Chemo June 2010

gin2-  I think God put Julia on this earth to keep us all laughing....and she certainly does!

Joan-  We just had this discussion in my homeschool mom's group.  I have a son, not daughter, but was a daughter growing up in the wild 60's.  My advice to my mom friends was that the thing that  would have made the biggest impact in my wild ways, would have been a conversation from my father;  not a lecture, but a heart to heart telling me that I should value my worth and hold out for a man as exceptional as I was (in my father's eyes).  When I was young and impressionable, it seemed any handsome rock and roller who paid attention to me was "enough".  I didn't even consider that I should evaluate them or wait for something better or more appropriate. It took many rocky relationships and chips at my heart before I finally found the love of my life. I do think that fathers need to get very involved with their daughters at this age.

TEE HEE !  I'll sit in the corner and drink champagne and let my husband do all the talking !  Love it !

Seriously, if my father had spoken to me about my value I think I would have held out for the right man too.  Rather than taking whatever came along when I was dating.  Happily I married a great guy.  But, I dated many a loser along the way !

It's a holiday today.  Queen Victoria's Birthday.  Just happens to be my 60th today too.  I love it when they set off the fireworks and cannons.  hehe, I pretend it is for me. I wasn't looking forward to being so old, but then last year at this time we wondered if we would celebrate another birthday...  Let the cake and icecream begin!  I hope I get pearls.

Mimi-  I think I can see those fireworks down here in NYC!!  I can't tolerate anyone who is whining about "getting old".  I have lost too many dear friends who would have given anything to stay here one more day.  Bring on every one of those years!  May you and Queen Vicky celebrate many healthy, happy returns!

omgosh, i have tears running down my checks Joan, then I'm laughing,then im praying for good scan, then im OH my'ing, beings i have a young daughter and not ready for her to ever date, then im HAPPY BIRTHDAYING TO TO MIMItee he he, lol  I'm warn out!!!  Joan, good for you!!! im proud, we had one this weekend but i couldn't not bring myself to go, I'm ready for June though, i guess it was just to soon for me.. I think its a very big step!!! so proud of you!!!

all is great with check ups, had my 6 months,wow!! 6 months,hehehehehe, my surgery is set for the second week in June, yeppernoodles!!!! I'm a bit excited i have to go to work now YUK, lol 

love you all, oh yeah, i put extension's in my hair for length. I'm starting to feel and look like my self again, slowly but i am

Chey

gin2ca, thank you,but i think im looking better then i feel, im still so scared, but it gets better everyday, im so mad about our Lobular cancer, how it is not picked up on mammos!!! and no one ever told us that!!! we are taught to feel for that small hard round lump, im starting to talk!! and let women know, some of them are just shocked, they have no idea about ILC. im so glad your doing good,

Hi Ladies,

Just caught up on a month's worth of posts.  Chey, what a difference a year makes, you sound SO strong, I'm sorry for all the bad stuff you're dealing with.  Thanks for all the congrats on the b9 biopsy results.  I keep trying to put cancer behind me, but it keeps sucking me back in.  Got a call from the Onc 2 days after the biopsy, creatinine level is high on my labs, she says have labs repeated at PCP.  After much confusion between onc office and PCP office finally get 2nd set of lab results over the phone Tuesday, 'all looks good', ask for labs to be mailed to me.  Got the hard copy of the labs yesterday, creatinine still high, WTF!!!  Did my PCP even look at these results??  If I hadn't asked for hard copy I wouldn't even know!  So, will be calling PCP today and no doubt I'll have to actually go see her since it doesn't seem she's ever available to talk on the phone.  Pissed off and scared, I'm more afraid of kidney disease than of cancer!  Wish me luck!

