Meltdown Anyone?

GmaFoley......

What a beautiful picture you gave all of us with God in His rocking chair.  It is a rough road we all travel whether it is with Rads or Chemo OR even worse for the ones who must endure both.  I remember alittle more than half way through the chemo my onco doc said the chemo tx plan I was on was one of the most difficult plans for any kind of cancer.  I couldn't help myself......I simply looked at this extremely intelligent, well thought of man and said "Duh" !

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time with the rads but try to look at it as you are almost to the finish line.  Sometimes that is all that kept me going.  Now I look forward to my last two Herceptin infusions.  Then I can get rid of this dang port.  It drives me bonkers and has from the beginning.  Feels like it is rubbing on a nerve every now & then.

StaceyLynn

All of us to some degree fight the anger & frustration that BC has done to our lives.  You didn't say where you are in treatment, but your dx is similar to my own with the exception that you are triple neg.  I will tell you that the further you get through tx you begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I got my feelings hurt the other night and at first I was angry, then all I could do is cry & cry some-more.  Then the next day, I got up making the decision that I will NOT be defined by what has happened to me.  I (nor does anyone else) ask for this ugly mess that will forever alter our lives.  But you are strong & you don't have to let it have control.......you fight back !!!  No matter how many doc appts. or scans or blood draws............YOU FIGHT !!!!!

Hope you both are having a good holiday weekend.  Any time you need to "talk" you can always PM me.

StaceyLynn......

Well girl it sounds like you have really gone the whole route !!  Since I am not having any good results from Arimadex or Femara next will be Tamoxifen.  Then that produces some decision making.  On one hand do transvaginal ultrasounds every 3 mons. or go have the hysterectomy.  Given that I was a Grade 3 I will probably go with the surgery. 

Sometimes talking to the onco dr. is frustrating.  My DH has been a patient of his for almost for years now.  It's like my "chemo brain" can't catch up with him so I miss getting info until the next appt.  Now I only go every third wk. for my Herceptin.  Two more and I am done.  Can hardly wait to get this power port out of me.

All I can say is BC sucks just like everyone else does.  Hold that chin up high and look for the sunshine.  Don't give up and don't let this stupid, ugly stuff control you !!!!  Fight ~~~~

wow...what a thread...all makes so much sense and helps to know perhaps I am not totally insane.

Hello from Katy............been absent for a while but I have an unbelievable reason.  I am keeping my eye on the goal line, one more Herceptin on this Thurs.  Ooops, what's this?  Oh!  I have a blood clot in my jugular vein...........port has quit working.  Really????

Pulling the port tomorrow, getting the last infusion the "old fashion way" via IV in hand.  But in the meantime giving myself injectables called Arixtra.  After port is pulled, I will be on oral blood thinners for the next 6 mons.  Another Venous Doppler @ about 3 mons.  AND we were to leave on vacation this coming Sunday.  Grrrrrrr.............wanna talk about meltdown !!!!

Does this EVER end????????  After more than a year, I want to wake up from this nightmare.

DelilahB, Thank you for reaching out to us.  Everyone here cares about you.  Please hang in there. Sometimes, it takes a long time, but life does get better.  Your family needs you and we need you, too.  We are all part of the BC sisterhood and none of us wants to lose anyone.  Please call whatever doctor you are closest to and tell them about your troubles.  Taking the first step to ask for help is very difficult, but meds really can help and so can therapy.  I use both so I know they can work.  Sending hugs and praying for you.

DelialahB Good advise from those above.  There are lots of people on these boards who care about your well being and are here for you.  Sometimes the hardest step is making the first call for help.  Please don't give up.  Take care of you.

Wendy 

Hi DelilahB:

How are you today?  I, along with your other BC sisters, have been thinking about you.  Please let us know how you are doing.  We always want to hear from you.  Please feel free to write to everyone or PM me any time.  Sending warm hugs. 

I feel as if I am having a slow, sinking meltdown. Last Monday I had the 2nd stage of surgery to remove dog ears and do some work on reconstructed breast. The breast was 3-4 sizes larger due to lymphoedema since February this year. My PS also removed a basal cell carcinoma from my nose. The strange thing is I feel worse than I did following the mastectomy and reconstruction! My PS drained 500mls of fluid from my breast and did some liposuction to make breast smaller. I have been wearing a compression bra 24/7. I just feel like my body has been hacked to pieces. I went through this surgery by myself thinking it was a small thing but was terrified walking into theatre. My husband picked me up but has seemed distant and not really interested in what's happened to my breast or tummy. The terrible thing is I've felt so low that I can't really tell if he is being distant or I'm just imagining it. I just want to lie down and rest/sleep. I had an MRI (for frozen shoulder) two weeks ago and they found a 1cm lesion in the bone marrow of the humerus. I got such a shock but everyone else was very blase about it. Followup bone scan was clear. I feel so whingy and unhappy and can't pull myself out of it.