Meltdown Anyone?

One can only "balance" so much in life.  I have found that I'm usually fine until my emotions get tweaked...then I'm a mess.  Getting irrational over something that seems insignificant tells it all, and it's a very find line. 

OMG!!! I know what you're saying and can identify with how you are feeling. I handled diagnosis, lumpectomy, path report of TNBC, even being BRCA 2 positive, BMX, total hysterectomy, chemo - all fine. My husband drove me home from oncologist appt and stopped at our post office box to check mail and I just went into hysterics. He didn't know what happened and neither do I really.

I'm now planning to attend ballet classes for adult beginners, yoga, and a support group. I'm scheduled to begin my second round of chemo and I think I need support from others who are actually going through this ordeal.

You are not alone.

OH Yeah..............been there & know exactly what you are saying.  Got through the biospy, the mastectomy, the chemo & losing my hair.  Now I am 25 wks out from the chemo but still on Herceptin, hair started growing, then magically after a couple of months on Arimadex my hair has stopped growing.  I don't mean slow, I mean stopped. I lived by my fingernails to get through the "rough stuff" so my hair would grow.  My meltdowns (I've had two recently) is not only the tears but the anger scares even myself.  I agree.........all of us have a tolerance level......and we should NOT beat ourselves up when we just can't stand any more.  I can hardly wait for onco doc appt next Thurs.  Even the "troupes" are going with me (meaning Hubby & daughter/nurse). 

 As for commercials, I can't stand cute, young, long haired, nice boobs staring back at me on the television!!!  I'm right there with you and everyone else that has spoke up.  I hate this BC to the point I don't want to be identified by it........I am still me, I just look a little different.

GmaFoley..........

You didn't say how old your grandson was or what your surgery consisted of or how new the surgery is, but I have a 6y/o who is the love of my life and the only reason I agreed to do some of this mess.  He knew from the time before surgery and even showed him a little bit of the incision (he is all into medical stuff and his mother is a nurse). 

I am not saying you need or should do the same thing, but as he is approaching you for one of those wonderful hugs, try to redirect him if possible.  If not possible, I don't have any magical suggestion except to focus on the hug & be thankful you are here to receive it. 

GmaFoley......

Hang in there.  Good luck with your Rads next week.  This BC and the treatments are a roller-coaster ride.  Let us know if we can help with any meltdowns you may incur along the way.

I would have loved to have your Oncotype Score as mine was 100.  Now the percent was 34.7.  You will do just fine, stay in prayer, stay focus on that sweet grandson and hang on !!

Norma Jean

dlb823.........

Put a smile on your pretty face and you will be surprised at how many people will smile back and sometimes even compliment you.  I went "topless" the whole time.  It was where I was in my life & I decided not to hide from it.  I am stubborn.  Now I look funny to family & friends with some hair on my head much less one of many wigs I bought.

Hang in there.  If people stare or give you the sympathy look put that BIG smile on !!  Have fun and congratulations.

I trhink there's a blank time after you first get bad news when you are so stunned and just carry on autopilot doing what neds to be done, then one day BAM you hear and understand, and fall apart. Or your brain understands and copes with the facts but then ages later the news gets to your emotional centre. I crumbled my first anniversary of surgery.

I see it like stubbing your toe, your brain knows you have hit it hard but you feel nothing, just numb, then a few seconds later AAAAARRRGH!

Otra-vez: You had six-weeks' food in the house, you are prepared for most emergencies! And hey, now you have cleared out the old stock! It used to be called, look on the bright side, I now heard of it as benefit finding: I WILL find some good out of this mess! You inspired me to check out what's lurking at the back of my freeezer although I don't think i could manage six weeks without going shopping, I would get withdrawal.

Well ladies... I had a crying version of meltdown while doing the dry-run yesterday... Today I will go in with allot of questions BEFORE I let them zap me for the second time!.... I think the anxiety came from not knowing if I took a deep breath (heavy sigh) if that would hurt where the rays were headed.... In thinking about that while they were doing everything I panicked and told them I was freaking out... they came in a described what they were doing but I should of asked then if my panicked breathing was hurting the set up..... I try again in a few hours with questions in hand... My breast was warm last night and it was only the first rad...

Maybe bring in a beanie baby in to hold next to my hands? 

Hi, Debbie:

Yes, I'll take one; thank you.

I am going tomorrow for yet another ultrasound of stupid ovarian cysts and will have the CA125 test done.  Last year was all about bc, bmx, then getting lovely lymphedema.  Three months ago I started having abdominal pain, back pain, and all the fun stuff that goes with cysts.  Now it looks like best case scenario is going to be surgery to remove them, and I hope that's all that's down there...

I am so sick of being a medical PATIENT, of having people tell me they're praying for me (not that I don't appreciate the prayer - I do.) and feeling sorry for me, and telling me how good I look, like they're surprised.  I'm sick of not feeling good, being tired, being in pain, not having boobs, having a fat, swelled up arm...I'm just sick of the whole thing.

On the other hand, I went home and ate an icecream cone for lunch, so meltdowns ain't always a bad thing. 

Hang in there Debbie, Hymil, and all my pals - I thank God for this place...you guys keep me sane.

You burned a casserole? Sounds like my cooking all the time.    I know how you feel.  I was suicidal over this mess, called a hotline after lining up all my meds, and was talked out of it when the lady at the other ende managed to set me up with a counselor who deals in breast cancer.  The operator said NO to the almost attempt, and to wait at least until I give the counselor a chance.  I did.  That was one heck of a meltdown.  Don't worry about the casserole next time, there are plenty of good take out places for you to choose from.  It is only normal to fall apart out of no - where.

Hi Everyone !!!  It appears the meltdowns have eased up since no postings in over a week.  Things are calm & peaceful here.  "Babysat" my daughters two dogs while she & grandson when to SA for Sea World.  They had a great time while I trying not to trip over four dogs in the house (my two plus her two) !! 

Just stopped by to see how everyone is doing.  Wishing y'all have a great and safe holiday weekend. 

I'm feeling so emotionally "full," but I can't seem to cry. It gets stuck in my throat. I'm so fed up with bc "controlling" my every move, thought, feeling. I just had a crazy episode of cry-talking where I'm talking and half crying. This has to stop. I hate you bc and hate is too strong an emotion to waste on you! Ugggghhh!

Thanks GmaFoley...