23 and Panic ridden
Hi ladies, I am not yet diagnosed but I am waiting on biopsy results and I am so distraught I really need some help. This is the longest weekend of my life and I know I should be out enjoying my life but I find myself stuck on this website most of the day.
I'm 23 years old and last Tuesday I went to my primary care doctor because of a lump in my breast, she felt it and said it was "very fibrocystic" and thought I was silly for wanting a sonogram. I got the sonogram of Friday and the Radiologist said it was a solid mass that showed characteristics of a fibroadenoma. She rated in Birads 4 and said it was policy to biopsy all solid lumps.
Later that same day I saw a breast surgeon who looked at the images and said she "thought" it was a fibroadenoma but she has seen cases like mine come back as a "low grade cancer". They scheduled me for a biopsy that same day. I was happy at the time but now I am freaking out that they rushed me into the biopsy because they are concerned its cancer.
The radiologist was very reassuring that it wasn't cancer before the biopsy but after the biopsy she just goes "well I dont THINK its anything". Wouldn't she have some sort of idea if it was a fibroadenoma by looking at the tissue?
I've been so nervous this past week and I do not think I can wait until Tuesday to see my biopsy results. The breast surgeon scheduled an appointment for me to get the results in person and said they don't call with results. Is that normal? I read so much about people getting their results by phone that I cant help but be scared that they know its serious but didn't want to scare me at the office.
Today I woke up with a cough and a sore spot on my ribs and I cannot stop thinkng I have a late stage mets cancer. I'm also sleeping all day because I'm basically just crying and having anxiety attacks when I'm awake. Can anyone offer any stories of hope or anything? I feel like I'm bothering my husband who is trying to stay strong for me but I know he is secretly worried too.
I feel like a literal insane person right now.
Comments
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Awwww JPC1987 I know the waiting is the worst part...but you are so young and the odds are in your favor. My GYN diagnosed me and he's known me for longer than you've been alive so he knew better than to make me wait for an in person appt to give me the results. I did get the dreaded phone call 6pm on a Thursday night. I will tell you this..I knew how the radiologist reacted at the ultra sound and how she reacted during the biopsy which I did the same day as the US basically because they had time to do it. I wouldn't read too much into doing the biopsy the same day. Doctors these days are so afraid of getting sued they don't want to say a peep until the lab results are in.
Call the doctor first thing tomorrow morning and ask him/her if they have the results to tell you over the phone. Remind them of the stress of waiting for the results maybe they will have a little compassion and ease your mind.
Sending positive vibes your way for Benign results!!! Hugs to you ...hang in there.
Diane
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I second the motion asking for a phone call and not making you wait for the results. I think the "come to my office" is old school and in many cases the radiologists who perform the biopsies are making the phone calls because they know how stressful it is to wait for results.
I wish I had words of encouragement on how to deal with the stress of waiting but I don't. Fortunately I was able to get some valium to help me through my anxiety attacks.
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Congratulations! You are reacting perfecly normal for someone in your position!!! I know that sounds dumb, but I wanted to give you a positive at this time.
They can't tell until it goes under the microscope. They are nervous about saying the wrong thing too!!
80% of BIOPSIED lumps are benign. That's not just LUMPS. That's BIOPSIED lumps. So, they're smart to get it biopsied, but you have an 80% chance of puking with relief on Tuesday!!
The Birads 4 is because they had to, to justify the biopsy. The biopsy is necessary because you didn't have a history of lumps. You may find out on Tuesday that you have dense breasts and it will be difficult in the coming years to spot anything suspicious. You may need an MRI to clear up any issues.
Good luck!! Remember to post here with your news, sweetie. We care!!!
(My first biopsy was at 21
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You're not insane. THIS is the appropriate time in your life to be freaking a bit. I mean, really, the odds are so totally in your favor that it's nothing, but it's really hard to hear that when everyone you're talking to here has a diagnosis of breast cancer and also had some great odds. What I do mean is that any normal person would be worried. Do what the other women said. Call on Monday. Tell them you're freaking and need to know.
My gyno prescribed me a little anti-anxiety med, Clonipin, after my diagnosis. She said the same to me...now is the time to take something. So, sometimes life is just abnormal and it's okay to be feeling that.
Try not to read into the speed of the tests or anything they said. They CAN'T tell you it's definitely nothing until they get the results back. It sounds like they're pretty optimistic. I'm really looking forward to hearing from you here tomorrow that I'll never hear from you again because you're leaving this site cancer-free.
Hang in there.
