stress and cancer

I truly feel for you, and understand.  I, too, really need some therapy.  But to me, it's yes, another co-pay, and a lot of time and energy that I worry will actually ADD to my stress.  It's been a year of endless doctor appointments, and I can only let go so many.  As for the rest of the stress, I can feel it start to creep in, after what was an amazing respite when nothing seemed important any more.  Was it like that for you during treatment?  Is it possible for you to try to remember that time?  Money, bills--none of it matters in the face of what we've been through.

Do you have a PCP who can prescribe you Zoloft or something similar.  About 2 years I was melting down, feeling sick & thought I was dying.  I went to about 3 counciling sessions.  I tried Zoloft but it made me worse & then switched to Lexapro.  That made a HUGE difference.  

I do understand about the $50 copay.  My kids are grown so I didn't have that issue.  As to the med bills just pay a little at a time, as long as you attempt to pay they can't do anything.  For a long time, all they got from me was $10.00.  DH has 10 accounts from when he had cancer.  They get $10.00 for a total of $100.00.  We've been paying that amount for 6 years.  They can fuss & threaten... tough!

I also don't deal with collections.  If I owe money, I send it to whomever I owe.  That really ticks off the collections people.

We are here for you, so rant away! NJ 

I had a melt down at my two year mark...I so thought I would be done with cancer and in a better place emotionally and physically! It is so frustrating to realize that this is my life now and there is no going back to that vivacious and vibrant 'wonder woman' I was before BC. 

I now have limitations that wear me down and sometimes make me feel like I am half the person I used to be.  Cleaning my house can be a major production and can take an entire weekend where as before I was able to whip through and clean the entire house in 5 hours! 

I am going for a bone scan in July to address persistent pain in my right (cancer side) chest wall and right leg.  I am 40 years old and sometimes I feel like I am 80.  To top it off after two years of fighting cancer and dr appts, money is TIGHT!  My hours have been cut in half and the stress is overwhelming.   We fought so hard to keep our heads above water and I feel like I am starting to go under.

I so understand where you are coming from!  I don't have the energy to do the things I used to.  I feel like I am a disappointment to my DH and my kids.  I am disappointed in myself.  It's hard getting used to this new normal and always looking over your shoulder wondering if the beast will return.

However, I am learning to not dwell on the person I used to be but to rejoice in the fact that I am still here to celebrate the little things with my family. My DS getting his learners permit and being able to teach him how to drive.  Being here to help my DD prepare for 8th grade and braces.  To have another year with my DH even though there are days he drives me crazy...

I truly hope your new job will help give you an outlet to get away from this BC crap and help remove some of the financial stress.   Be kind to yourself. It is so hard sometimes to be grateful but yet we do have so much to be grateful for. 

Just another thought, depression is real & it doesn't mean your a bad person because you need meds.  It just means you have fought hard & need a little help.  Hope things start looking up for you. NJ