to Vegas on Aug 10th, 2 weeks after rads are completed. Our youngest daughter, we have 4 children, is turning 21 and that is what she wanted to do for her  birthday.

    Another day, another treatment.  Hope everyone has a wonderful day.

  • Beetlebum
    Beetlebum Member Posts: 73
    edited July 2011

    Sue:  I'm sorry your boss doesn't have any feelings.  I bet if he were to get, say...prostate cancer it would be a different story.  Not that I would wish that on anyone. Sounds like you're in the insurance business.  I am a retired agent myself.  Advice:  Don't be a hero.  You won't get a raise or a bonus even if you are a hero.  Speaking from experience.  Take care of you.  Hang in there.  I have 11 more rads to go.  I will be so happy when this is done.  My breast looks like somebody put it through a ringer.  Love to all. 

  • crog234
    crog234 Member Posts: 801
    edited July 2011

    Sue --  I also start boosts on Friday.  Can't wait for this to be over with.  I have been quite tired off and on the last few days and very emotional.  Hate the thought of being more tired after boosts.  Take care everyone and we will get through this..

     Cindy

  • suebak
    suebak Member Posts: 199
    edited July 2011

    Beetlebum-I am an insurance agent. You are very right about the guys who owns the agency. When I told him I had breast cancer, his first response was "This is going to interfere with my vacation is it". Can you imagine.  Then told me it was not that big of a deal, you just get them taken off and that is that.  My husband told me to quit right then and there.  Obviously, I have to work.  I know this guy all too well, work with him for 11 years.  He is very selfish and self centered.  I feel sorry for him, I don't think he is capable of having an emotional attachment to anyone and that is sad.

    Crog234-I wish you luck.  They told me today, they will make a mold tomorrow for the boosts and the treatment will be quick.  RO did say I will burn a little more next week.  We are almost there and we will get there together.  I don't know how I would have gotten through all this without the support of all of you ladies.

  • coni111852
    coni111852 Member Posts: 419
    edited July 2011

    Wow surback! I really admire you guys for working through it all , I couldn't I haven't been working since sept and doc said probably not until march next yr! You guys can't apply for disability? I did! Don't get a lot but is something! I hope your boss changes his attitude, unless you don't go through it yourself, you don't know what is like! And it would suck that he get something like just so he can learn to be more sympathetic. We are not immune to this disease now more and more cancer it's been diagnose it's in sane! Really makes you wonder what we have done to our environment, and what we are being fed!

  • crog234
    crog234 Member Posts: 801
    edited July 2011

    Sue  Had my boosts mold made already.  Didn't take long at all to make.  Good luck... 

     Cindy

  • Elizabeth1889
    Elizabeth1889 Member Posts: 1,036
    edited July 2011

    We all seem to have company with our emotional turmoil.  For some reason, rad treatments make the tears flow.  Sending hugs to everyone who is crying today.  Hang in there.

  • Fitz33
    Fitz33 Member Posts: 243
    edited July 2011

    Sue, I've already had my set-up for 7 boosts at the end of the 25 and my RO told me the boosts will be easier on the skin than the regular rads.  He said the boosts are going to be aimed at my incision marks...as long as they're away from my itchy chest I'll be happy.  I'm using a prescription cream now on the chest but it's not helping with the itch much.  19/32 completed. 

    Sue, your boss is a jerk.  He should be turned in to EEOC for harassment but I know you won't do that....I'm just venting.  You've got enough on your plate without having to worry about him.

  • EmilyInOntario
    EmilyInOntario Member Posts: 626
    edited July 2011

    I have 3 more "regular" treatments and then 8 boosts. I already have been positioned in a mold for all the previous treatments. Do they make a new mold for boosts and how would it be different?

  • BlazerFanC
    BlazerFanC Member Posts: 71
    edited July 2011

    We're getting closer aren't we?  I finished my 25 regular rads yesterday and got a couple of days off for a planned mini-vacation.  My 8 boosts start on Monday!  My RO said the boosts will be away from the tender areas under my arm and breast.  How were boosts for those of you who finished them? 

  • Maybe484
    Maybe484 Member Posts: 170
    edited July 2011

    Two more days this week!  Yea!  Good luck to all!

    Sue, I want to echo what others here have said.  I learned the hard way that no matter how much I overextended myself at work, I wouldn't get any recognition for it.  All last year, I worked an overload (I'm salaried).  I really think the stress was a catalyst in my cancer.   I had my first surgery on a Friday and was back at work at 8 a.m. on Mon.  No thanks or acknowledgement for a job done--and done well.  Do what you need to do for YOURSELF.

    ETA:  I'm worried, cause I don't think my boosts are going to be easier.  My incision/tumor site is where I'm the most tender and red--my underarm.  I'm dreading the boosts, I must admit.

  • Beetlebum
    Beetlebum Member Posts: 73
    edited July 2011

    Ten more treatments to go, 5 regulars and 5 boosts.  I will be so happy!!!

  • suebak
    suebak Member Posts: 199
    edited July 2011

    Thanks guys for all the kind words.  I asked him  to back off, I am a little stressed out right now.  His reponse was "so am I". He is building a million dollar house, that is the stress in his life (lol).  Boy, what I wouldn't give to have his stress.

    maybe484-I too am a little nervous about my boosts.  My incision/mass is where I am most sore and burnt.  But, again, we will all get through this together

  • Beetlebum
    Beetlebum Member Posts: 73
    edited July 2011

    Sue, you wouldn't want his stress.  It sounds like a guy I worked for some years ago.  He was never happy.  Million dollar house on the lake, Mercedes, new cars for the kids, horses and horse trailer.  One Christmas we gave him a present.  It wasn't much but it was more than he gave us (nothing).  I can't remember how it came up but he said " I wish I was poor".  LOL  You just can't make this stuff up.  Hang in there.

