Starting chemo Sept 05

Hi Michelle

It is true what you say, having cancer is a very sobering thought for all of us. All we can do is live each and every day to the fullest.

I have posted a pic on timtams site showing 3 weeks growth on FEC, It amazes me it has kept growing throughout, albeit sparce and white, with bits of black threaded thru.
It actually looks more in real life than in the pic.

I have one more chemo on 7th, after that I will shave my head and wait for the proper hair to come back, i'm hoping for blonde and curly (we can all dream, cant we!!!)

I looked at the pic site, and its a lovely picture of you and your son, just remember, we have email, and phones so you can keep in contact with him constantly, that might make the "being apart" a bit more tolerable.

Take care

Maxine

Hi Sandra.



To get colour

1. click on the colour you would like from the font colour 'palette' e.g. for green it comes up {color:green] [color]

2. Type what you want between the two lots of brackets.... ]in here[ e.g. thank you for your postings, Sandra

3. That message should be green! thank you for your postings, Sandra





Hope it works!

Michelle

Sandra

Sorry to hear you are finding the CMF tougher than the epirubicin, maybe its because your body is already dealing with the effects of the epirubicin and its a cumulative effect.

Michelle

From what I remember, my hair was lightish brown and very straight and thick, I use to add highlights, or colour it constantly, so never really saw the natural colour, apart from the roots!

Take care all

Maxine

Testing - Yippee

Thanks Michelle

Sandra from the UK

Hi All,

Today was my one-month follow up with the radiation oncologist. She reviewed my chart and immediately noticed that I hadn't had a breast exam in the "affected" breast yet. And so she did one. Checked the entire lymph system, two breasts well, one and a half to be more accurate,] lungs and heart. Well the "affected" breast [such a funny term to me] was not comfortable during the exam, but she found NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING!

Again, such a warm appointment. Full of good information exchanges. One interesting idea she had is that I have three doctors who all want to see me every 6 months. She doesn't think seeing all three doctors in one month makes any sense. The next two years, she said, are when I am the most vulnerable for a recurrance, so she wants me to space out the doctor visits so that I am getting checked at regular intervals. So, I won't see her for eight months. I thought this was awfully smart.

After the appointment I headed to a client office, but stopped for lunch. Darn if the car wouldn't move again! Agnes is being temperamental and is now at the hospital. This does reinforce the discussion I had with the Kid last night that she couldn't possibly afford a car, much less this one!

Will try to get a picture this weekend while the Kid is home and post on the bald chick site.

Hope everyone is doing well.

*susan*

HI everyone,

Hey Michelle, how do I get to see all you lovely ladies on the bald site. I don't know how to get there. I have 5 more taxol/herceptins to go. I am on a weekly schedule. The neuropathy is bad. I put my feet in the bathtub then sat down and almost burnt my buns off!!!!!! Thats when I knew my neuropathy was bad. My onc put me on a new med "Nuertonin" -- I hope it helps.

Michelle -- sorry to hear about your friend Maria. Lately I have been real emotional. I cry about everything. I saw an elderly couple that sat in front of me at church and he hugged her tightly. I start bawling at church -- hoping that that someday will be my hubby and me. Then the pregnant lady at the mall -- I start crying -- hoping that someday I will get to see my daughter pregnant. The list goes on and on and on....... The onc said that the steroids are making sappy. I hope so because this is making crazy already. I maybe think my faith is not strong enough and that is why I think so negatively sometimes. Or maybe it normal for us cancer girls I don't know anymore. I just want my 5 weeks to come and go.
How are you? I am still reading the book -- Grace by the hour -- I liked my recent chapter read -- Rescue me. Are you enjoying it?

Sandra ---Hope your thombosis business clears up -- what is the status on that?

Susan -- Glad your MD visit was good. I hope things get back to normal (well as normal as they can anyway) quickly for you. You have been great posting all the time and full of suggestions and encouragement. Your great.

Hope all is good.

Marg

You need to PM timtam and she will give you site addy and password.