Julia 

Hey my loves,

my sisters husband needs a Liver transplant!  hmmmm, my sister was amazing for me last year, things are good and she does not worry about me now,she is living her life and then this!!! im so heart broken, so much pain and hurt!! i don't understand, my grandma,my mom,me, my lil boys best bud,cancer,his other Buddy's daddy dies my close friend,, now Uncle Rick, he has been a cop for thirty years, he is 50, he is not on a list yet, he was a drinker, not heavy,but every nite for 20 years. it took its toll, he is a decorated,peace officer, the so called DR said he has to not drink for 6 months, he stopped drinking almost a year ago, they said no, 6 months from DX that was Jan, ive been sitting here for 3 weeks waiting and im thinking, no no, something can be done, or at least try..So i made some calls, i need to take over for my sister!! step up, its my turn.UCSF said, he has to be referred, i said his DR wont refer for another 2 months, she said nooo, it is up to us, the transplant clinic, not his DR, we make the decision whether he can be on the list, i said he never old us that, i said what do i do? i said i understand high risk drinkers, and not put to waste a liver, but this is not him, he deserves to be looked at, she agreed, i called my sis and said im taking over, she said, "ok" in a warn out little voice. those two are two peas in a pod!... im demanding an appt with his Dr in Sacto, im going to tell him i want Rick referred right now, here is the paper work, we are not waiting, if you don't,i will find a DR that will, I said its up to UCSF i spoke to them.. They make the call, not you!! I also called Ricks best friend, a deputy sheriff as well, and said i need you to get reference from the Big Sheriff, from the judges, the people he put away for child abuse, the family's he worked with, the bum on the streets that rick always brang food when he was on patrol, people that knew him, He has been a decorated deputy, a few times over.  His part in The Good Guys gang take over in Sacramento, years ago, a vietnmies gang walked in and held everyone hostage, it is a big electronics place, like Best Buy, all 6 gang members lost their lives, i think a 16 year old lived, and a few customers were killed,it was sad, and went on over a day and night, i remember me and mom and cindy were watching it live, Rick would call and let us know he was ok a few times, then he said he was going in, and we watched he came in from the roof with the swat.. anyway. he went from the jail,to patrol,to K9 unit, and the last  years or so, detective in child abuse., he worked South Sacto, Florin road, gang town, bad area.. he does judging for all the K9 dog trails.. he does not deserve this, but, i know he did drink..i think his is worth getting on that list, or at least being refereed, and UCSF can make that call... So im gonna walk in armed with all the references,

if this Dr still wants to play, i will find another to refer him. then the transplant place can take over, ill bring him back east if i have to.. people need to know that we do have choices, that dr did not tell us, he just said he has to wait, its sad we have to be our own advocates.. he does not have to wait! i made the phone calls, the transplant place at UCSF were very kind, she said i see where your coming from, do what u have to do, but i cant take him without the referral , she sent me the form, email it just needs the DR signature stating his liver is bab, i mean really? im sorry, i just feel my sis and i have been hit hard! she needs a break.. So i have my big girl pants on, if they fall ill just pull them up! lol i wanna be there for my sister like she was for me!!! i wanna take care of things so she can enjoy her husband in case something happens.. im gonna get them through this!!The bitch is back!!! hehe, if any of you girls know of a online support group for liver transplants, please let me know, i want her to be blessed with what i got from all you wonderful loving and truly caring sisters for life!!! i have emails to get out, thank you for letting me complain, and get it all out.

some prayers for uncle Rick  would be nice

love you all 

Chey

Julia I hope your Creatine levels are just a glitch.  It is so frustrating when doctors won't take the time to straighten out their paper work and spend time on the phone explaining things.

Chey-  What can I say my darling.  Uncle Rick deserves a new liver and high quality care.  You and your family deserve a break.  You go get 'em with guns blazing.  Thank God Rick and your sister have you ! I'm praying hard and sending hugs !

Praying for Julia and Uncle Rick!  Go get'em Chey--So proud of you!!

