Is anyone else an atheist with BC besides me?

All of you wonderful women who posted after my post made me feel so good. I do believe that what exists between between our birth and death is what matters, and only what matters. I'd love to imagine seeing my parents, who died awhile back, but I think seeing them in the dreams where they appear is where we see them, and anyone else we love.

I am in the middle of getting a second opinion on my dx and treatment, and it seems that things are worse than previously thought. (Most likely IBC, showing itself in an atypical way.) I'll let you know when I know more for certain, and that won't be until Friday, at least. 

Thanks to all of you who wrote. I have the most supportive husband and friends and family I could ask for. Two friends have been thru BC and are doing well, several years down the road. I find this website to be helpful in letting me say what I think without worrying that I'll upset anyone. (Not that most of my friends are religious...They are just emotionally invested.)

Take care of yourselves.

Love to all of you.

flannelette I find I can relate well to what you have posted.  Thank you.

Susanhf, I am sorry you are here.  The first bit of time after diagnois is the hardest, I think, because lots is said and often its a big "nevermind." I know my early tests added potential liver cancer, lung cancer and a thyroid problem all of which turned out to be nothing but all of which drove me to tears.  Hang out with your supportive family members and we will be here when you have learned more.

I've always considered myself an agnostic.  But since being diagnosed and after everything I've been through, I'm rethinking it.  It's not so much that I've turned religious, it's more that I think there is a higher power out there.  And I totally respect those that don't think that way.  

 It's just things have happened that makes me think someone above is watching out for me (and I know this could just come down to dumb luck...lol).  I had bronchitis a few months before being diagnosed with BC.  And that made me get health insurance because I was afraid that someone more serious would happen down the road.  What a life saver that was!!!  Then I had an aggressive tumor...and it died.  Not only did it die, it filled with blood allowing the tumor to get big so I would know it was there.  If it didn't die...if it didn't get big...it could have spread and I wouldn't have known it.  Now, I work in the medical field.  And one of my patients referred me to the world's BEST, kindest, most wonderful doctor in the world...who referred me to the BEST fertility doctor...who referred me to the BEST oncologist...who referred me to the BEST radiation oncologist.  I was led down a wonderful path.

 I can't get over how positive my experiences have been...from basically breezing through chemo, to breezing through surgeries.  My family, friends, doctors have been the best.  I've received nothing but love and support...and it's turned what could have been a hellish experience into one that made me grow as a person.  It made me appreciate what I have. 

 I just can't get over how, despite my diagnoses and what I've had to go through, it could have been so much worse...and it wasn't.  It's just made me rethink things.  JMO

IllinoisNative ... Welcome!

I know exactly what you are saying.  I've always thought that was what made me agnostic rather than true atheist.  It's not so much that I'm sure there is nothing beyond this realm ... more that I just don't know and don't believe we are meant to know if there is.  What I don't believe in is organized religion ... most of them and their rules seem more like man creating god in man's image ... if that makes any sense. 

Illinois and White Rabbit  I think this forum is about not being absolute.  Some people can make a religion out of being an athiest or an agnostic.  The problem with absolutes is that there is so much judgment in them.

notself - It isn't a hair color?

brigadoonbenson ... absolutely   This forum has always been about discussing and exploring all possibilities.  Which is what makes it fascinating! 

I have always thought that if there is a higher power evolved enough to create the universe that it would certainly be beyond caring about being worshiped in a particular way or get jealous or all the other human qualities and emotions religions attribute to it.    

Found it I posted a question on june_________already forgot. That when you die what do you think happens. Sorry memory lose due to brain injury. Again not challenging, just would like to know. You may have already told me , but i got myself stuck in asking the question again. Please forgive. sas

What question? Missed it completely.

And no, I didn't have any of those wonderful coincidences. Nothing fell into place for me. No great support or loving family. And right after completing treatment, my husband dropped dead. It's impossible for me to believe that "someone" is in charge, when so obviously, there isn't.

That's  why I come here, because it's for nonbelievers. BC finished off any thoughts of someone having my back.

Maya2 I am also sorry for what you have been through.  For me, I look at Maya2's experience and am more inclined to lean towards atheism than agnosticism---why should one person have everything fall into place and another have everything fall apart if there is a god?  If--as much of organized religion tells us--god is a parent and we are the children well then shouldn't a parent love all children equally?  Why should one child get the short end of the stick and another child get all the "candy"?  As a parent I would never give "all" to one of my monsters and then keep slapping down the others.  Unless of course I am cinderella's wicked stepmother.

No it is probably fairer to say that for me,  it was the negative things in the world that helped lead me to my present place.  I do remember as a teen thiking I refuse to believe in a god that treats his children so unevenly.

Maya2 thank you again for the train info.  I'm not sure that it came across in my PM that I really appreciated it.

I don't really think too much about whether there is a creator out there or not...and anyway even if there were, it/s/he would not be like us, sharing human emotions, feeling,intelligences etc... having been brought up as a Catholic, my biggest problem with the idea of God presented to me as a child was that when tragic things happen, natural disasters, wars, the suffering of children and innocents, god doesn't seem to come into the picture and is never portrayed as callous and uncaring and indifferent, but then when good things happen and turn out right it is always descibed as god's providence and the fact that he has been listening to prayers.  I just can't hack that..it is so obvious to me that life is random..and shit happens as well as all the other wonderful stuff, and we have very little control, as all of us on this forum are so very well aware.

As somebody said above it's what we do in between birth and death, the here and now that matters..and that doesn't exclude a certain type of spirituality, but I believe that that spirituality comes from a part of us as people... and out of nature, which like Caerus-Sunflowers I find totally enlightening.  Here are the first 2 stanzas of a poem by ee cummings ..it is in fact about God, but I ignore the god bit, as I so love the way the poet describes the overwhelming beauty of nature. That it is almost impossible to describe the beauty of the natural world around us in words..no words can truly express the sense of awe when we look around us. I hope some of you enjoy it too:

i thank You God for most this amazing

day: for the leaping greenly spirits of trees

and a blue true dream of sky; and for everything

which is natural which is infinite which is yes.

(i who have died am alive again today,

and this is the sun's birthday; this is ths birth

day of life and wings: and of the gay

great happening illimitably earth)

maria - THANK you! for that stunningly beautiful bit from eecumings. You could write out the whole poem! it's how I feel, sometimes, too - and I felt it especially during chemo in the fall of 2008 - I could hardly go inside - I would stand mesmerized by the blue of the sky with the red oak in front - I was so intensely happy to be alive.

I remember first tuning into ee cummings when I'd inhaled a certain substance... and

                                his

                                words

                                just

                                fell like rain

                               into my lap

ps this morning woke just as the morning star (Venus?) was rising into the perfect sky....and felt the same way

Arlene

Happy 4th to my friends in the States!

Have a perfectly "ungodly" time.

Nothing shaking here, but Bastille Day is soon. 

WOW,

I've just started reading a wonderful biography of Keats - have always loved his poetry.

Wow.  I haven't been here for a long time and it looks like no one else has either.  I have had my fill of religious fanatics today so came back to touch base.  Let's hear it for a reasoned approach to life.