Maxine

Hi all

I have been missing in action for awhile now I know! A big thank you to those of you who have PM'd me to see how I am going.

Next week is the
LAST OF CHEMO!!! Yay. One chapter down for me. The taxol has been tolerated really well apart from some tiredness (dreadfully so last infusion) and the odd ache. I am losing my eyebrows and lashes now but the hair on my head is lovely and fuzzy. I cant wait til I have more!

Things not so great on the home front though unfortunately. We may be heading for a separation shortly which is upsetting me alot of course and stressing me out. The kids being so small, pick up on this stress and then the whole house is just crazy. Sometimes I think I spend so much time fighting Scott and fighting to keep this family together I haven't done much fighting of the cancer. I hate feeling as though I haven't used this time to my advantage to heal.

Scott is going away for work next week (day before my last chemo if you can believe) for nearly 2 months so it will just be me and the bubbas to 'celebrate' my last chemo and start my rads. A bit sad about that but what can you do. Then when he gets home he is here for a week then away 4 days per week until Christmas. So basically we will only see each other on the weekends (and even that is a maybe) for the rest of the year. This is supposing we don't separate for good that is. Quite the drama at the moment.

Despite the friction and sadness I am thinking I would like to start working again. Now anyone who knows me knows this is very out of character for me!! haha. I haven't worked for nearly 5 years (Ivf, pregnancy, raising kids, cancer, etc!) I chose to stay home but now I am feeling restless. I only want to work part time but have even forgotten what my abilities are!! Time will tell. It is a bit hard when I still have the herceptin every 3 weeks which takes up 1 child free day so I really only have Thursdays totally free. Just a thought anyway.

I am happy though that my health seems to be holding up and I am getting through treatment. I feel disappointed at things as I mentioned but at least it is nearly over and perhaps I can figure out my new sense of normal everyone says is out there!

love to you all and sorry for the dreary post
xo

Leanne

Quote:

---

but the hair on my head is lovely and fuzzy. I cant wait til I have more!

---

It is exciting seeing the hair come back.Like having a baby! Watching, waiting, seeing what it will be like.....

Sorry to hear that the friction with Scott is continuing. With him gone so much, I imagine it will be hard to work out either way.

It sounds great that you have an interest in working. It could be a great adventure. And don't worry about the unknown: after getting through this battle with cancer, you can do anything!

Hello everyone!

I hope everyone is doing well. I had some news I wanted to share ... I am sitting at work today WIGLESS! I have enough hair that I attempted to color it on Friday. (It was just too gray for my comfort level!) It didn't take as I expeced, but it covered enough for me to go 'topless' to an event Friday night. I haven't put the wig back on since. I've been to kids basketball games, birthday parties, and open-house at my kids school this weekend. It was tough the first few minutes of each event but I had so many compliments and so much support!

One more bit of good news - I get my port taken out on Wednesday! I am feeling really good today - like I am starting to really move on from all of this.

Another thank you to all of you. I don't post as often as others, but I have used this board for information and support more than you know. You are all amazing women.

My last chemo was October 19th. Keep in mind that everyone is different - and yours could be quicker than that!

Congrats on your last chemo!!!

Hi everyone,

Leanne, Too much right now. Don't be in such a hurry to go back to work. Find something that works with your kids schedule and allows you to spend quality time together. Nothing in this world is more important right now. It is too bad that you and your hubby are having trouble. I cant even imagine. I will pray that your heart has peace and that things will work themselves out for both of you.
Hooray for you on your last chemo next week.

Michelle, I read on Leannes post about the person who gave her the money for herceptin. How is that going for you? Do you need it and are you getting it. I worry about you!!!!

Tam sent me the info -- You all look great. I will try and upload some later. I just got back from Houston -- We fly out at 6:00am and fly home at 4:20pm -- all in a days work!!!! 4 more taxols to go. I had to get my PICC line re-sutured since one of the sutures came loose. It was relatively painless procedure after the lidocaine kicked in. My new med seems to be working or maybe it is all in my head. I haven't been as sappy these last day -- except when my 8 year constantly asks if she will get breast cancer too. (my mother is a 7 yr survivor) so like I have said before my girls think that bc is normal and so are masectomys. I just think it sucks (excuse the language) that an 8 yr little girl has to even worry about that.
Anyway......One day at time.

