A year of many "firsts"

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Ok, so I just need to vent a bit... had a bit of a wierd day. I went out with a good friend today, who is terminally ill with a heart condition and is also on SSDI, to our local food pantries. We did a lot of talking about illness and financial matters, which got me to thinking about all the things my family has experienced since January 29, 2010 that we never imagined we would have to. Forgive me for being such a "list person", but here goes!

Things I did for the first time in the past 18 months:

1. Paid the rent late every month

2. Was not able to pay the full rent

3. Defaulted on all of my credit cards

4. Applied for food stamps

5. Went grocery shopping at the food shelf

6. Pulled my son out of soccer and afterschool classes

7. Almost let my car run out of oil because I couldn't afford to buy more

8.Borrowed money I could not pay back

9. Skipped meals

10. Skipped medication

11. Made excuses when my friends or my kid's friends asked me to do something

12. Pawned jewelry (that was kind of fun, though!)

13. Re-wore dirty clothes

14. Stopped going to PT for my lymphedema

I know I am going to regret posting this once I hit the button, but I do feel a bit better now! Thanks for listening...

One love, Jackie

Comments

  • SpecialK
    SpecialK Member Posts: 16,486
    edited June 2011

    Oh Jackie,  I hate that BC takes so much from us on a physical and emotional level, but to have to deal with those things, plus what you just listed makes me want to cry with you and about you.  It breaks my heart and it just shouldn't be.  I don't know what to say to make you feel better, or if you even need me to say anything, other than I send a hug and my wishes for better days for you and your family.

  • kaitsmom
    kaitsmom Member Posts: 291
    edited June 2011

    Tears in my eyes as I read this, Jackie, though I am sure that was not your intent. Vent away!  I HATE cancer!  And then there is this great health care system in this country - the "greatest nation in the world"- where people skip meals and medications and kids do without and people lose their homes because they are diagnosed with an illness.  God help us all. You and your's will be in my thoughts.

  • jdootoo
    jdootoo Member Posts: 253
    edited June 2011

    SpecialK: Thank you, your reply means more to me than you know... just really need a good cry for my friend and for my family. We have better days coming, DH just started a new job. Sending a big hug back...

    One love, Jackie

  • o2bhealthy
    o2bhealthy Member Posts: 2,101
    edited June 2011

    (((Jackie))) we hear you!  My DH and I are just a few steps away from experiencing many of your firsts...STUPID FRICKEN CANCER

  • jdootoo
    jdootoo Member Posts: 253
    edited June 2011

    It just seems so unfair!! So sorry for you o2bhealthy

    One love, Jackie

  • jdootoo
    jdootoo Member Posts: 253
    edited June 2011

    Thank you Kaitsmom: Can't stop crying myself! Feels so good... been too long...

    One love, Jackie

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