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Thank you guys so much. I have tears streaming down my face because of the relief I got from you guys just telling me I'm not a crazy person. I feel like everyone in my "real life" just thinks I'm obsessing and looking for something to be scared of. Everyone was SHOCKED when I actually had the fibroadenoma because they all thought I was being paranoid by even getting the sonogram, because I'm 23.
Profbee, you are so right. I know have good odds for this to be just a fibroadenoma but I've read lots of stories on here and elsewhere of girls who are 23-24 and had very late stage BC. How is it fair that those 23 year olds have to deal with this and somehow I wont? I have a hard time thinking I will slip through the cracks and be fine when others were not.
I have some Ativan from my previous hospitalization a few months ago and I feel guilty taking any but I just cannot sit and cry and think about death anymore.
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TAKE THE ATIVAN!!!!!
Get some rest. You're going to look back on this as one of the toughest weekends of your life. Even with benign results. So, go easy on yourself! -
@ Barbe1958- The breast surgeon actually did tell me I had extremely dense breasts (ugh) and assymetrical breasts. She said "the one good thing is that theyre bilaterally assymetrical". I walked out of there feeling like I had definite troublesome boobs.
Also, I dont know if you guys have ever heard of this but I got two ultrasounds on Friday (one was scheduled and one was for my immediate core needle biopsy) and the second radiologist looked at the ultrasound photos from earlier and goes: "Thats definitely a fibroadenoma!" and then once she put the u/s wand on me she goes: "Hmm that could actually be an island of normal breast tissue, not a fibroadenoma"
Is that normal? On one hand I think its good because normal breast tissue = good. But on the other hand, could it just mean that all the radiologists have no real idea what is in my breasts and it could be anything? I just keep hearing her say it in my mind and it's like haunting me!
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See, we TOLD YOU SO!! Even the pros don't know by looking at it!!!
The lump has to go under a microscope, and it is. You will know shortly.
You don't have to be brave, you just have to show up!
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JPC1987 - Most 23 year-olds have dense breasts! They are dense because you are young. The two US thing - they have to do the second one to guide the biospy, don't worry about that, totally routine. I have also noticed that radiologists often say stuff like "well it could be this, or maybe not", kind of like weather forecasters, "it may rain, or it may not" so don't read too much into that. The biopsy results are what will tell you, and while it is hell to wait, we have all been there and sympathize with how hard it is. Sending you a hug in the meantime!
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This morning the breast surgeons office called before I even woke up to confirm my appointment for tomorrow. I asked if they had the results by any chance to tell me over the phone and the nurse just said "No, the doctor will give you your results tomorrow" and I told her how stressed I was and wondering if they had the results to give me and she just said "no ma'm". I don't even know if she was telling the truth, she could have the results in her hand but not want to tell me over the phone. That's my biggest fear, that just all already know. I was pretty disapointed but I did only get the biopsy on Friday.
Today I slept until as late as I possibly could in order to minimize alone time before my husband gets home. I hate this waiting so much. I just want to know I'm gonna be ok.
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Hang in there. Less than one more day. You can do this. I'll be checking in for you tomorrow.
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Ok guys im barely breathing here. I called the office this morning to get the results and the nurse said my results were in but then took my phone number and said her manager would call me back with the results. I asked her why and she said she doesnt have the results in her hand right now.
That doesnt make sense why her MANAGER would have to call me back. I'm basically sure I have cancer now. If it was benign, they would just say its benign. I'm still waiting for the call either way but I'm so so so scared. I have an appointment with my doctor to hear the results but I jsut wanted to get this morning to have one less day of stress.
I'm freaking out now.
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They get paid when you show up for an appointment. They don't get paid as much for a phone call. Think of it that way. I thought you had an appointment today anyway? You are in my thoughts all day, so please let us know the results as soon as you can. Don't start another thread without letting us know here!!!
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I do have an appointment today with my breast surgeon but I called the radiology office which is seperate. They say if you dont hear in 3 days to call and I know I should have waited to just see my doctor today but I woke up feeling OK and thinking they could just tell me Im ok and I would still show up for the appointment.
I should have just waited til my appt at 3 because I am now 100% its bad news.