My ladies, did you realize we are coming up on our 1 year starting chemo together? And 123 pages of TERROR,HURT,PAIN,SADNESS,SCARED,MAD,ANGRY,WHY,ALONE,HELP,SICK,GAIN,LOSS,SHY,HUNGRY,BITCHY,TEARS,WTF'S?,WHO THE FUCK?SHOCK,CRISIS,DEATH,KNOWLEDGE,WEAK,STRONG,POWER,CONTROL,NO CONTROL,BLADDER CONTROLS,WE CONTROL, DINGY,FORGETFUL,KEYS? HMMM CHEMO BRAIN?FATIGUE,NO MORES,SMORES,PLAYFUL,PITIFUL,LAUGHS,NEEDS,I CANTS,I CAN'S,I WILL'S,I WONT'S,WHO CARES! WE CARE!,ONC,PS,BS,RO,NP,DR,TE,SE's,PRAY 4 NON OF THESE! DH,DIL,DD,DS,MIL,FIL,LOL,MX,BIMX,SNB,NSMX,SSMX,DX,TX,BM,LOVE,LOVELESS,NOT HERE!,NEEDS,BELIEF,FAITH,GIVING,TRUST,MORE LOVE!I GIVE UP'S!, NO YOU WONT'S!,YES I WILL'S,NO YOU DON'T,AND YOU WONT! GOT IT?GET IT, OK,I GIVE IN,YOU WIN DMOM! CAUSE YOU KNOW ME HEHE!,LOTA HAIR,SHORTER HAIR,SOME HAIR, D-DAY? DAY 14! NO HAIR B-DAYS YAY! WE STILL HERE, WE DONT CARE WE HAVE NO HAIR! HAIRLESS,NAILESS,BOOBLESS,TOPLESS,LOPSIDE NESS,LOTS OF US,LOL NEEDLES IN THE NIPPLE?,WHAT THE HELL'S? YOU WONT FEEL A THING BS!, BC,CBC'S CMET'S,QVC? BLACK HAIR,BLOND HAIR ON OUR KITTYKAT WE DON'T CARE! !WHAT'S,WHY'S,SIGHS,CRIES,CMF,AC,TC,FEC,ACT,ABC? SOON,PROBABLY! FAMILY,SISTERS,CONFUSED,POWERLESS,POWERFUL,HELPLESS,HELPFULNESS,LAUGHS,HAPPYNESS,UNDERSTANDING,STRENGTH,WEAK,IM HERE FOR YOU'S,WHERE R YOU'S,I LOVE YOU'S,THANK YOU'S,NEED YOU, BOND, RUBY SLIPPERS,PEARLS,WINE,VACUUM,CHAMPAGNE, VODKA,HEHE, DRUGS,CHEMO,PEEING RED? REALLY! NOT PEEING,FLUIDS,FLUIDS,FLUIDS,FLUIDS,FLUIDS,TOILETS,DOWN SOUTH, HEHE,DISCHARGE,DRYNESS,STIRRUPS,CAN YOU SCOOT DOWN A LITTLE MORE,YUK! OPEN IN THE FRONT, CUTE BOYS HEHE,METS,FRIENDS,MY FAKE BOOB FALLING OUT IN FRONT OF THAT GUY,LOL,GIGGLES,WILD,TUMMY PIERCING,BLACK LEATHER,HARLEY,WITH A BONSHELL RIDING, HEHE,DID I MENTION FLUIDS? FUN,SPECIAL,WOMEN,GIRLS,MOMMY'S,BABIES,MENOPAUSE,PRE MENOPAUSE,POST MENOPAUSE,CHEMOPAUSE? CONSTIPATION,PARTICIPATION, MORE LAUGHS, SILLY GIRLS,TEARS,FEARS,ER,PR,HER,POSITIVE,NEGATIVE, MORE LOVE, GOODTIMES!! CAFFEINE,COFFEE, LATTEAWWW HOW WE LOVE HER, JUST CANT DRINK HER,DR DOOOOOOOOM! I WRINKLE MY NOSE AS I SAY THAT! YES, NO, WE DONT KNOW! OOOPS,POOPS,NO POOPS,CANT POOPS,FINALLY POOPED GAGGING,THROW UP'S,SPIT UP'S,GIVING UP'S,ATIVAN BEST FRIEND,HAPPY PILLS WAITING,SPELL CK,.. POST'S,NAME'S, PIC'S,FRIENDS,SISTER'S 4EVER! NEXT YEAR GET TOGETHER,HEHE HUGS, MY FAVORITE OF ALL, YOU DONT HAVE TO BE BRAVE,YOU JUST HAVE TO SHOW UP,!! OH YEAH, PUT YOUR BIG GIRL PANTS ON! REMEMBER,MINE ALWAYS FELL DOWN, VICKEY WOULD TELL ME, PULL THEM BACK UP!!  GOOD TIMES!

COURAGE,FAITH,BELIEF,HOPE

Chey, LOVED your summary.  It brought back so many memories.  Keep this, I really want you to perform this in person at out get together next spring.

Chey: you summarized our past year perfectly!!



Today is my first anniversary of my first infusion of Chemo. I figured I needed to celebrate my good health in some way so I decided to go out for the first time ever without my wig!! It felt so amazing. I just have to Learn how to style short hair and I will be more confident with going wigless all the time. My hair is still in the process of growing up and it is curly, anyone have any great hair products to tame the Chemo afro?



Thanks ladies for all our support this past year!! I couldn't have kept such a positive attitude without you all! :-)

Chey, That is BRILLIANT, should be required reading for all who are just diagnosed!  Happy Mem Day weekend everyone, my DH is off to Scottsdale today to look at a house we may buy as a 2nd home.  Winter get together in Scottsdale anyone?

Saw my PCP Friday, she said not concerned as creatinine only slightly above normal, I say I'm concerned as it's way higher than it's ever been b4.  We agree to repeat labs and do urinalysis.  Feel better.  Then this morning, vaginal spotting, WTF!!!  Of course I leap to the conclusion uterine cancer, why does this have to happen when the onc office is closed for 2 days and I'm supposed to leave town Wed morning?  Will try to stay busy today, getting everything done that I planned to do Tuesday, in the hope I can see a Dr on Tuesday.

Julia