I say yes, you say no, OR People are Strange

3monstmama, thank you for your suggestion. 

We, the mods, preach respect, kindness and support. After weeks of ongoing issues, and us spending 98% of the time on trying to put things in order, deleting a thread is sometimes the best solution. This constant fighting, reporting, and bullying has scared people away from our boards who really, really need the information and the support. This is just so sad to us at our organization. In addition, it is costly to BCO to pay us to have to deal with the group, and individual disagreements. We do think that there are some wonderful threads and connections among the members here, however, when a thread continues to be this hurtful, and always shows up in the "active topics" where the newbies often go, it is a huge risk to allow it to continue. Your suggestions are appreciated however.  

No, we don't need to delete it, IF you all please stop the public fighting. I know that this thread is important to so many, also because of Konakat's posts. Please just reign it all in folks. The Ignore button is there for you, and there are many, many other wonderful threads. Help us help those who really need the support! Take the fights off the boards, please! 

Can someone print out this thread before it's deleted?  I'd hate to lose any of Elizabeth's comments.

How are earth are we going to keep our thread out of the active list - we're always on it - really I think we are being asked to do the impossible - if the moderators are spending all their time on this thread perhaps they can solve the whole mess by not allowing reporting at all - and we can do our part by ignoring people that try to aggravate us - isn't that why brussels sprouts were invented?

Sandy

208 Sandy It is wonderful as an active thread, as long as it doesn't horrify and further distress newbies. 

What are we supposed to do when the post reporting and deletions start? 

I'm not trying to be snarky or troublesome ... this is a serious question.  You can't just 'ignore' the fact that you have been suspended or banned as a result.

Wabbit .. I can't remember who suggested it, but the suggestion was not to post notes that we've been banned or reported.  Kind've take the wind out of the sails.  I'm guilty of always cring on the thread when I've been reported.  If I just kept it to myself it might cut down on some of the animosity.

Just an idea.  But we can't do anything about the people who report us or when we get banned, we're kind've powerless over that part of it.

hugs,

Bren

Good point WhiteRabbit. We are working here on a few things that may help the situation. We are able to see who all has reported the posts once the post is "removed by the community". If posts get removed by the community wrongly, these folks will either be banned, or put on probation, depending on the situation. 

Please contact us though and let us know. Our tech team is doing some behind-the-scenes work to help out with this.

As long as comments stay respectful, and no zingers are thrown around, things could remain calmer even if this is happening.  Right?!

Moderators:

Thank you for taking the time to interact a bit in a few posts here today, especially since your time is stretched and BCO is huge. It takes some of the mystery (and the stress) away from confrontations.

I personally prefer it if, when things get really bad, you act as you did now by using your prerogative (whether one agrees with it or not - that is a separate point I am not interested in bringing up here) and deleting posts and also telling us where you are coming from. It shows you are involved and aware.

Singleton posts in which a general plea is made for peace and serenity usually make the situation even worse, IMO (again, just one cent here) because one is left wondering: "That's all you have to say??!!" In fact, I come away more annoyed after reading them.

This involvement, even with power of deletion exercised, conveys more clarity and transparency and also the idea that you, yourselves, realize that these are complex situations.

So thanks again. :-)

3monstmama

The "hurtful" comes from the insults and the reporting. Maybe not the best adjective, but negative for sure.

We starting the "report this post" to get rid of or reduce spam, which it has done quite successfully. We never in a million years anticipated having this issue. We may need to have to get rid of this function and opt for more spam instead. Can't believe a function made to help can backfire so badly at times. 

Many of those who have had their posts deleted, and have been stalked and targeted to be banned from the site, donated money to this organization to resolve these issues.  Their posts and their comments can be read on the "My Fellow Deletees and The Cyberbullied Sisters" thread.  We took the moderators at their word that something would be done, and were amazed at how quickly the deleting abated when the names of the reporters were listed.  For whatever reason, this was discontinued, and here we go again with the mass deletions, with many times the reporters going back weeks and months to find posts to report.  Those donations were given in good faith that the problem would be taken care of.  If the report button is being abused, take away the source of the problem.  I belong to several boards, and this problem is unique to this site, perhaps because you are not tracking IP addresses?  If we the users of the site utilized the "ignore" button, and you the moderators removed the "report" button, would it not eliminate much of the source of the stress?  This thread is in a forum for people who are beyond active treatment, have been down this road many times, and are not easily scared "newbies".  I too want a welcoming place for the newly diagnosed to go, but if we are being completely honest, you would have to remove 99% of the threads if you don't want to scare anyone, because the reality of breast cancer is terrifying to all concerned, but especially to someone just diagnosed. However, we old broads need a safe place also, and for many of us, this thread is it.

I have not been here as long as many others, but in that short time, at least 3 of our threads have been deleted, with the promise of "fixing" the problem.  Each time, it is the same names that appear just before the mass reporting and deletions occur. If you support the concept of being kind, please don't let the "mean girls" win by deleting this thread and driving more of us off of these boards.

Sisters, use that "ignore" button.  It makes life amazing peaceful!

Now, what's for dinner?

Mods ... I have noticed a total absence of spam for quite some time now ... in fact I mentioned it on your forum and thanked you for whatever you have done that seems to have blocked it before it ever gets on the board.

Is it possible that those changes have reduced the instances of spam enough that it could be controlled with just PMs to you ... and you seem to have somebody here all the time now ... and allow the reporting function to be done away with?

I don't believe anybody expected this misuse ... but the situation is what it is now and after several years of it happening it's hard to believe it is ever going to go away on its own.  Sad.

Edited for clarity ... re the spam appearing to be blocked so it never shows up

Summertyme....Blue is definitely being targeted. There is no doubt about that. It is just not fair because of that she is banned???  Makes absolutely no sense whats-so-ever. Other members simply should not have the power to do that by reporting posts that do not violate the forum rules.

I'd like to hear the answer to summertyme's question. To a lesser extent, it has happened to several people.

Mods: does it help if, when a post is reported, we bring it to your attention? I have done that but don't want to flood your inbox if it's not helpful.

In other words, how can WE help to make your job easier (besides being nice to each other, of course)?

Would a simple increase of the deletion requirement help - not five reports but ten reports needed to delete a post? Surely that would be a step in the right direction?

Just want to say to Moderators - the New Thread SUsieq58 started in Alternative, Complementary Forum is doing VERY WELL.  Really - we CAN make this work - thanks again, Judith & Co, for helping us make it work!