Love to you and I pray for all of us daily

Marg

Leanne, maybe this break with Scott being away will do you both some good. I was thinking that maybe when Scott was doing his fundraising walk and all the media that went with it he felt like he was helping you and fighting the battle with you.

Where as now all he and any of our loved ones can do is be there when we need them. It makes them feel useless and this is showing as frustration and fighting. This is essentially your battle and as much as he loves you and wants to help there really isn't that much he can do. Being in the army they are trained to take charge of a situation face it head on, deal with it and get on with the Job. Unfortunatley our battle doesn't play by those rules, it drags on (for up to 12mths)and takes emotional and physical tolls. Maybe if you see your breast care nurse she might be able to put both you and Scott in touch with a counciler.(sp)Tell me to mind my own business if you like but that is just what I was thinking. Hope all goes well for you.

I do have some good news..

Last night I had to

WASH MY HAIR!!!

WITH REAL SHAMPOO!!!

can you believe it. I know I was hardly able to believe it myself.

I have always had pretty oily hair and had been washing my head with soap since the hair went. Well last night I washed it with soap and it still felt oily so I used Shampoo and TA DA! baby soft 1/4 inch hair.

hope you all pass a positive mile stone soon and share them with us. Remember when we thought this would never end.

Well we are not there yet but we can see it from here...

best wishes
Nicole

This treatment seems like it goes on for ever although

Maxine you were spot on – the Dr told me exactly what you did and she said the hot flushes would be from the effect of treatment on the ovaries. Did you go for treatment this week Maxine? I did, feel OKish but I am up again posting here at 1.10 pm UK time – sooooo hot.

Susan/Nicole – NOTHING – a wonderful word for you (and hopefully all of us) to hear. Hope Agnes soon recovers Susan;-) Nicole – REAL SHAMPOO – WOW – can’t wait. I am with you on your frustration – I have two manky arms and I find it very frustrating having to ask for help with things.

Peg, lovely to hear from you sounding as positive as ever. Are you saying I could still lose my eyelashes Peg?? I lost most (not all) of my of my eyebrows but my eyelashes have stayed put to-date. My dog is now up to short walks following his op – might be good for me also to get out and about walking again – seem to use my car far too much these days.

Marg, thank you for asking. Thrombosis blood checks still continue to fluctuate between being too thick as can cause clot again and too thin where I could bleed, bleed and bleed – they say whilst I am on ‘treatment’ it is difficult to regulate – so almost weekly hospital visits for checks – hopefully after 7 March it will regulate (one can hope). How is the 1 – 10 going – hope you have gone over 4? By the way I consider you very normal with your thoughts and crying episodes – I think as time passes we will learn to put these thoughts to one side and live our life. I am in for procedure on 9 Feb to check out this enlarged womb business – I do feel it is just a woman’s thing and my age, nothing connected to ‘the condition’ – might as well get everything over and done with at the same time ;-).

Leanne I am sorry to hear about your family problems – I do hope you can sort it out as things were sooooo good between you and Scott just a short while ago and I guess this is one of the toughest things you are going to have to go through together – thoughts to you all. Do try and find YOU time though Leanne. Go for the work thing (if you really want to) – perhaps you could ease into working through volunteer work to start with to build your confidence and skills? It will be something extra to add to your CV (Curriculum Vitae). I go with Nicole’s advice.

Wig burning party – now there’s a thought. I saw a lady at the hospital today and she was wearing a wig, but she said losing her hair was ‘no big deal’ as she had been wearing one for 17 years – she said people keep looking at her wondering why she isn’t losing her hair during ‘treatment’. She had that skin complaint (name just escapes) me during her 2nd pregnancy.

Nicole I only said today this is such a looooong journey – but we are all now seeing light at the end of the tunnel – yeahhh!

Speak soon.

Sandra from the UK