Take this job and shove it-rant

cathmg · May 2011

Hi All- just feel the need to vent. Almost 3 years out from diagnosis, and life has taken on a more normal tone, complete with job woes. I was laid off from an administrative job right after chemo, and was feeling the lowest of low. I got another job when my hair was about half an inch long-processing incoming mail and simple data entry for a small local company. Boring, but just what I needed after chemo brain. Two months ago I was offered a more challenging sales/service coordinator position that has turned out to be very stressful. The owner doesn't want to run the place, but just wants things to happen-I guess he wants a mind reader. I won't go through all the tedious details about why this is a crappy job, but it boils down to: what do I owe myself in this life, especially after a brush with mortality? Should I just quit, even though this is probably not the best economy to get another job in? Should I go back to school for a different career in order to be fulfilled ( I am mid-forties and will have an empty nest soon)? I'm having real trouble deciding-anyone else with a sort of midlife crisis after cancer?

Anonymous · May 2011

Hi Cathmg, can relate, admin jobs....i really hate having to go back to the stress, the bosses, the crushing routine, office politics, ad nauseam. If i had the means, i would enroll and be a lifelong student. i guess it comes down to what u can afford to do. Having being laid off after ure chemo is a testimony to how heartless the business world is, and that is hard to deal with on a daily basis. Lost my job 6 months prior to dx and that really sucked

cathmg · May 2011

Hi Luan,

thanks for your reply-you get it! Yeah, pretty cold to lay someone off right out of chemo. I know the regional manager begged to be able to do it after Christmas, and not before, so I'm grateful to her for that little thing. I would love to be a student, too! We have a daughter in college, so lots of expenses. But, after factoring in gas, travel, and higher income taxes I'm not convinced that this stress is worth my parttime paycheck. My health ins. is with my husband's employer, so that isn't an issue. I'm thinking of going back to temping-no commitments.

Are you working now?

Catherine

Anonymous · May 2011

Catherine, that sounds good. Temping part-time, student part-time ?

No, I'm able to manage for a couple more months (sock is shrinking really quickly). I've not had what it takes to look for another job and the Tamox is certainly not helping (chemo brain is child's play compared plus I feel like a 90-year old woman, can hardly get up). Will have to decide whether I go take care of my old dad who is still quite healthy but 80, or commit suicide by going back into the rat race. Both options will exact their own toll on my still very very fragile frame Cry

I am presently in a state of "sunk into my feminine inertia of nature" (Marion Woodman). So much much more to read, have been trying to catch up for all those years when I did not have one moment to myself, but the more I read, the more I want to read, so thirsty !!!!

cathmg · May 2011

I hear you about the Tamoxifen. I'll be introduced to someone and immediately their name is gone out of my mind. I make the dumbest mistakes at work-simple things that I shouldn't miss.

I hope you enjoy the summer, before you have to make a decision about working or caring for your dad. I spent a good part of my day drafting my resignation letter. Wouldn't you know they were nicer to me today...

Glad you're happy and not feeling incomplete without "paid" employment. Lovely to have the time to read! I just reread "Your MOney or Your LIfe, " which gives a good perspective on the fact that all parts of our lives are valuable, not just paid employment.

Anonymous · May 2011

Well it has its good side and the bad. Feelings of deprivation even at the grocery store plus have not bought shoes in over two years (

Glad u made ure decision, i,ll bet the book ure reading had something to do with it one more title to my list...

cathmg · May 2011

Well, gave my notice today. Mixed feelings- will miss the money, but if I'm going to be treated like a temp, then I might as well temp. Some dismay at being undecided about a career at the age of 46. Dang-forgot to have a career! Thanks for your messages and understanding...

Anonymous · May 2011

Congrats Cathmg ! If anything this whole BC business is teaching us is self-respect !! keep in touch, pm me anytime

cathmg · May 2011

Yes, it's quite the perspective we've been given, isn't it? I have to trust that it will work out. Going to pick up my pencil and sketch pad and take a break. Will def pm you-do you do facebook? If you'd like, look me up under Catherine Mayo Glynn-my profile pic is my daughter and I outside a diner :-)

Fearless_One · May 2011

I used to love temping. If I wasn't single and didn't need a steady paycheck and health insurance, I would temp. Maybe take some night classes. Don't stress yourself out if you don't have to.

cathmg · May 2011

Hi Fearless One,

thanks for your support! I think "temping" may have a certain stigma to it, but I've always enjoyed it, too. Like I posted above, I gave my notice last week, but the owner is acting like I'm not leaving-asking me to stay past my notice, and telling me to "think about it." Ugh, I want to move on to whatever is next.

Take this job and shove it-rant

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