Chemo June 2010

Had my 3 month check up today.  Admitted to onc that I was having a lot of heartburn and some pain especially when I lay on the right side.  He decided to do a chest xray and take a look.  Doubt he is going to find anything.  I figure it is just my gallbladder finally taking a dive. 

Funny thing is I would prefer at this point to keep all the organs I have left!  So if it is my gallbladder I don't really want to hear I have to have it out.  Enough surgeries already!!!!!

Dmom - I am on the Arimidex and wondered if could be causing or adding to the problem.  I am eating yogurt every day anyway to help the other end.  I am going to add pepcid for a couple weeks and see if I can get any relief.  I am determined NOT to lose any more body parts.  I am keeping what I have. 

Jackie-  Oh crap!  If it isn't one thing it's another!  Did you have rads?  Sorry, can't remember.  I have heard x-rays give some false shadows and things for a while post rads.  That is why my BS suggested I wait 6 months before I have an MRI (not rads, but also gives false positives after).  I will tell you what I do when I just don't know what to do.  Before I go to sleep I pray that I wake up with a clear answer.  I pray for clarity.  Usually I wake up and have a strong gut feeling about my question.  I will keep you in my prayers for clarity Jackie.  Just tune in to your intuition (which I believe is God's way of talking to you), you will know what to do.  And In the meantime, just try to do the Scarlett routine and enjoy this incredible celebration of your son's wedding.  What joy!

Dmom & JFV - thanks for the notes.  I am definitely praying for clarity!

I got the radialogist report today to read from the onc.  I am going to "sit" on it until next week and concentrate on the wedding this weekend. 

Joan - I am digging the profile pic - that is awesome!!!  I could use a little cucumber therapy myself. 

Jackie, ill be thinking and praying for you, its a shadow,

Joan, i love your pic, lol how nice it is to giggle again

T,i hope all is well, i agree with Dmom, when it silent here things are going good, i hope..

has any heard from kittycat? and latte how are you feeling?bon i love looking at all our pics, the hair is coming in fast now it seems, its been 6 months since or more for most of us off chemo. we all did it!! we really did, together!!

I met a lady who has bc, and im thrilled to be helping her through it, she is much older then I, i took her today to have her port put in, and im going to take her to her first chemo AC then Taxol. she has my old ONC, remember DR doom? YUK!!!! it brang back scary thoughts doing her Dr appts and port appts, but she needs someone to keep her spirts up,hehe, i tell her dirty jokes and i flirt with all her cute techs, she laughs at me,  her daughter told me, "id like to help but i have two kids" whatever! i was so upset to hear her say that, she did not even call her mom today to see how she did getting her port in. I just remember how scared i was,and sometimes still are, i want her to know that there are people, like all you girls here, that really care.

as for me im good, i cant wait for my new boobs, lol im scared but excited at the same time, maybe i can wear a bathing suit again, i wanna show off my tummy piercing, hehe, what was i thinking??? hahaha, oh well, there was no way i was getting a pink ribbon tattoo!!! lol

love you girls

Chey

cheyenna-  Bless you for helping this other lady with her BC journey.  I actually have always found when I help someone else, I don't focus on my own problems as much and it actually helps me too.  And yes, go and get a great new swimsuit to show of your fabulous abs and belly piercing!

I just posted this on another thread, but thought some of you would be interested too.  Just read this on BCO. A new study found that women who take ACE inhibitors for high blood pressure have more than 50% higher recurrence of BC. Wow! I think the study says that if you take ACE inhibitors with beta blockers or beta blockers alone, it does not increase recurrence risk. I don't have high blood pressure, but if I was on ACE meds, I sure would discuss switching to something else. The details are in this link. http://www.breastcancer.org/risk/new_research/20110422.jsp 

Hi everyone!  Today is Saturday and I'm being quite lazy.  I have been battling EXTREME fatigue for a few weeks now.  I get home at 4:00 everyday and by 4:30 I am sound asleep.  I usually wake up around 7:30 or 8:00 - watch a little TV and then go to bed at 10:30 and I sleep all night. I can't figure it out.  I didn't have this much fatigue when I was going through rads.

Had my first mammo yesterday.  It was quite painful on my left side. My tech was very sweet and gentle.  Met with the doctor afterwards.  He said my left breast looked about like what he would expect after surgery and rads.  He wants me to have another one in 6 mos.  

Only three more weeks of school left - then a two month break!  Looking forward to a better summer this year than what I had last year.  Husband and I are planning a motorcycle trip and a trip to Dallas with the granddaughters.

