At a loss for words... (advice needed)

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JustaFriend
JustaFriend Member Posts: 1
edited June 2014 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts

Hello, and thanks in advance for reading my post-



Im looking for some words of advice for a friend who has gone thru reconstrution, and is depressed, and unhappy with the results..



While I have reservations saying anything about ones feelings because they are very real and personal.. I have no idea what to say to reassure her, and convey my understanding. Btw, did I happen to mention that im a guy, so really truely relating is outside my realm



She has shown me the reconstruction, and I think the results are amazing. She should have no worries, but thats easly said.



Any words of advice from other that can relate?



Thanks again for your posts!

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  • ruthbru
    ruthbru Member Posts: 57,235
    edited July 2011

    She needs to give it some time to settle in, and for her to adjust to it mentally herself. Does she know anyone else who has gone through this experience that she could  talk to? Could she join a local support group (her cancer treatment center could help her get hooked up with one)? Would she want to come BCO and talk to other women who have gone through the same thing. It really does help to talk to others who have 'been there, done that" and have come out O.K. Best of Luck to her and you too. Ruth

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  • CapeBretongirl
    CapeBretongirl Member Posts: 364
    edited July 2011

    Bump

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  • mrsnjband
    mrsnjband Member Posts: 1,409
    edited July 2011

    Is she getting counseling or meds to help her cope and get through this?   She has been to hell & back and has the right to be angry, frustrated, depressed.  It's okay to feel this way but getting help will be benefincial to her.  

    Sending love & support. NJ 

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  • beergirl
    beergirl Member Posts: 334
    edited July 2011

    I called American Cancer Society, on the advice of my cousin. A really nice volunteer who had been through a simialr diagnosis and treatment called me very soon and visited me twice. Our contact has been mostly by phone but it has really helped improve my attitude.

    Then, I found breastcancer.org. It has been priceless! I found friends on here willing  to discuss all aspects and stages of the disease. My doctors started out telling me to stay off the computer but recently my oncologist told me to get on the computer and get some good information out there. She said what gets posted most are negative comments and results. I found that, at least on bc.org, to be incorrect.

    When I saw my surgeon (2nd opinion one) I had a list of questions. She asked me where I got all my questions and I told her bc.org. She never smiled, but answered, "well, your're asking all the right questions."

    Some people never want to ask questions, especially to a doctor. I am a person filled with questions about everything and I realize that made it easier to reach out for help when I so desperately needed it.

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