DIEP 2011

Carolyn, that is exactly what I was trying to say.  My DH would not touch my mastectomy side for anything in the world and therefore ignores my other breast to keep him from feeling uncomfortable.  I will be very curious to see how he acts after my surgery. 

Alexan, enjoy your weekend.  I hope you have a blast!  I will be checking on you next week!

Susan

WOOHOO!!!!  How exciting.  I can't wait!

Susan

c8ndygr1: My breast looks and feel so supple eventhough it is new and have the scarring. My breast is not hard and is only swollen at the top above the scar line.

They jiggle, they bounce, they move, they're warm - mine just have a few "dents" and no nipples at the moment.  But, that will be fixed starting July 11th.  It took about a month before the swelling went down in both my abdomen and breasts.  But, they starting looking like they were going to look at that point.  (I also started seeing where the tweaks needed to be made).

I had immediate so my scars are circles right in the middle.  There are no scars anywhere else on my breasts except my leftover lumpectomy scar from 7 years ago.

ladym: the scar is an oval shape just below the top. from wearing my tank tops now, I can see that I will be able to wear low cut tops without the scar showing.

Kathy, I think your husband probably perked up because when he sees you looking like yourself, he thinks you feel like yourself and that makes him happy and relieved.  I don't know him of course, but that seems like a good possibility to me if he was scared and overwhelmed with your dx and all you have been through.  Men don't like to feel helpless.  They want to fix things and he didn't know how to fix any of this.

My PS says I will have lollipop or keyhole scars on my breasts, like the ones for breast reductions, a line running down from the areola. I do have a lumpectomy scar above that I hope he can fix somehow.

My DH being a man, I don't think a few scars will put him off sex forever. If he doesn't like my scars, he can close his eyes. LOL

My new boobs....leaving the hospital I said omg my boobs are jiggling...felt great!!!

Last night while n the kitchen I bent over to pick up something and I looked and said to DH and DD OMG look when I bend over you can see my new boobs lol

Shhh I'm at work and looking on BC.O

The icky spot, when  looked at it last night at 10 it was scabbed over and not draining any more. I checked again this am ad scabbed and dry so I called them at Rochester and told them I wouldn't be making the trip today and that I'd keep an eye on it. I can say that as far as healing my body does an amazing job and repairing, always has. Have any of you heard that fresh pineapple is good for healing. I ate 2 the week before surgery and now 1 a week after. Yes I eat the whole thing myself LOL.

wow--just got back from my pre op appt & interesting conversation going on here!!  my dh has been averting his eyes since my mx, and ....   it hurts.  so this upcoming surgery is really important to me.  so hoping when i look more normal, things will get back to normal.  he lost his previous wife & this whole bc thing has him scared.

now the frustrating news is, they informed me at my appt the surgery date is being changed-again!!  not sure when it will be now, as they are trying to get room times.  part of this is my fault for pushing for a date because of the wedding next month, so they did give me a date the surgeons were available, but  there is a conflict with the hospital schedule.  grrrrrrr

must say, it is so encouraging to hear how well you all are doing after surgery.  really helping to put my fears to rest.

Can't remember where I read this but someone posted that DIEP is like taking out old stuffing and putting in new. I like that and that's what I'm using to explain my breast reconstruction. Uninformed people think mastectomy is like a guillotine and have never heard of reconstruction.They don't realize women can still have real live breasts again after mastectomy.

I am so happy we have this DIEP microsurgery option. I'm thrilled to exchange my old BC 'stuffing' for new. And getting a tummy tuck as a bonus.

Ooops, Sue, I forgot to ask.  How did you do at work?  Are you exhausted?  I bought a pineapple this weekend thinking about you and have eaten it every day.  If I can get through this as well as you I will eat a pineapple a week for the rest of my life!

Susan

I think fresh pineapple supplies bromelain - I have saved the peels and rubbed the cut side on scars for accelerated healing - I wouldn't do it until things are well under way though - probably would sting and not sure about infection risk, but definitely eating it is great. I think papaya also supplies bromelain.

During our 34 years of marriage, we have been through just about everything and have had LONG periods where our sex life was in stall mode! There is a weird cycle where each person feels unacceptable and/or rejected and everything keeps reinforcing the disconnect; the pain is so difficult to deal with and when you are in the middle, it is so hard to find the way out! I am on kind of a campaign to tell the truth about what it means to be fully human; the pretense hurts all of us. People hurt & screw up & disappoint - that is just the way it is. Some people out there have marriages that never hit the low points but that isn't my story, never has been. Things are mostly great but every so often, things go off the rails! I'm kind of a slow learner!

Alexanjb: Your DH's dysfunction might be related to childhood trauma and his guilt & shame might be overwhelming him. What bugs me is that I am the one who looks for ways to make things better and my DH is more likely to give up. Don't get me started on that issue!

I have my eye on a vibrator that Dr. Laura Berman says is the ultimate -- oops, there I go again. I bet there are some great threads on sex and BC - maybe I should start one and quit hijacking this thread with TMI stuff! I don't intend to offend anyone, but sex is a normal part of who we are.

Susan, that is what you get for reading this forum at work! Better your monitor than your paperwork . . .just be glad I deleted a lot before I posted! Ha ha . . too bad we can't all get together . . . that would be a FUN event!

Carberry - yes, great exercise!

C8ndygrl1: Taking control is a great aphrodisiac for both partners but you have to be sure not to look for ways to be hurt - it can be a vicious cycle like I said above; I've seen myself do that over & over and I should know better; old patterns are hard to break.You have to find ways to take the pressure off both of you. I like wearing stuff that covers up a bit; I feel more sexy that way. You have to be comfortable and somewhat fearless & thick skinned to get through some of the stuck places and if your partner is too deep into their s**t, it isn't easy. Sometimes it is just too much on top of everything else - to taking a break until the energy is there is the way to go.

Grdnslve: So sorry to hear about another delay in your surgery! Is it going to be after the wedding or you don't know yet? It was frustrating to me to have to wait so long; I am still waiting to hear about a cancellation so I can move up my stage 2 surgery. 

 . . . sorry, I type the way I talk and I can type pretty fast; not necessarily a good thing! Thank goodness I go back to school in the fall . . . way too much time on my hands!

Notafraid...OMG...hahahah, I was JUST about to write that...too funny.

I think this is the best, most hilarious and open thread on here...love it.

Thanks for the insight Treesprite, hopefully you are right and the situation will resolve itself.  In the meantime..........I wouldn't mind a rec on the toys either!  Guess I can google Dr. Laura Berman...AND unless someone complains I don't see why you need to start another thread, we are a good/fun/supportive group and its not like we get off topic ALL the time more like a segue (or two).

supposedly the aphrodite model is a sure thing and her web store is a safe place to shop; my DH says go for it, but it is pricey . . . or maybe priceless? 

It took me being fearless to move things forward with my DH - challenging, but worth it and not a quick resolution. Life is much lighter these days, no elephant (or lack of one??) lurking in the room . . . ha ha . . . He has a day off during the week and we have a standing date, no matter what! It was crazy at first all the ways each of us tried to sabotage things to avoid feeling rejected. Setbacks happen. A lot of it has been my persistence and refusal to accept the status quo.