  • suebak
    suebak Member Posts: 199
    edited July 2011

    Question for you pre-menopausal woman.  Has radiation interupted your monthlty period.  I did not get mine last month.  When I mention this to my RO, he said "you are not pregnant are you". I cried, this was yesterday, told you guys I was very emotional yesterday. When I could finally  answer, I said that would just be my luck.  I am 48 years old and my husband had a vasectomy 20 years ago. If whatever they cut, burned or whatever they did to him, grew back, I think I will cut it off. RO did say, it could be related to stress. 

    Bettlebum-You are so right.  All the money in the world coudn't buy what I have and I know and appreciate that.  Would be nice, when you are being taken advantage of, to be able to just walk out and quit.  Unfortunately, the bills must be paid.

  • LovesChristmas-Barb
    LovesChristmas-Barb Member Posts: 706
    edited July 2011
    suebak...My periods have been all over the place in the last few months. The first cycle after diagnosis lasted 53 days and this last one was 40 days. The cycle right before I was diagnosed was only 29 days so I would say that stress has messed mine up.
  • IllinoisNative
    IllinoisNative Member Posts: 125
    edited July 2011

    Well tomorrow is my last day of radiation.  I only had to do four weeks but at a higher level of radiation.  The last three have been boosts.  I'm red, itchy, and tender but the skin looks good and my RO is very pleased.  No blistering, sores, open wounds.  I'm just tired.  I could sleep all day if someone would let me.

    And I never quit wearing underwire.  I just can't.  The only cream I used is what my RO gave me and that is Radioplex.  The whole experience has not as bad as I anticipated, thank God.

    And are the shelf camis the ones with soft built in bras?

    Next is the journey on Tamoxifin.  Oh, joy. Smile

  • karebear76
    karebear76 Member Posts: 288
    edited July 2011

    Hey ladies.

    I just finished #26 today. Only 7 left!!!!

    I am sore and burnt but no blisters or peeling so that is great!!!

    Sorry some of you are having such a hard time. 

  • GmaFoley
    GmaFoley Member Posts: 7,091
    edited July 2011

    One thing I have learned through this experience.... the week after you finish is the worst.. I took pictures all the way through and all the red turned to peeling blisters the week after I stopped. (look horrible but it is part of the healing process I guess).. Keep the creams going all the way through even after your last treatment... I can see some light at the end of the tunnel, ladies... WE will be fine...

  • mammalou
    mammalou Member Posts: 823
    edited July 2011

    Hi guys.  I got my boost mold done today too.  5 regulars left and 5 boosts.  I'm so glad to hear that it's not just me that is emotional.  I get tears in my eyes constantly.  I am so worked up about returning to work.  The sad part is that I could stay off longer, but I feel so guilty not going back.  I'm a teacher and it's the beginning of the year and I feel I have to be there.  The sad part is that I know I should only be thinking about myself, but I can't stop myself.  SICK! 

  • Melanie_Ann
    Melanie_Ann Member Posts: 414
    edited July 2011

    suebak- Im premenopausal...well at least I hope I still am. Undecided But I haven't had a period since January. I started chemo Feb 1st and haven't had one since. So I'm not sure. But I'm sure any amount of stress on the body can stop your period.

    I'm down 18/33. And getting red. 

    I would love to take a break from work. I never did throughout all of this except for a few days here and there when I was really sick. But at those times I didn't really want to. It was something to do and keep my mind off treatments. Now, when I feel like I could..my job ends in a couple months (its temporary) and I kind of need the money. I used all of my paid time off and I'm not married so I don't have any other financial backup...I guess I'll get a break in a couple of months if I don't find a job right away. 

  • IllinoisNative
    IllinoisNative Member Posts: 125
    edited July 2011

    Suebak, as far as my period goes, my last chemo was 4-29-10.  I got my period July 5 for the first time since being done with chemo (2 months later)...and while in the middle of radiation.  So it didn't really affect me.  I'm 36 years old.

  • mammalou
    mammalou Member Posts: 823
    edited July 2011
    I just had had this great feeling that my life is really good and I can go forward with a positive attitude....... wait, now I feel like crying again.......wait......Laughing
  • Melanie_Ann
    Melanie_Ann Member Posts: 414
    edited July 2011

    Mammalou-..haha I have the same mood swings. It's exhausting sometimes!

  • duckyb1
    duckyb1 Member Posts: 13,369
    edited July 2011

    Ladies who are ready for "boosts"..................I had 8.......finished on June 15th.........Probably should not be on this thread now , but figured if I could help anyone and ease their mind I would try .....................my boosts were uneventful...............I have to say near the SNB scar, and the lumpectomy scar there was a little bit of peeling , and some discoloration, but that was it..............As far as tired goes..................................WOW..............that is what gets you.............the fatigue.............I still get tired, but then again it depends on the day, and what I'm doing...................My techs did tell me that I would get very tired after it was done, because the Rads are still working for you...................good luck, and hang in there.............its almost over, you should be able to see the finish line.................hugs.

  • Maybe484
    Maybe484 Member Posts: 170
    edited July 2011

    TGIF!

    After today I'll have 4 regular and 5 boosts to go.  They haven't said anything about making a boost mold for me.  I'll see my RO on Tues. and will ask questions about my boosts because of the axilla location of my cancer.  My underarm is already stressed to the max.

    Have a good day, all.

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