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JPC
I'm saying prayers for you right now!!!!!! Please know that your chances of this being cancer are so slight!!!! I have also found that no matter how skilled the doctor, office staff can be be fools. Do not think that because she didn't give you the results that they are bad. It could be that that one person that you spoke with is only authorized to make appointments, you know what I mean? I hope you come back here soon jumping for joy. We all do! (((hugs))) Janice
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God I hope so. It's been a half hour and no call. I feel stupid for calling at all and not waiting until 3pm. I just figured they would be like "oh yeah its benign" and I could breathe again. Now I'm just staring at the phone. I have no idea whats going on or what to do. This totally sucks. I feel like they just wont call at all and make me go into my doc at 3pm. I just want to KNOW.
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JPC1987
I think everyone of us has been where you are right now, and the not knowing is by far the hardest part. Harder than anything else you will go through. Everyone on this board is hoping that, like barbe said, you will soon be puking with relief. I am praying for you right this second, and I'm sure I am not alone in that. Know that you are not alone, no matter what news you get. And please let us know when you get the call,
Aimee
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I am praying for you right now JPC. Hang on tight. I wish I could strangle those office idiots from afar. If you don't hear anything in the next few minutes, call back. Keep on them till you get an answer.
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They may be afraid you'll cancel the appointment with your surgeon and he'll miss out on the fee! That would mean heads would roll!!! Would you want to be the one who did that? Maybe he LIKES giving the good news??? Ever thought of that? Probably not....sigh. We always go to the darker places, so consider yourself human.
We are anxious for you as well, we hate seeing our membership grow as the fees are so heavy!
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JPC1987, as many women said here, most biopsied lumps are benign and it's a good sign that the radiologists were uncertain about what they were seeing (my radiologist was absolutely certain mine was cancer.) That said, young women do get breast cancer, but even when they do, they get treated and survive. So you are most likely going to be OK, no matter what.
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Again, barbe is right. We like you and all, we just don't want you in our club!
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Thank you guys, they called back and said they arent allowed to give results to patients of surgeons and I am a patient of a surgeon. She said that if I call my surgeon they would give me my results. I started crying on the phone because I just wanna know. She was really sweet and she would call my Dr. and ask them to give me a call. She knew my age and how freaked out I was. She seemed really optimistic I guess. Thank God for her but I feel so so so upset right now. I'm not even really crying just tears streaming.
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Ok so after all that rigamaroll they called back and said that I cannot hear my results over the phone. I start crying and telling them about my anxiety and they offer to let me come in ASAP. I fly to the office with my husband (fearing the absolute worst) and sign in. The nurse takes my vitals (high BP obviously) and I start telling her now nervous I am.
She opens my chart, looks at my results and goes "its not that bad" Ummm ok. This is either benign or malignant there is no middle ground to me. I continue to cry and can tell my husband is getting freaked out.
Finally the Dr. comes in and immediately tells me the results were B9! Holy crap! I about jumped for joy in the room. I asked to hug my doctor I was so thankful for the my results. Turns out it was "Fatty lipoma" tissue or something like that. Not even a fibroadenoma!
When I signed out I told them that they REALLY should just give benign results over the phone. It's not fair to make someone wait all day long and come into the office sobbing just to tell them its totally fine.
Thanking God for his miracles!
Also, you ladies have gotten me through this like none other. I would be a mess without you. The care and compassion from ALL of you was astounding. I will never forget you or this board ever in my life. After reading your guys stories I plan to volunteer for Breast Cancer charities and donate money to the cure.
You ladies inspire me to live life every day to the fullest and I am thankful for the lessons I learned through this.
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JPC1987 -
Praise God!!
I am completely in tears for your good news. You must be on the top of the world. I hope you never, ever have a need to come back to this board again, but if you do (even if it's non-BC related) - you will always be welcomed).
Now go out there and have the best day of your life!!
Aimee
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congrats on the benign news...celebrate with your hubby, dance in the street, sing a song at the top of your lungs...life is good!
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Awesome news!!! I am sooooo happy for you, but sorry you had to go thru that experience. Celebrate! I agree with Letlet, Life is indeed good.
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Thank you so much ladies!
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Hooray!!!!!! I'm so happy for you, kiddo!
Go out this week with your dear hubby and celebrate!!!PS If you gained anything from this brief but real nightmare, let it be that you treasure your loved ones and be thankful for every day. Have a great life!!!!! (((hugs))) Janice
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JPC congrats on the Benign results!!!!
Your words are very kind...Enjoy your summer...and life!! Diane
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Yay!!!! I KNEW it! I'm so happy for you!!!! Good for you for telling them that really they could have made this process easier. I'm so glad that I get to say goodbye to you.
Best wishes for a long, healthy life far from these boards. It makes me feel good that we could help you. People on these boards helped me so much while I was waiting. Best wishes!!
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