Preparing for the worst - do you do this?

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Does anyone else do this when they are waiting for test results?  I've been doing this for the past week while waiting for results on a skin biopsy to see if my cancer has recurred after 8 1/2 years being clear.

Instead of thinking positive, I'm preparing for bad news.  I have a gut feeling this isn't going to turn out well and I don't want to be blindsided by the results, as I was with my original diagnosis...back when everyone told me what I wanted to hear such as "don't worry, I'm sure this is going to be nothing", when in fact, they were all wrong.  So, I am trying the best I can to prepare, just in case I get a death sentence.  Although, I'm not sure one can prepare anyone for such news.

And why it takes 2-3 weeks to get results from a skin biopsy is beyond me.  It's only been 10 days.  I go back to the dermatologist on Thursday to get the sutures removed, and maybe they will have it back by then with any luck.

Comments

  • Suze35
    Suze35 Member Posts: 1,045
    edited May 2011

    YES, oh yes I do this. My family thinks it is being pessimistic, but I find it to be realistic. Getting news that the cancer is back will be devastating no matter what, but I feel if I prepare for the worst, I'm a step ahead of the emotions. And the worst that can happen is I'm wrong, and all is good. You aren't alone there.



    I hope your biopsy comes back clear - 2-3 weeks seems very long! I waited 3 days for my skin biopsy on a rash...I would call and bug the doctor's office on that. No one should have to wait that long for results, especially in your situation!

  • mebmarj
    mebmarj Member Posts: 380
    edited May 2011

    I've always figured, if I'm prepared for the worst, then anything else is better.

    It does sound like a pretty long time to wait, preliminary results are usually only a day or two.

    Call the dr's nurse to either make an appt or just to check in because you "haven't heard from them."

    Hoping the best for you.

  • YramAL
    YramAL Member Posts: 1,651
    edited May 2011

    I so belong in this club! My philosophy in life has always been, "Expect the worst and you'll never be disappointed." Kind of sad actually, but like mebmarj said, "Anything else is better." I find that being prepared for the worst is much better than being blindsided by bad news. 

    I wish you benign results on your biopsy.

    Mary 

  • GirlFriday
    GirlFriday Member Posts: 461
    edited May 2011

    I do this...my family all thinks I'm crazy.  But since the beginning of this BC thing...I've educated myself on all the worst case scenarios...It makes me feel stronger.  I didn't need to have a breakdown when I got me C dx...I was prepared.  I got to celebrate when my cancer which everyone thought was in situ turned out to be invasive and I didn't have to have chemo after four weeks of waiting for my oncotype...I later found out they had it in 10 days, and I was in limbo for 4 weeks!  Call the dr's office...or drop by.  You may be a patient, but they work for you!

  • chele
    chele Member Posts: 1,465
    edited May 2011

    "Prepare for the worst, expect the best, accept whatever you get" has always been my motto.  When I first found my lump I researched every possible outcome, including the worst.  When I found out it really was cancer I wasn't an emotional basket case which let me make quick and rational treatment decisions.  I find that works best for me.  If I went in with blinders on pretending everything was just fine I'd be unprepared for the news!

  • SandyInNJ63
    SandyInNJ63 Member Posts: 104
    edited May 2011

    I guess I'm not the only one that does this...good to know. 

    Thanks for the replies and the well wishes.  It's good to have an outlet, because this isn't a topic I can discuss with my family.  In fact, that's the part I'm "preparing" for most of all...how to tell your loves ones.  I feel like I can absorb the shock better than they could, maybe because I've known the entire 8+ years that this could happen someday.  My husband, daughter (25 y/o) and mom are the ones I worry about most.  For my original diagnosis, my husband had to tell my daughter and mother, I was too busy crying to face them.  From what my husband told me, it didn't go well with either of them.  Anyway, I know I'm getting ahead myself here, but this is what I'm talking about when I say I'm mentally preparing myself.

    And if the biopsy comes back negative, I really have a reason to celebrate and get back out there and live, because you never know....you just never know....

