Starting Chemo April 2009

Happy Birthday, Lena. You have no expiration date so I am wishing you many, many more happy birthdays

Happy Birthday, Lena. I am going to a party tomorrow and have to bring a dessert so I am making a CHEESECAKE in honor of you! I will think of you as I eat my slice!!

Hi, everyone!  Lena, so good to see you back on the boards and glad you are recovering from the BMX and all of the after-surgery "stuff".  I had rads in May-June of 2009 after the chemo, and after the horrors I suffered with chemo and all of the side effects for the side effects, rads was a walk in the park!  I was vigilant with my skin, keeping it well moisturized with everything they recommended and it held up really well, just got very dark at the end, which faded eventually.  I did notice a bit of fatigue, again, towards the end (I had 33 tx, one daily - to the breast, and lymph area where they did the sentinel node biopsy).  the fatigue wasn't too bad, I was just a bit more tired in the afternoon (I had mine at around 4 pm each day, so I could work and then get zapped and head home to rest).

Happy summer to everyone - hope you are all doing well.  Had my mammo/ultrasound and all is clear, and a follow up with bs gave me an all clear for the next 6 months.  Follow up with onc next month and seem to be doing okay with the tamox, but I know she is going to want to put me on an AI soon and I will not do it.  either I will stay on tamox or go without, but I tried every AI and for me, they were terrible.  The pain and fatigue were just like with the Neulasta (I saw a few comments a few pages back about that) and I felt like I was a cranky 80 year old instead of a cranky 48 year old. 

I also get some post-traumatic flashbacks, especially from chemo time, if I smell a certain smell, or eat something I could only eat during chemo.  and, I gave away all of the tops I wore post surgery, too traumatic to have them.  And of course, i still have minor freak outs about weird pains, symptoms, etc.

Been busy traveling for work - any of you on FB see my frequent conference updates. Just came back from Naples, FL - 5 day conference that actually allowed for half day sessions, so we could lounge by the pool.  I brought my husband and we made a little vacay out of it - it was heaven, relaxing by the pool, actually sitting motionless or floating when it got too hot (90+ in Naples this time of year).  Before that was Boston, which would have been nice, except I was recovering from that flu/upper respiratory/eye infection/incredible body aches thing going around and it was cold and rainy during my trip.  anyone who has rain, please send it down to my area of South Florida - we are in an "exceptional" drought and praying for rain before our beautiful lawn/trees/flowers go away.

Wishing everyone a great weekend - we're not doing much, still kind of in that vacation state of mind.

Michele

Chelev - good to hear from you! I totally get the post traumatic flashbacks - especially with smells and food. Some days it is worse than others, but still definitely a big part of my life. Sounds like you and your husband had a good break.

Lena - I enjoy your posts, they always give me something to think about. You know, I have no idea if I would walk down the street with no top on, even though I don't have breasts. I am not sure I would have done before - but definitely something to think about.
I am feeling very tired at the moment, a lot of stressful stuff going on with the move, but on the whole I am doing ok.

Titan - it has been a while, I hope everything is ok with you.

Hugs to one and all, Judy x

Wow, Helen, no, I never heard of the micro fat grafting to make new breasts. Too late for me now on that one though -- I lost all my excess weight so there's nothing left to make breasts out of anymore...not even if I eat a slice of cheesecake (with a chocolate rat cookie) each and every day for the rest of this week. Which I'm going to be doing.

Ohhhhhhh Did I just say CHEESECAKE?????????

OMG YUMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!! My Pack Rat came over with the birthday cheesecake last night, which had a surprise trim of chocolate cookie rats surrounding the cheesecake on the platter. They had almonds for ears, twizzie stick pieces for tails and so on: totally edible but so cute I felt bad about eating them, but can't help it, they smelled so good so I ate one, it tasted as good as it smelled and looked, so now I'll have to eat all of 'em.  And since I so rarely WANT to eat chocolate, you know THESE are GOOOOOOD!

The cheesecake was totally TO DIE FOR!!!!!!!!! My Pack Rat was shocked while I ate it, he said I sounded like I get when I'm sexually aroused and was seriously wondering if cheesecake was an aphrodisiac! Yeah he actually asked me if cheesecake made me horny! LOL It doesn't, but the last time I had cheesecake THIS GOOD was a number of years ago on one of my very rare "fancy restaurant" dining out occasions...some Italian place, I don't even remember the name of it. But THIS cheesecake was EQUALLY WONDERFUL as the fancy expensive restaurant's. I knew she was a good baker (my Pack Rat's cousin's wife), but I never had her cheesecake; I don't even know if she's ever even MADE cheesecake before, but it wouldn't surprise me if this was her first one. The woman is a freakin' FOOD WHIZ, for both cooking regular meals and baking all kinds of desserts. I've had various of her cookies, plus pie, brownies, carrot cake, "orangies," banana bread and fresh baked bread too. So what happened was my Pack Rat asked her what went into a cheesecake, she told him, he bought it all and she turned it into a cheesecake and came up with the little rat cookie idea herself.  So last night we each had a slice of cheesecake (mine was bigger LOL) and a chocolate rat cookie, and I am going to RELISH a slice of that cheesecake and a chocolate rat cookie EVERY SINGLE DAY THIS WEEK!!