Just wanted to tell you all how important you are to me. I hold you each dear and close to my heart, right next to the pearls.

DMom...have a great time at the party!

Hugs all around. Bon

Hey ladies !  Bon, it's just no fair that you have another thing to worry about.  As you say everything seems to cause cancer ! 

Dmom-  I just ate 3/4s of a choclate Easter bunny.  I am in total denial these days about my diet even as my clothes get tighter and tighter. I do think your 90 % 90% philosophy is a great idea.  I keep thinking about giving up the yummy junk food completely and then I pig out as a way to say goodbye to it.

Chey-  I think you are amazing !  So strong and focused and giving.  That other lady is so lucky to have you !  We are so lucky to have you. I want a picture of you in your bikini !

Latte- glad work is going well.  Hope you find more time to be with your new BC friends.

Sherri- Enjoy your sleep.  As someone said fatigue can last a long time. 

I am having a bad c day.  I began to think about surviving only 5 years and what I would want to accomplish before I passed. Very stressful.  Part of me thinks I am being very morbid, and part of me thinks it is smart to have a set of plans if the worst does happen.  I would like to leave this world knowing I have done my best for my husband and children.  But,  if I become immobilized by fear everytime I think about it, it's useless.  Sorry to share this stuff here.  But, you ladies are all I got.  Other people will listen to me.  But, they have too much invested in me being OK.  I can't get honest answers.  I think I need a life coach.  I don't really want counseling.  I know pretty well how cancer makes me feel.  I want to develop a plan as to how I want to conduct the next few years of my life so if I go I will feel like my family is as ready for life without me as can be.  Am I making sense or just sounding self pitying ?

Thanks for listening ladies.  You are the best. 

Joan-  I think you are totally normal in your thoughts and fears.  I love, love, love Latte's advice, especially the 30 plus year plan.  If you do find a good life coach, please promise to share your strategies.  Maybe you should become a life coach??

Dear Joan...We are all here trying to put our lives back together.  Aiming for that 30+ happily ever after years is definitely our goal, but it's a mighty difficult one to imagine some days. For however long we need...for however long we can...we forge ahead, knowing that there's a big world out there for us to take part in and we struggle to rejoin those who are 'truly' living.

Honestly, I don't know if I will ever feel totally 'secure' again, but I am certainly more accepting of the knowledge that I'm not fully in charge. My type-A personality is now a Type-Ac. That's for After cancer. Anything can happen at any time...good and bad.   Everyone on this planet has an uncertain future. But we have one...we have a FUTURE!!!  A year ago none of us was so sure of that. Now we are more mindful to savor great pleasures and cherish small treasures.

After having cancer be the first thing I think of upon waking every morning for over a year now, I wonder if a time will come when it isn't in the forefront of my thoughts. I surely don't want to dwell on it forever and long for it to become a distant memory, fogged by time. The things I want to take away from this dreadful experience are a stronger sense of compassion and my connection to all of you. We've traveled this rough journey together and shared very personal, often agonizing details, as well as some great laughs along the way. We're here to champion the one needing a boost, and to high-five the one in celebration. We are a team. Frazzled and once fractured, now healing. Trying to make the best of what we have to work with, together. (In our pearls, of course).

For me, that is really security. Knowing that you are all here and that you do understand. I can face the rest of what comes, and go about the business of life, knowing that I have you all in my corner, if and when I need a hug, a bit of encouragement, or a pat on the back. 

Peace, ladies. Let us all have peace.

Oh Bon !  You make me cry with joy.  God Bless all of you for traveling this road with such kindness and compassion and pearls of wisdom. 

gin2-  I truly love the world Julia lives in.  I would take my phone with me too if I thought President Reagan would be calling!  Imagine the invitation list if Julia was throwing a dinner party!

lavendar, you can do it!!! we will be here for you, i swear if it was not for my big sisters here, i would have never made it!!!! i love these girls so much!!!!!!

Bon, wow you always know what to say, you and dmom, we love you so much!!!

lavendar-  Hang in there !  Sending love and prayers your way.  The unknown is very frightening and the amount of information that has been thrown at you is overwhelming.  My advice is  write down all your questions in a notebook and bring them with you to chemo and doctor's appts.  Write down any information they give you in the notebook also.  Drink gallons of water.  Way more water than you think is humanly possible to drink starting now and for about the next 6 months.  Try to get in a little bit of exercise each day and be good to yourself.