  • AmyIsStrong
    AmyIsStrong Member Posts: 1,755
    edited May 2011

    I think this is the kind of thing that is impossible to understand unless you've experienced it. That's why 'outsiders' don't get it.  But we do.

    I do this myself and agree that it is a way of protecting our emotions. As long as you don't get carried away and obsess, it seems to me to be a healthy strategy. OF COURSE in the back of our minds we are all hoping for good test results. But having processed to some degree the idea of bad news coming back helps take a little of the sting/shock out of it if it does come back that way.

    The best thing I've found is to stay busy, distracted and have your mind occupied with other things and let the time pass until the results are in.  Then whatever the outcome is, you can deal.  KNOWING is always better than being in the not-knowing/waiting period.

    Best to you as you wait.....

  • SandyInNJ63
    SandyInNJ63 Member Posts: 104
    edited May 2011

    So I just got off the phone with the pathology department (shaking while on hold, mind you).  She said the results are not back yet and take 3-4 weeks.  I asked why so long, and she said it's just the process of sending it out, the procedure in reading it, then it comes back for doctor review, blah blah blah.

    This sucks.

  • monjod
    monjod Member Posts: 2
    edited May 2011

    Hi..I so agree with you all about being prepared for the worst celebrate if it turns out better.  When I was diagnosed with DCIS Grade 3, I did what everyone else seemed to do (which makes me feel "normal") and researched, researched and made up my own little folder.  I was starting to freak out about some blogs which emphasised the pain they were in after expanders had been put in so I was expecting the worst but have (so far THANK GOD!!) been relatively comfortable. I am at this moment writing this from my hospital bed and will be seeing my surgeon tomorrow when he will go over my Pathology report with me. Whats the saying "forewarned is forearmed"..So glad to have this forum to help me get thru the next 9 hours till I get the results. I had a dx with Sentinel Node Biopsy and Immediate reconstruction.  Thanks guys for being there at this time of night ...

  • SpunkyGirl
    SpunkyGirl Member Posts: 1,568
    edited May 2011

    WOW!  I was just having a conversation about this very topic with my Oncologist the other day.  He asked me how I stay so upbeat most of the time, and I told him it was because things have so far turned out far better than my expectations.  It works for me, but I do believe that you just can't prepare for everything.  Sometimes, we have to take things as they come.  I think it's important to try as much as possible to not worry without information to work with. 

    I hope everything works out fine for you, Sandy!

    Peace,

    Bobbie

  • CoolBreeze
    CoolBreeze Member Posts: 4,668
    edited May 2011

    I go up and down. I spend a few hours certain it's a relapse and planning for that, then I spend half  day thinking it's probably nothing and not worrying.  Then I go back to tension and nervousness, than I wonder how I could have wasted everybody's time thinking I could get it again.  I plan for surgery and chemo and then I realize that most people never have it recur.  

    I had an easy time with everything - chemo, herceptin, etc.  I was very positive throughout.  There were parts I even enjoyed.  Post-cancer has been the most difficult because of my frozen shoulder and tamoxifen aches.  I have not had a healthy day in two years and that is beginning to get me down, and my mind starts to believe I am having a relapse.

    I was sure my cancer had metasized to liver or ovaries due to the bloating and weight gain I have, but as soon as I had my CT (yesterday), I stopped thinking that way.  It's weird the way your mind works sometimes. 

  • SandyInNJ63
    SandyInNJ63 Member Posts: 104
    edited May 2011

    Good news!  Just got the call from my dermatologist...it's only dermatitis Laughing

    Thanks for all of your support!

  • CoolBreeze
    CoolBreeze Member Posts: 4,668
    edited May 2011

    Congratulations!

     In three hours, I'll have the news myself, good or bad.  Like you I am prepared for bad.  They found a spot on my liver that was not there five months ago.  I am symptomatic.  I think it's best to plan to hear bad news because then it might not be as shocking.  We all know this day might come.

  • SandyInNJ63
    SandyInNJ63 Member Posts: 104
    edited May 2011

    Thank you and I'm hoping for benign results for you as well!  Hugs...

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