Oh, and he also gave me a 750 GB portable HD, too. OMG. Not only will I be able to carry the content of ALL my computers around with me to access on the iBook, I'll be able to use those 250 GB drives I'd bought for the Quicksilver for the Music Project (digitizing my whole music collection of records and tapes to MP3s.). 

Pasteurella's is almost ready to be painted (just one more round of caulk and some sanding), too, plus, of course, the decorative stuff.

I think it was the wine but something made me "brave" enough to show the Frankenstein Chest to my Pack Rat after doing my evening round of PT exercises, which I showed him prior to taking my shirt off and showing him the Chest. It shocked the crap out of him -- he said he'd pretty much known what to expect, only mine was much BETTER than he expected to see!  :-O OMG. He said the surgeon did such an extra fabulous job I ought to profusely compliment her -- a FEW times, not just once.Then he also complimented ME on having such a sleek and streamlined body. He actually still thinks I'm sexy to LOOK at! :-O And now that my shirt was off, he stripped me the rest of the way naked with his TEETH! (yeah, he did). No time to turn off the light, so this was the first time we did it with the light on in what, almost two years?! He even says I look UNIQUE now and he thinks my body is in better shape now than it was when he met me! So okay, I actually got inspired to do something I was originally thinking that post-BMX I probably wouldn't ever want to do again, even in the dark: jump his bones and ravish him.

Oh....and that business I had for my first two weeks after surgery with that difficulty opening my mouth/painful clicking jaw -- not only is it all gone now, it passed the final test. See, I didn't eat JUST cheesecake and a chocolate rat cookie for dessert last night.....  ;-) 

 (well hey, he made me explode a FEW times, so I say he DESERVED to be eaten alive, raped and pillaged! LOL) 

OK, I got some Sims modding stuff to do.....catch you next time.... 

I'm probably going to need a nap later.......... 

Lena - I'm just speechless .  You often have that effect on me after reading one of your posts...lol.  I saw the movie Bridesmaid on Saturday, which was really funny, but also way more explicit than I expected, and guess who I thought of while watching it - - none other than our Lena and her Pack Rat!

Everyone have a good week

Geri 

Hi Everyone!  I'm here and I'm fine..glad you guys are too!  Actually LMAO at Lena's posts of her and  Mr PR...maybe I should have my DH read some of these posts..ha ha..if he only knew!

Been way to busy..but shouldn't have stayed away this long..with weddings going on (we have like 5 in 4 months), wedding plannings, working (when i can fit it in)..plus my son transferring to OSU this fall..we have been busy...

Sorry I haven't posted but I think of you guys all the time...hope everyone is doing well....you all seem to be...good to see.

Good to hear from you Titan, and glad you are so busy with "good stuff"

Lena - I saw a commercial on cable tv tonight for "Pack Rat Storage Bins" - made me smile

Hope everyone is having a good week!

Geri

Oh Betsy I'm sorry the le has flamed up again. It does suck. Sounds like life is stressful for you right now and I agree this new normal isn't fun. I hope you feel better soon

Betsy - so sorry to hear that you are having a hard time at the moment, it always seems to come at once doesn't it? I hope you feel better soon and that you get some sunshine in Oregon too! In the meantime, I am sending you (((((Hugs))))). I also hope that work doesn't become too much for you either.

Amy - glad you had a good trip, I love NY - very busy and noisy, but I just love it. Not sure I could live there though. Hope you are resting up from your trip.

We are very busy here with the sorting and packing which takes both a physical and emotional toll on me and last night I had a particularly bad night, very restless, it was like every time I thought about something I needed to do, I woke up! Hope tonight will be better.

Hope everyone is having a good week, take care, Judy x

Lena - good to hear that you are recovering at a normal rate. I found the PT really helpful after my BMX.

Hope everyone has a good weekend and is doing ok. Sending you all hugs, Judy x

Speaking of "the house is chaos"....Amy and Judy -- I'm not moving now, and the only painting soon to happen here is on the porch, so there won't be much disarray from that at all, BUT --

Remember when I mentioned that during the week preceding my BMX I moved a lot of my stuff (core canned and dry foods; pots and pans) out of cabinets and on to the kitchen table so I'd be able to get at it before my ROM recovered?  Well herein lies a tale...

Yesterday I lost my mind looking for an orange (purchased on Tuesday, at one of the med center's little food places) I still can't find. Do NOT ask why or how it ever ended up upstairs, but it did, and I kept meaning to bring it down and put in the fruit bowl on the kitchen table, but have totally NO recollection of having done so.  I DISTINCTLY recall picking it up "on my way downstairs" but never making it downstairs, putting it down again on my bedroom dresser, the bathroom windowsill -- and forgetting about it when I actually did go downstairs. On my way home from the radiation oncologist yesterday I stopped at the little store to buy some more fresh fruit (including oranges) and salad veggies, and when I got home  -- after 2-something PM since I also had to go to the library to make copies of my thrombophilia panel from last year; onc and I discussed it Weds and I said I'd send it: 3 copies -- one for her, one for the hematologist I'm supposed to see in August, and one for my PCP -- I was totally famished, and decided to make a fresh fruit salad. Immediately I though of "that" orange which I "knew" was "upstairs somewhere." So I go upstairs to get it; I want to eat "that" orange first, and I always include an orange in my fruit salad.

Not only did I NOT find the orange in ANY of the places I remember having had it, but I couldn't find it anywhere else in the whole friggin' HOUSE!!!!!!!!! GRRRRR!!!! After half an hour or so searching and repeatedly searching not only just the places I remembered having it, I also looked in "stupid" places cause I must have obviously done something stupid with it! Now yes, this place is bigger than my old place was, but it's not REALLY big either!  I could NOT find it no matter where and how many friggin' times I looked, and right now I'm getting almost as mad telling this story as I did yesterday afternoon while it was happening. Well, once I got pissed to the point where I was hurling all kinds of profane self-abusive verbiage at myself -- I mean for crying out loud it's 2 goddamn YEARS PFC and I'm off the AIs for almost 2 months, what's my frickin excuse NOW except REALLY being a total fucking idiot!! What is this crap is this already?! -- and physically throwing things I gave up and used one of the new oranges to make the fruit salad. 

Not only is this orange STILL missing  (GRRRRRRRRRR! >:-{ ), later on -- dinner time, I had another problem -- I couldn't find the vinegar to put on my green salad! No, I didn't take this upstairs -- hahaha, and I did find it -- after 10 minutes, of looking on that goddamn overloaded impossible to organize chaos on the kitchen table I haven't been able to eat on in what is now almost a month. And I realize how much that's been driving me crazy the past week or so -- that, and I can't REALLY clean the kitchen unless I get all that stuff on the table put away, and the kitchen now REALLY HAS TO be cleaned totally not JUST for aesthetics/basic sanitary reasons/not letting it degenerate to the point I won't be physically able to do it, but also so I can set the ant traps I bought 2 weeks ago!

AAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well that's it, I don't frickin care anymore -- the chaos has to STOP NOW. I gotta eat lunch first, but today I'm going to put all that stuff on the table back in the cabinets and if I can't reach some of it, I'll get more exercise by dragging a chair over to stand on.

I hope that orange turns up before there's a trail of fruit flies to help me find it......

:-{ 

Hey Lena, losing the orange sounds like something i would do. It is so frustrating. I don't know whether it's old age, chemotherapy brain or just stupidity but this happens to me frequently



Judy, it's such a big move you are making. I have the same questions as Amy. I do hope the move won't be too stressful for you and the family

You guys are busy...Judy..I know that you are going back to Israel..I just wish we could have met you in person..I know we can talk here just as well but dang..

Ha ha Lena..that I have a life...I guess I am busy with the daughter's wedding, working , having my son home for the summer...etc, etc...there just don't seem to be enough hours in a day to get things done and still have time for ME...and that is when I can come on here..the ME time.

Oh Betsy..the wedding is Oct 1...and the invitation is still open to anyone that feels like coming to Ohio....we have a block of hotel rooms reserved....you can party with the kids late at night if you want to..ha ha.

Hi everyone, I am sorry that I have not been by, I am really busy packing up and we have the shippers coming tomorrow and then we move out on Friday. Thank you for all of your interest, we are all finding it very stressful and the kids have mixed feelings. My youngest son (9), is very sad because he only really remembers being here. I think it is going to be hard for all of us.

We are looking for a new place to live at the moment, which is not so easy from this distance, but we have friends looking too.

So, I hope to be able to come by from time to time over the next few weeks.

Sending you all hugs and thanks for your support! At least I don't have to say "goodbye" to you all, because I can come and talk to you anytime !

Have a great day, Judy x